AIBU to not know what box to tick?

[MiddleClassProblem]

Filling out DD nursery application and there’s that question I dreaded question asking you to tick the ethnicity. I have a hard enough time figuring out what box to tick for myself being from a mixed raced ethnicity on one side and a British ethnicity in the other. But DD is even the next generation of that again with DH being British and me being a whatever I am.

Short of tracing all the different branches of a mixed family tree or doing one of those dna test that may not be that accurate, I feel a bit confused. And it doesn’t help that different forms have different box options so you can go in looking for the one you thought might be you last time and it’s not there.

Does anyone else dread these boxes? What do you tick if you come from a mixed parent, you’re mixed British and then have a child who is a bit you with British? Do you just tick the same as you?

Also don’t know how much of a difference it makes that she is white and I’m not. It’s such a mine field!

Ethnicity is the one thing that is fluid. It's how you choose to identify. So do you bring your child up with a dual heritage or as a white British person?

Hadn’t thought to tick them all. That sounds quite fun like pressing all the buttons on a lift.

Well I’m not white...

Oh I see what you mean

I would tick British for her, she is at least 3/4 British.

I think because DF is mixed by 3 cultures it’s a bit tricky

I really don't think it matters. I don't mean that to sound unkind or you're making a big deal out of it, but if you happen to tick the wrong box it's not like it's going to affect her application or they'll run a DNA test and kick her out because you "lied"! In any event, if you want to tick she is a race that she's not, I don't think they can/will challenge you or ask if you're sure.

Or just tick 'prefer not to say'

As well as "prefer not to say" there should be an option of "too difficult to say"

I’m not making a big deal out of it, just looking for people who might be in a similar situation and see what they do.

It’s an annoyance and it leaves me feeling a little lost because I’m not a box and if I’m not a box what’s she?

Tick prefer not to say, when the nursery is filling out data forms for finding their is an option for information not given, there is also MOTH which means mixed other

I would treat it as an optional question and not fill it out. My understanding is that you can't be compelled to answer the question.

If she was born in Britain tick British, but it really doesn't matter which you tick. Don't get upset about it.

Well I was born British in that case but I’m def not just British...

You're over thinking it.

Without delving into your background eg do you pay equal homage to all your other backgrounds? Do you follow all their holidays and saints days? Do you cook all their meals and follow their music and politics? And the answer to that is probably no, you'll be using what ever background your mother used as women are the driving force in the family.

Personally I couldn't tell you what's going on in Germany, Norway, Scotland, Eire or Sierra Leone. So I tick the British box, possibly British Other if I feel a bit devilish.

My DH is mixed race, born here. I'm white British.
I always tick the "other" box for DS.

you'll be using what ever background your mother used as women are the driving force in the family.

My mum is white, I don’t identify the same as her.

Is there not a box for 'mixed- other'? I agree with PPs though that it's personal preference - these boxes tend to be aggregated into a much larger set of data, to be used in studies or reports. For example, is the school/business that you are applying to under-serving the needs of the local population (if a selective school is 99% white, in an area with a huge % BAME population, they may want to study why that is the case)

that's what you look like to me 😂

Trouble is I look like many things lol.

No mixed other

Our family is similar, OP. For me I usually state " any other mixed" and then define accordingly. My adult son sticks with white British ( he looks nothing like me and doesn't share my colouring/ characteristics at all).

You can't "choose" the ethnicity you identify with - it's not like gender reassignment.

You pick the box you feel is most representative, or the one that says "I prefer not to say." Don't overthink it.

Blimey @FreudianSlurp that's ridiculous that they did that, and that it took such a long process to get rid of it!

Why is that ChelleDawg2020?