To be completely confused about gender and trans

[sirlee66]

I just don't understand!! It feel like this year, the gender debate has just sky rocketed and I've realised that I don't actually understand what it's all about!!!!

I was wondering if someone could please explain to me?

I understand that when sex cells form, the pairs of sex chromosomes (XX and XY) are separated. Females carry XX, males XY. So, all normal egg cells produced by a human ovary have an X chromosome and half of the sperm carry an X chromosome, and half a Y

So a human baby’s gender is determined by the sperm that fertilises the egg cell. The baby will be a girl if it carries an X chromosome. It will be a boy if the fertilising sperm carries a Y chromosome.

So to me, you are either a boy or a girl because you're either made up of XX or XY..

I understand that someone who is a girl can feel more like a boy and therefore want to look like a boy/get a sex change. But, technically, you'll never actually be a boy because your chromosomes will always be XX and can't be changed..?

Am I being.. I don't know what the word is.. genderist?

I just don't understand it!! We didn't learn anything about it in school and because this issue has never effected me, I've never had a reason to research into it.

Until now... It seems like transgender is constantly in the media these days and I don't know what to think about it because I just don't know enough.

Can anybody enlighten me?

I've never seen anyone be unsympathetic to people with gender dysphoria. Those individuals would have previously been referred to as transexuals and have been quietly living as women for years, using facilities and it worked with a kind of 'honour system.'

The issue now is the current dominant voice of transactivists who are the ones being heard and shaping policy. Many of these aren't people who are unhappy with their bodies, they have no intention of physically transitioning and are the ones attempting to erase 'woman' as a biological class and change the definition of woman into anyone who says so. They say the penis is a female sex organ and many of them are dangerous misogynists.

I’ve never looked at my body and felt disgust that I have breasts and a vagina.

A great many young people experience distress at the changes that take place in their bodies during puberty. Anyone who works with young people knows this.

I think it must be extremely hard to feel that way, to feel so completely wrong in your body. To question your very existence and self.

But this isn't all trans people. It might not even be the majority of trans people. If you follow the debate you'll see that feminists are really concerned about about those who are not struggling with their bodies.

stitchglitched adds more to this above.

Duck, I agree with your compassion for people who experience such terrible emotions.

However, the man who has been segregated recently after a year in a women's prison harassing the other inmates has not undergone surgery. What about compassion for the women trapped with him?

And compassion for the abuse survivor who was told she had to have her smear done by a Trans Identifying Male (TIM) so she left without having had it.

What about the teenage schoolgirls who are now sharing their pe changing room with someone they have always known as a boy?

What about the children who trans too young, and are left in limbo unable to be a fully mature Male or female?

I think my issue comes with self identification, and the possibility of abuse of an unregulated system that allows anybody to then access previously female spaces.

That is the entire crux of the matter. The vast majority of so-called transphobes - ie normal concerned women, feel exactly the same as Duck for those genuine dysphoric transsexuals.

But they're the ones who lose, along with women, by the introduction of self-id.

4thwavenow.com/2017/12/07/gender-dysphoria-is-not-one-thing/

To add to the confusion, though, you also have those who call themselves 'non-binary' and 'gender queer' who claim to be neither or 'all' genders and who also sometimes demand to be called 'she' (or 'they') whilst having no inclination to alter their bodies at all.

So, what's pan sexual then? I suppose you'll sleep with men, women, and trans people of both kinds? But why does Shane J identify as a gay bloke but call himself pan sexual? Could it be attention seeking?

I think that's pansexual. Never heard of Shane wossname.

I do believe that trans-people deserve respect and dignity like any other person - I will gladly call them by their preferred pronouns, and not make any reference to their biological sex (for example). However, trans-women are not women - they are trans-women. Trans-men are not men, the are trans-men. Each deserves dignity and respect, but they need to accept that their experiences differ from biological males and females

Whilst women may tacitly allow trans-women to utilise their bathrooms and sex-segregated spaces for women, this is not (and should never be) an inherent right of trans-women. A woman should be allowed to challenge the presence of an individual they perceive as male when it comes to issues such as bathrooms, women's refuges, dormitories, and hospital wards. A woman's right to feeling safe trumps a trans-woman's right to feeling validated.

With regards to trans-women holding positions of female advocacy (e.g. being a Women's Officer), I think the rule should be that you have lived more years as a woman than as a man. I object to the idea that someone who has lived 'as a woman' for, say, one year has more insight into women's issues than a biological woman. Also, this allows trans-men to also participate in these roles - I think this would be potentially good, since trans-men have had the lived experience of being socialised as female, and also being treated as male. As such, they potentially have a deeper insight into sexism from both female and male angles. (I do accept that this last point is contentious, but interested to hear any opinions on it!)

Shane J is the drag queen who won celebrity big brother, year of the woman. I only watched because of India Willoughby and Ann Widdecombe. It was won by a synthetic woman.

I'm trying to imagine India and Ann in the same room...

No need to imagine, Spartacus. Next time you are indulging in trashy telly, watch CBB on catch up. I had flu. But watched after I recovered as well!

Oh dear ... I don't often indulge I just have an addiction to old BBC comedies.

With regards to trans-women holding positions of female advocacy (e.g. being a Women's Officer), I think the rule should be that you have lived more years as a woman than as a man.

That sounds very sensible.
Might not have seen off the Lovely Lily though, as I'm sure they would just say they had lived none of their adult life as a man.

DodoPatrol

True, but then again I also think that there should be a higher minimum age than 18 to hold the position of Women's Officer. I honestly don't think that any woman younger than 25 should be in a position of advocacy for all women.

I accept that 25 is a rather arbitrary age that I picked, but still I shudder when I think about my naivety (and internalised misogyny) at 19 years old. I've still not hit 25 yet - I'm fully aware I'm not fully cooked yet!

God, yes, 'over 25 and out of full-time education' might be my preferred criteria.

I too was a chump with indignant opinions about how older women my mum just whinged about minor details all the time, instead of getting on with changing the world.

Minor details like feeding people, clean sheets, shopping, budgeting, fussing about decent bedtimes, paying the mortgage and the like.

Cringe.