To think there are good things about children gaming on consoles?

[colourdilemma]

I’m struggling with the idea of ds, 9, having an Xbox or similar. But, despite all the bad press for lots of screen time, they must have positives? I’m close to saying yes, but something’s holding me back.

Mintychoc1 - ITA

The whole 'managing gaming time' is hopeful at best. I have really well adjusted children who have a wide variety of interests and they are like drug addicts around gaming. I don't say that lightly. The only people I know (personally) who don't have problems managing time online/gaming are that way because they have no boundaries and optimistically allow unfettered access. It's a case of too much is never enough. A colleague of mine has two sons totally addicted to online gaming - no jobs, dropped out of education, up all night online with little or no routine. It's insidious.

I see it in my own children, children of friends and acquaintances and children I work with. There are obviously exceptions to every rule but too many others that are not exceptions.

jacques good luck

@Pookie - DD is pretty much allowed access whenever she wants. Because it isn’t “forbidden fruit” and we don’t make a big deal about screen time we have found she is extremely good at self regulating. She’s been online for a grand total of 40 mins this weekend, which was homework research. Sometimes she gets going with a project on MC and likes to play longer which is cool too.

We’ve never had issues with her wanting to game over everything else. I work from home and fondly imagined she’d be on her PC in the office whilst I work during the holidays. Sadly it hasn’t quite met my expectations

pookie absolutely. Oh well, we've told people, not much else we can do. Unless they're very very lucky, they'll soon see for themselves.

@Mintychoc1 with what?

I have a 9 year old daughter and a nearly 11 year old son. They do not play different games. They also do not operate the Xbox controller with their genetalia, so the fact that they are boys or girls does not make any difference (research has shown this too, by the way).

I'm also a teacher of at the moment, 11 year olds, so I have a wealth of experience in children that game.

I'm a gamer, as is my DH. We have every current console.

It really doesn't sound like you understand gaming, Minty, nor do you parent well if you are having such issues. That is your fault, not the Xbox's.

Actually I wonder if the handful of people who don't have a problem with it, and the ones whose kids just aren't that interested in screens.

I have no problem getting my kids to go to bed early. That's not because I have some special skill in getting kids to bed. It's because my kids just like going to bed early. I've been lucky in that respect.

There are some hyperbolic responses to this query. I am sat on the sofa with DD2 age 9 she is currently playing skylanders on the Xbox. No headset or shrieking as we haven't enabled online interactive gaming.

She played hide and seek with her older siblings for the previous 40 minutes, we also had dinner together at a table, away from TV or devices. The children do a range of online activities on various devices but I am the one who uses the Xbox the most for gaming occasionally and more often for watching DVDs or Netflix etc. As the kids are not that into Xbox gaming.

Teen ds plays Minecraft online on his pc. He also does all his homework, works very hard and gets outstanding school reports. He is autistic so pc gaming allows him to de stress from a day of interaction at school. Dd1 also autistic and finds it much easier chatting online on interactive games than face to face conversing which is confusing and too nuanced for her sometimes. We ensure she is monitored while using the chat facilities and constantly check her understanding of what is acceptable and security etc.

So I welcome online and Xbox gaming it provides entertainment and challenges in a way that passive TV watching doesn't. I spent plenty of my childhood watching crap on TV I am slightly envious of my children's access to games/ music/ programmes that I would have loved as a child. I don't see them as dull and passive, it has inspired creativity. DD2 is constantly drawing and writes beautiful poetry and prose inspired by games.

Just because you don't understand or appreciate something, that doesn't mean it is without value.

Actually I wonder if the handful of people who don't have a problem with it, and the ones whose kids just aren't that interested in screens

Not particularly. Her choice of secondary is based on the computer programming access she’ll have.

Jacques - I'm really glad it works for your daughter and she is able to self -regulate her online/gaming time at the moment. Unfortunately for many, many children that is simply not the case. Pre-puberty and puberty tends to be a stage when kids get more sucked into everything online and there's an uptick in use with each subsequent generation.

I think there's always going to be a split in opinion and I notice that parents who game tend not to perceive it to be a problem.

Time will tell.

Nope. DD is very interested in screens and is hopeful about persuing a career in programming.

