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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to report my aunt to the DVLA?

112 replies

IrrelevantPeasant · 05/02/2018 15:01

My aunt is fast approaching her 70th birthday and has various medical conditions which means she is no longer fit to drive. She has no intention of declaring this and intends to carry on as she currently is. I’m concerned she causes an accident and she/ someone else gets hurt/ killed. WWYD?

OP posts:
Ginaxx · 05/02/2018 16:57

Please report her. There was a documentary on TV a few months ago with a widower discussing this, an elderly man mounted the pavement and killed his wife who was pushing a pram. If they declare her fit to drive then at least you have done all you can x

MargoLovebutter · 05/02/2018 17:05

I would still like to know in what way the Aunt is considered unfit to drive. There are lots of medical conditions, which well managed, don't need to mean you can't drive - regardless of age. You can also be a dangerous driver without being old or having any medical conditions.

I'd also want to know how the OP's aunt is lying to the GP. Did the GP ask the aunt if she were still driving, because they thought it would be dangerous if she were? Did the aunt walk to the GP surgery to prove that she wasn't driving?

If the aunt is driving with undisclosed medical conditions - her insurance will be void already anyway and she may also be breaking the law by not disclosing to the DVLA as well.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 05/02/2018 17:05

Understand what, @Charolais? Are we supposed to turn a blind eye to someone whose medical conditions make them unfit to drive, and just hope they don’t kill themselves or someone else?

As a driver, I do understand how important being able to drive myself around is - losing the ability to drive would mean losing a lot of my freedom and independence, and I can empathise with someone not wanting to give all that up - but there is a wider picture.

We rightly condemn people who drive under the influence of drink or drugs - but what about the elderly person whose reaction times are slowed, whose eyesight has deteriorated significantly, or who has some other medical condition that makes them unfit to drive - they are putting lives as risk just as much as the drunk/impaired driver is.

Would you be understanding if a 70-year-old with bad eyesight hit and killed a member of your family?

blueberrymuffs · 05/02/2018 17:06

One day the lot of you, if you’re lucky, will be 70 and you will then understand

What utter bollocks! So when you turn 70 you turn into an inconsiderate arsehole? Hmm Happy to put others lives at risk because you don't want to get a taxi or free public transport to the shops.

ChelleDawg2020 · 05/02/2018 17:06

Report her before she kills someone.

Unfortunately the courts are ridiculously lenient for senior drivers who kill or maim. Somehow an unfit 80yo is not treated as being as guilty as the unfit 25yo driver. Their victims are equally dead!

Pearlsaringer · 05/02/2018 17:12

@Charolais wholeheartedly agree. Everyone saying report needs to try coping with public transport for a week. Then imagine doing it whilst in pain, or unable to climb steps or walk for any distance.

specialsubject · 05/02/2018 17:14

Now imagine your loved one has been killed by an unfit driver. Happy with that?

meredintofpandiculation · 05/02/2018 17:16

But don’t just leave her without transport. Be prepared to take her to the shops or arrange for someone else to do so. Isolation is a major problem for the elderly and infirm.

Assuming she drives because she can't walk to the shop, perhaps help her find an alternative way of shopping e.g. online or taxis (this may be cheaper than running a car).

Yes, because 70-year-olds' lives revolve around shopping don't they? We haven't yet had an answer from the OP as to why she thinks this person is unfit to drive. And meanwhile we carry on building a country which revolves around everyone being able to drive, because either there is no public transport, or the public transport is too expensive. This is something that will affect everyone on this thread sooner or later.

IAmMumWho · 05/02/2018 17:18

My brother was having blackout and Seizures a while back and the doctor informed DVLA and he had his licence revoked until he was 12 months clear. Then got it back after taking a medical and a certain driving test. So your nans doctor will know her conditions therefore has to the right themselves to inform

blueberrymuffs · 05/02/2018 17:20

@Pearlsaringer no ones saying it isn't sad. But do you honestly think it's justified because the alternative would be to "cope with public transport", imagine the pain of a parent coping with the lifelong loss of their child because an irresponsible adult has mounted the pavement and killed them.
Or the pain of loosing a spouse and suddenly finding yourself without a main income to provide the roof over your family's head.

DistanceCall · 05/02/2018 17:24

Report her. Imagine she runs a child over when she drives "around the corner to the shop".

AdoraBell · 05/02/2018 17:28

I would report her too, and let the GP know that she has told you she lied about not driving.

