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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...To request your tips for achieving a simpler life

60 replies

user365241987 · 03/02/2018 20:13

As above. In short, life is far too busy and stressful. I again am dreaming of us changing direction, simpler life etc, etc. Presently, not an option. We both need to work at present, though I only part time. Children in v different stages (toddler to teen). I would like 3 achievable things, we can do to adopt a simpler (less stressful!) life, from anyone with experience.

OP posts:
WipsGlitter · 03/02/2018 20:15

Can you be more specific about what causes you stress?

I'm getting a cleaner and someone to sort the immediate problems with the garden.

However every Monday I'm a blue arsed fly writing cheques for lunches etc etc. I'm so zonked in a Sunday I can't be arsed.

Marvellousmarge · 03/02/2018 20:17

Stop giving a shit about other people and what they do or what they have.

Nomad86 · 03/02/2018 20:17

Not sure how many activities your DC do but maybe ask them to just pick one or two so you're not out too many evenings. At the weekend, we try to go out and do something for one of the days and have a last day at home the other day. It really depends on what is making you so busy I guess. We also eat our evening meal together every night so there's only one lot of cooking and washing up but I know this isn't feasible for some families.

kateclarke · 03/02/2018 20:20

Declutter your house. It will be far easier to clean and can feel life is more relaxed and less busy.

lolaflores · 03/02/2018 20:20

Oh yes to the cleaner.
Dedicate 10/15 mins perhaps 2 times week to the post.
Cancel all mag subscriptions.
Get milk delivered twice a week.
Get the shoppingI delivered and freeze bread.
Cut down duvet covers to 2 per bed. One on other getting washed. Change once a week.
White board in the kitchen.
Basket in kitchen for each persons bits and throw their shit in it everyday and tell them to relocate it themselves.
Is this the sort of thing you mean

WipsGlitter · 03/02/2018 20:21

Oh god the guilt of the unread magazines!!

lolaflores · 03/02/2018 20:21

marvelousmarge Amen to that. top of my list.
Don;t try to entertain the whim of every sod under your roof

lolaflores · 03/02/2018 20:22

I know wipsglitter then they all end up in a sliding pile that somehow becomes my sole responsiblitly.
I throw them out and no one notices...

Original poster
user365241987 · 03/02/2018 20:23

One child is very able at sport so we take her to a lot of additional training throughout the county plus 3 nights training per week. I find it quite relentless much as we want to support it. Totally wiped out by work for my non work days.

OP posts:
lolaflores · 03/02/2018 20:25

Dear Lord user365 that is a lot. Then homework and all the rest on top it is a huge undertaking.

Original poster
user365241987 · 03/02/2018 20:25

Cleaning and shopping under control I think and I batch cook for the week ahead as much as possible.

OP posts:
troodiedoo · 03/02/2018 20:25

Two minute rule - if it can be done in two minutes or less, do it now. Tidying, correspondence, decisions, anything.

Throw away all loyalty cards.

birdsdestiny · 03/02/2018 20:26

I know this is such a MN cliche but meal planning has made my life so much easier. I sit down on Sunday and write down meals for week ahead. No more forgetting to take something out freezer and no more faffing about deciding what to make.

Original poster
user365241987 · 03/02/2018 20:28

Lola I know and want to be supportive but term time is utterly exhausting. DH shares load massively and works f/t as well. Suppose partly wonder if you found it got easier when they were older?

OP posts:
pandarific · 03/02/2018 20:28

  1. Stop volunteering to help people. I have 7 boxes of equipment in my attic because when pissed I volunteered to help a friend sell it. About five months ago.

  2. DIY: Just pay for someone else to do it. You never will. Or you will but it will take six months. Just whack a post up on a local FB selling page or advertise on gumtree for a handyman.

  3. Shared calendar. Take a half an hour out and create a calendar on your phone which links up with your OH's phone. Everything goes in there. If you use gmail as your main email and synch it with the calendar it will put things like flights etc in there for you. Very useful and stops the OH asking you 'what day are we doing XYZ again'?

  4. Stay in pajamas all day at least once a week. Vegetate, have bath, read a book, do nails, make lists. Give evil eyes to anyone who comes near you with questions or invitations on this day.

  5. If you haven't had one of 4) above in too long, say no to invitations. NO NO NO. Sorry, but no.

Littlelambpeep · 03/02/2018 20:29

You are well on with the cooking, shopping and that is the big thing.
Clothes - I tend to sort the outfits for the week for the DC and store in 7 drawer Tallboys

pandarific · 03/02/2018 20:32

If it makes you feel any better, I don't even have any children and I'm crap at dealing with life in general and find it all very stressful.

NewBallsPlease00 · 03/02/2018 20:32

Watching with keen interest
2 X ft work because neither can be pt and life is at capacity
I can't breathe
I am shouty
My health I think isn't at best as a result
I have no idea what to do
I have no motivation for anything anymore

lolaflores · 03/02/2018 20:35

Dear User
Things defo changed into secondary school as they get more self regulating..if that is a thing.
My eldest is 24 and only moved out in June but, more fool me, I still did picking up crap and so on.
I missed her when she went to uni but I don't miss her dirty knickers and wet towels everywhere.
My youngest is 10 and I have learned to turn a blind eye to some of it. Then pace myself as best i can. We didn't have all the training commitments. I coldn't handle that.

Lanaorana2 · 03/02/2018 20:36

Lifting morale is half the battle; if you make the grind you can't ditch more interesting, you and everyone get more out of it. Sounds like more work but it ain't:

Spend ten minutes 1x week making a permanent improvement to the home eg chucking an old cushion and picking a new one online.

Stick some diffusers out when you're done with the grind, by way of reward and extra achievement.

The odd new recipe relieves the boredom of cooking.

Do the jobs you hate first and boil the kettle while letting cleaning products work for 10 minutes, less effort, cleaner house.

Original poster
user365241987 · 03/02/2018 20:37

Panda
Yes, I am inclined to volunteer Blush
The calendar thing sounds extremely helpful and I might just ask DH to set it up.
I think you are right about the PJ day. My toddler would also love that for part of a Sat and DH could take her for some of the day too.

Food for thought, thanks.

OP posts:
lolaflores · 03/02/2018 20:37

newballs what 1 thing in your daily life if you could change it, would make a difference. Obviously something you can change rather than something huge like moving house or the like,
Bless you, you sound at the end of your tether.
I don't work out of the house so I can hone my skills a bit more

TheresSomebodyAtTheDoor · 03/02/2018 20:39

Watching keenly! I'm at breaking point right now.

Babyroobs · 03/02/2018 20:41

We have dinner out or a take away on a Friday . It really takes the stress out of thinking of and buying the things to cook on a Friday when I am particularly exhausted.
I also don't feel bad any more about turning down invitations and skip on work nights out.

Vitalogy · 03/02/2018 20:41

Say no more often.

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