Yes, it's strange Valerrie, I've taken a similar view to you and whilst DS1 is on his PC a lot, I'd say less than half it is gaming, he watches stuff, writes code, does homework, researches improvements he can make to his PC, chats to friends etc.

DS2, has his PC on but mostly listens to music, watches documentaries, chats with his friends and he spends time practicing his guitar and bass and doing school work. At 11-13 he lived for gaming but grew out of it with no fuss.

neither boy gives us any bother at all.

parents who game tend not to perceive it to be a problem

Probably because we've been gaming for 30+ years and it hasn't had an impact on our ability to achieve academic success, have great careers and function as normal human beings.

@Valerie

'It really doesn't sound like you understand gaming, Minty, nor do you parent well if you are having such issues. That is your fault, not the Xbox's.'

Ok so I'm commenting on something aimed at Mintychoc1 but really?
Minty is simply expressing something that vast numbers of parents see and experience. Stating fact is not poor parenting.

I knew it was only a matter of time before my parenting was criticised!

If my children behaved like that over gaming, they wouldn't be gaming.

If they became obsessed with a game, they would have it restricted.

If I let them play a game that is designed for teenagers /adults and they started using aggressive language related to the game, the game would be removed (but they wouldn't be allowed to play games like that yet anyway).

It's not hard, is it?

I've been gaming since I was a small child - ok, so we had a ZX81 and it was mainly text games. Now I have DS who's four and he plays as well, mainly the Lego games. We probably let him play too much at the moment, but he won't have time in the summer as he'll be out and about.

There are plenty of adults out there who lead full, happy lives that game. It’s not the work of the devil. I hate the attitude that compares gaming to a ‘bad habit’. I’m not into it, but there is no difference to me binge watching one born every minute on an evening to my husband playing fortnite.

My sons opthamology specialist recommended it in short stints as it would help strengthen his eyes, however he’s not keen on consoles

DS1 probably wishes it was recommended for him as he lives and breathes his Xbox

but they wouldn't be allowed to play games like that yet anyway

I used to co-own a games company. I once got ranted at by a parent on how morally corrupt it was making games like Grand Theft Auto. That fact that (a) her kid was 12 and playing it and (b) we didn’t make the game in question was totally lost on her

My son has had electronic gaming since a very young age, starting with Lego on the PC and hand-held nintendo games from maybe 4 or 5, then onto nintendo wii, ipod, xbox, ipad etc. He spent a lot of time on Club Penguin and then Minecraft and most of his teens on FIFA.

He's forecast a string of grade 9s in his GCSEs this Summer.

What it has done is given him the endurance to persist, to problem solve, to learn how to plan and save. In club penguin he worked through the various "tasks" and did a fair bit of googling to find pointers as to how to do things. After a while, he was an expert on it and started making his own Youtube videos (at the age of 10). Same with minecraft a year or two later - made some pretty impressive "worlds" and designed his own working "arcade" games using blocks etc. More lately, he's addicted to farming simulator (so am I but that's another story) where you invest in fields, equipment etc to make profits, so it's a kind of business game.

I think it's done him the world of good. Now, when he comes across a problem, say in his school work, he knows how to surf the net for solutions, knows which sources are likely to be reliable, etc - it's massively improved his research abilities.

It all depends on what they're doing on their computers/consoles. If they're playing mindless games, then maybe not too good, but if they're playing games requiring logic, games which enable you to create worlds etc. decision-making, exploring options, etc., then it's a good thing.

I knew it was only a matter of time before my parenting was criticised!

You said that already, Minty.

Jaques, how ridiculous It is shocking though how many parents let their young children play GTA. When I was teaching year 2, some of those children were playing it. At 6/7!

Absolutely @Valerrie - DD knows that with games and social media age limits are totally non-negotiable. I’m slightly more relaxed with movies as they’re much more stagnant!

Jaques and Valerrie - it's great to hear that you are doing it right and ensuring age limits are strictly adhered to. Unfortunately the vast majority of parents don't think this applies, think the age limits are optional and that it does no harm anyway.

Valerrie as a teacher you probably see many children who play games that are vastly above their age. I would say at least 3/4 of the 11 year olds I teach play age inappropriate games - 15+ upwards. COD and GTA are surepticiously played by many kids I teach without parents even realising.