To think there are good things about children gaming on consoles?

[colourdilemma]

I’m struggling with the idea of ds, 9, having an Xbox or similar. But, despite all the bad press for lots of screen time, they must have positives? I’m close to saying yes, but something’s holding me back.

Of course they're different.

It wasn't so long ago that people were calling for the ban of D&D for various bizarre reasons. We look back and laugh at that.

Why do people think you can either be a gamer or play outside, or be a gamer or learn about history, or be a gamer or play actual board games, or be a gamer or do sport , or music or read books?

My DSs do all those things, it's not a one or the other situation.

I don't remember any credible objections to D&D...were there? I know there was a movement to ban it in America in the 70s and 80s but that was driven by religious fundamentalist loonies who thought the spells were real.

I guess I need to do more reading on this because I don't really know anything about the science behind interactive games on screens and so on. I do know, though, that there's a hell of a lot of anecdotal evidence that these games can be addictive, and that kids can become absolute horrors if it's not managed somehow (my nephew, much as I love him, becomes an absolute terror if he has too much gaming time and he panics about losing gaming time in a way I've not seen him worry over anything else). I also know of a lot of men who check out of family time and stay up much too late because they're gaming.

I know this isn't true of all gamers and I do really appreciate that a good game is a work of art (got friends who work in games development). But I just don't see any evidence to suggest that it really is no different to reading or crafting in terms of addictiveness and behaviour. I'm definitely not saying kids should never play consoles, but all the evidence of my eyes says that it needs to be managed in a way other hobbies don't.

Just catching up on reading some earlier posts... Valerrie, could you link to your research? I'm interested.

Oops message posted loads of times, not sure why!

Sure, I'll just have to try and think of a way to do it where it won't be completely outing.

Presumably you can screenshot the pages and edit out your details?

Wow-thanks for loads of really helpful replies! This thread just popped up in my mumsnet Facebook feed. I feel bizarrely proud!
Going to show all this to Di so we can make a decision. Mumsnet always helps with honest food for thought.

At that age I would stick with a Nintendo Switch as it’s more family friendly, has good multi player games and doesn’t have the bloody shoot em up zombie nonsense. I would still out it off as late as you can.
But yes it does teach problem and puzzle solving - we’ll, the Zelda type adventure games do.
We’re another family that have kept the console offline. If DC want to play with a friend the friend comes over in person...

If DC want to play with a friend the friend comes over in person...

That's probably fine in primary school but in High School their friends are wider spread and it's not so easy just to pop over, especially as they may just be having an hour playing in between homework/other hobbies.

I think people need to be really careful about seeming too smug about their children being brilliantly behaved and coming off games straight away when they’re asked. It’s all about the child’s personality. I have a daughter who shows very little interest in gaming. She works really hard at school. Sometimes she needs dragging off the iPad like any teenager, but even when she uses tech she is chatting to friends or creating stuff. On the other hand my son (16) has always struggled with imaginative play and has a fixed mindset (not autistic as far as we know). He has developed an obsession with the Xbox. We have always tried hard to limit his time on it but it’s not always that easy when you’re working or you just want to go out for the evening. I’ve had to set up various off times on the Hub in order to stop him accessing it all day. Then there’s the battle of the phone and PC and endless YouTube. It’s a constant source of argument. We’ve tried to get him to take responsibility for it but he will literally spend all day and night on it when given free reign. He now has developed anxiety and depression, for which I mainly blame the Xbox and hasn’t been to school much for 2 months in his GCSE year. Clearly pressure of GCSEs hasn’t helped but I really feel that the Xbox has fed his fight or flight mechanisms and now everything is stressful for him. The recent medical research shows that people who game a lot have a high incidence of mental health issues. Chicken or egg perhaps? His whole world revolves around his ability to kill people on Fortnite! He plays with other friends so he does at least get some social interaction, but I regret ever buying a console and advise anyone to think carefully about what other strategies your child has for play before you allow them to rely on gaming. I thought we were pretty strict, supportive parents but we have struggled with this. Sometimes ‘everything in moderation’ is hard to manage. We’re now in a situation where the thing that makes him most happy is the thing that’s holding him back, so do you then remove completely the only thing he looks forward to? It’s an extreme situation in our case, but just be aware of your child’s personality before you go there!

I'm a teacher. A lot of children I teach spend an excessive amount of time on consoles- age 6-9. Some of them play age inappropriate games eg Call of Duty, Grand Theft Auto etc. The behaviour they exhibit in the playground as a result is quite shocking. Some other children claim to just play age appropriate games but I find their concentration is lacking, quite often they are left to play the games for hours into the night and lack a bedtime routine. Children are sleep deprived as a result. The games are addictive and the dopamine chemical signals that the brain gives as rewards for playing make the players want to play more and more. My sister in law had the best intentions when buying her 11 and 9 year old an Xbox, yet within weeks it was in the loft as it was so addictive that she found restricting gaming time impossible- so many arguments. Now her children spend more time outdoors, playing with science kits etc and peace is restored. I'm just working on what I observe and for my own children (lower primary ages) they don't have ipads or consoles except a Wii that only DH knows how to operate and it's used rarely. They are both adept at using ipads through school and are allowed to play PC games under supervision so I don't feel they are missing out. It's your decision but my opinion is that the over use of consoles by children is a ticking time bomb as regards the children's achievement and emotional wellbeing.