Pearlsaringer · 05/02/2018 17:32

specialsubject no-one wants unfit drivers on the road. But it’s a mistake to assume all elderly people are unfit, or that road deaths are caused more by elderly drivers than other categories. That simply isn’t so.

I’m nowhere near seventy but I’ve been driving for a lot of years, in all sorts of conditions, vehicles, etc. I’m a pretty good driver according to my petrol head son. So with that self endorsement, I have to say the drivers who scare me shitless are not the elderly ones, infuriating though they might be poddling along at 25 mph in the middle of the road. There are a whole raft of other drivers I’d rather not share the road with first. The uninsured for one.

Snugglepiggy · 05/02/2018 17:32

We were so concerned about an elderly relatives driving ,she demolished a wall ,and mounted the pavement and nearly hit a pedestrian in the same week but insisted she was still fine to drive blaming it on her new car.DH contacted the GP as he knew she had an appointment coming up,she was having dizzy spells and balance issues,but was still adamant it didn't affect her driving.We knew she'd underplay it at the GPs as she was so worried about 'losing her independence'We were terrified someone would lose their life.GP said she must not drive and contacted the DVLA.To this day she doesn't know we had a word.However within weeks she had set up an account with a taxi firm,declaring it to be no more expensive than running her car.Please report .

lougle · 05/02/2018 17:32

It's not about age, it's about social responsibility. I voluntarily surrendered my licence in 2011 because I was having unexplained collapses. It turned out, in the end, to be the result of drug interactions, but at the beginning they were querying epilepsy, etc. It was mightily inconvenient, with 3 children under 6 and one of them with SN at a special school 10 miles away, but my priority had to be safety.

BashStreetKid · 05/02/2018 17:33

Charolais wholeheartedly agree. Everyone saying report needs to try coping with public transport for a week. Then imagine doing it whilst in pain, or unable to climb steps or walk for any distance

Everyone saying don't report needs to try having someone they love killed or seriously injured by a driver who shouldn't be on the road.

I doubt that anyone here underestimates how hard it could be to give up driving when you've been used to having that independence for decades, but that doesn't make it OK to put others at risk.

PurpleWithRed · 05/02/2018 17:34

Please report. Then it's up to the DVLA to make the decision. Do it.

BashStreetKid · 05/02/2018 17:35

Pearlsaringer, I can't see that specialsubject anywhere suggested that people are automatically unfit drivers solely because they are elderly?

Pearlsaringer · 05/02/2018 17:36

Sorry blueberry I missed your post. Nothing I’ve said excuses people from driving who shouldn’t be on the road. I agree, it is devastating for families who lose a loved one in a RTA. But elderly drivers are not the main cause of these losses.

SofiaAmes · 05/02/2018 17:41

Not a single person has suggested that you might be able to help your aunt in a less traumatic way than reporting her to DVLA. How about helping her figure out how she can continue to have her independence once she stops driving? Can you help put together a roster of relatives who will take her places? Does Uber/Lyft exist in her neighborhood? Can her heavier shopping be delivered?
My df finally willingly gave up his car keys once he realized that by using Uber/Lyft he could still be completely independent and continue his life (he still works 6 days a week at 89 years old).

QueenShitSandwich · 05/02/2018 17:42

But it’s a mistake to assume all elderly people are unfit, or that road deaths are caused more by elderly drivers than other categories. That simply isn’t so

Well, technically, in proportion to age group, elderly drivers are far more likely to cause accidents. The reason that a relatively small fraction of accidents are caused by them is because there are fewer elderly drivers overall than younger ones

Pearlsaringer · 05/02/2018 17:43

@BashStreetKid you’re right, my post did look as though it was aimed at Specialeyes, so thank you for pointing that out and allowing me to correct myself. I meant that in general it’s a mistake for society to make assumptions about elderly drivers.

pigshavecurlytails · 05/02/2018 17:44

GPs don't make decisions on fitness to drive. It's the DVLA you need to tell, not her GP.

Pearlsaringer · 05/02/2018 17:46

specialsubject not specialeyes Blush

blueberrymuffs · 05/02/2018 17:46

@Pearlsaringer who's saying all elderly drivers are the main cause?

I'm not saying that. It's irresponsible to drive full stop, if you're not fit to. If you have medical conditions, if you have irreparable sight problems, if you are under the influence of alcohol or drugs. It just so happens that it is more common for medical conditions to be an issue when you're elderly as the body does naturally deteriorate over time.
It infuriates me that a 70 year old lady who's unsafe to drive, popping to the shops is seen as less of a crime as a drunk driver. They're both completely irresponsible and both should be prosecuted and banned from driving.