I am horrified to hear Women’s Aid are considering charging their policy meaning they may allow trans women (biological men) to work in their women’s refuges.
If you value safe spaces for women, please, please consider talking out.
I have written to them today with a heart felt plea. It isn’t a succinct or well thought out letter but it is from my heart:
Dear Women’s Aid,
In 1992 the violence my father subjected my mother, and eventually my brother and myself, to for ten years ended. It ended because my mother had the courage to escape, knowing she had a safe space for us at a Women’s Aid refuge in the south east of England.
As a nine year old I was vulnerable and terrified. I was later diagnosed with PTSD and still continue treatment into my thirties.
My father subjected me to physical violence, held me at knife point, threw weapons at me and burnt my clothes and toys. He beat my five year old brother to pulp and knocked my mother’s teeth out of her mouth. He damaged her face so badly her own sister didn’t recognise her and she still has severe dental issues 26 years later.
When we first entered the refuge I was terrified. I wet the bed, I screamed in my sleep and whenever I encountered a man (for instance a police officer, our solicitor or even my uncle) I went into flight mode and ran. I just ran and ran and ran. The sight of any man sent me terrified running into woods, through traffic and anywhere I could go to get away.
My mother occasionally recalls the moment I ran into a busy roundabout junction from inside a car when I heard we were going to speak to our male solicitor. She tried chasing me but 9 year olds are hard to keep up with, I got a good mile away before I stopped and cowered in some bushes when I no longer knew where I was. My mother vomited in the street. Our shared fear worked hard at tearing us apart.
Women’s Aid was literally a refuge from that fear. They helped to look after my brother and I whilst my mother met with her solicitor off site so I didn’t have to encounter a man. They helped us find a female GP, pushed for the police to give us a female liaison and encouraged me to have counselling.
They got my mother the medical and dental care she so badly needed after a decade of abuse. They saved us.
Eventually I started to feel safe, we stayed in that refuge for 3 months before moving to a smaller “half way house” for over 2 years and eventually into a home of our own.
I believe trans people have a set of prejudices to face that I do not envy and I believe, we should help them to have a recognised and safe place in society. However I do not believe a trans woman (biological Male) should be extended the right to work or live in a place where women (both born female and with a GRC) and vulnerable children, who are terrified of men, will be made to suffer daily as a result.
I urge you to think of the fear and damage such a move would cause and not give into lobbyists. Women’s Aid cannot alienate vulnerable women and children. Where would I, as an abused child have gone in 1992? How many times would I have ran? As much as I am happy to call a transwoman by their chosen name and refer to them as “she”, a child can very much understand that a biological man is a biological man no matter how much lipstick is involved.
I ask you kindly to consider the young me, the terrified me, the woman who still cries well into her thirties. I ask you to consider the rape victims who want to vomit when they see a male figure. I ask you to consider the woman beaten for years by men, who does not feel safe emptying her soul to a male figure.
Please consider women, those of us born female - who have no prejudice against trans people - but who need a space to be free from harrowing, demeaning fear heaped onto us by men. We are not bigots, we are terrified.
Please consider my plea. I beg of you.
Ms. E, the former 9 year old who only survived because of Women’s Aid.
You can contact them via the following methods:
Tel: 0117 944 44 11 (general enquiries only)
Fax: 0117 924 1703
Email: [email protected]
Our address:
Women’s Aid Federation of England,
PO BOX 3245
Bristol,
BS2 2EH, England