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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

...To request your tips for achieving a simpler life

60 replies

user365241987 · 03/02/2018 20:13

As above. In short, life is far too busy and stressful. I again am dreaming of us changing direction, simpler life etc, etc. Presently, not an option. We both need to work at present, though I only part time. Children in v different stages (toddler to teen). I would like 3 achievable things, we can do to adopt a simpler (less stressful!) life, from anyone with experience.

OP posts:

Original poster

user365241987 · 03/02/2018 20:42

Newballs I am also shouty and my health suffering on all sides!

Randomly, the thing that springs to mind is investing in a new story CD for the sports journeys. That would make it less of a grind.

Possibly also buying some partly prepared meals for DH and I for eve meals.

OP posts:

Babyroobs · 03/02/2018 20:43

I am also getting a new kitchen to include a dishwasher soon. I am hoping this will help hugely. There is nothing worse than
spending an evening tackling a huge washing up pile ( I have a large family and frequently cook 2 different meals )

NorksAreMessy · 03/02/2018 20:44

Go outside,
I know that sounds like just another thing to schedule, but I promise you an hour outside in nature restores you and re-energises you and burns off small people energy. It will help your mental health as well.

Original poster

user365241987 · 03/02/2018 20:46

Babyroobs the Fri take out idea is really good. I think it would help get me through the week if we celebrate the start of the wknd, rather than me just crumple in exhaustion. I could easily add a special treat ready meal order to the shopping which is probably cheaper.

OP posts:

NomDePlumeDeMaTante · 03/02/2018 20:47

Can you team up with someone else to share the sports ferrying? Sounds like you would gain a lot if you only had to do 50% of the runs.

Original poster

user365241987 · 03/02/2018 20:48

Baby Yes dishwasher is lovely to have but it will mean that another job gets added in somewhere else!

OP posts:

Emeralda · 03/02/2018 20:50

Any chance of a couple days off work while the DC are at school/nursery? That might help you get ahead of yourself a bit.

Anyone you know in DD's sport that you could car pool/share the travelling with? That might save on petrol and tedium, if you were doing one less journey a week.

Original poster

user365241987 · 03/02/2018 20:51

Thanks NomDe, funnily enough there is someone starting to do a return job for us. Due to toddler, we cannot fit in all 4 extra kids but they are still willing to help us which is kind. I think we need to look at it a bit more though as some of the journeys esp at wkn are 2 hour trips in the spring and summer.

OP posts:

Emeralda · 03/02/2018 20:52

Cross post with MaTante.

Apaleviewofnothing · 03/02/2018 20:55

Can I ask something...?
Is your DC's ability at sport something that they will appreciate the running around for when they are 20?
I ask this because I have several friends who were very able and enjoyed sport but were never going to be higher competitors than county level. 2 of them massively regret the loss of freedom and the limitation that their packed schedule placed on their childhood.

You know your family best....is this definitely something you all want to do...or is it something you are doing because you "should"?

Original poster

user365241987 · 03/02/2018 20:55

So, I think I have my three things to make life easier...

Get DH to link our calendars
Establish Fri night takeaway/treat tea
Car pool for the sports stuff. I think that this could hep dramatically!
PJ day, I need this.

Wow, that is 4. You people are fantastic. Let's keep sharing ideas though as clearly there are several of us drowning in general day to day madness!

OP posts:

ladystarkers · 03/02/2018 20:58

I have 4 dcs teens to reception. 3 different schools. Chronic health issues.

We are planning to move, Dh will have slighly shorter commute, dd1 will have a mych shorter journey, hopefully other 3 will be local, so will cut down on takng/collecting from bus and ferrying at weekends.

I try put things on my phone diary straight away.

Do all school admins Sunday night.

Get clothes out night before.

School dinners if possible.

I make one dinner, take or leave it.

When I take older teen to activity, I go food shopping while there.

ladystarkers · 03/02/2018 20:59

Number 3 on your list could make a huge difference.

And dcs generally do a max of 2 activities.

Original poster

user365241987 · 03/02/2018 21:00

Apaleview very helpful for you to share. TBH, I am led by DH on this as I am not sporty. Our child is v able and talented in their field though probably for county rather than national. They utterly adore playing so we are supporting, rather than leading IYSWIM? I also wrestle with this but for our child it I a pleasure and they love it at present. I would be equally supportive if all they wanted to do was bake or garden or play on computer. I hope we are not pushy at all, ut is hard to know.

OP posts:

WitchIwasaWitch18 · 03/02/2018 21:07

Read "Goodbye Things" Fumio Sasaki

Changed my life. I'm not kidding. I have so much more time to spend on here and with my children!

YoloSwaggins · 03/02/2018 21:20

Get off all social media - instant de-stressing and more time for things that are actually useful.

Enidthecat · 03/02/2018 21:26

I dont cook on a Friday. Ever. Write lists so i know what needs doing. I set the washing on a timer so it's done when i get in after work and can throw it on the radiators or the line in summer.

Don't have kids or pets or husband. My house would be perfectly lovely if I lived on my own I'm sure!

WipsGlitter · 03/02/2018 21:27

I've also negotiated working from home on a Friday. I can throw some washing in, do a quick shop at lunchtime, and work seems less arduous for only four days.

We do take away on a Friday as well. I also took myself to the cinema alone recently and am going to keep that up.

blueshoes · 03/02/2018 21:31

We choose schools for the dcs that are close and stressless to get to, even if they were not the most prestigious names. Without a SAHP in the house to ferry them around (2 ft working parents), the logistics would get too complicated and life too stressful.

That is the trade off.

blueshoes · 03/02/2018 21:36

Similar to Wips, I made sure the I only work for flexible employers. Flexible working is life changing. I work from home 1-2 days a week and all my dcs' school concert, parent teacher evenings, hair cuts, dental appts happen on those days without me having the commute to contend with. I don't know how I would cope with the complex overlapping and ever changing household schedules and ft demanding job, if I did not have the ability to work from home.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 03/02/2018 21:41

Cook in bulk and freeze portions. In morning place frozen portion in fridge to defrost
Lay out clothes,shoes,accessories in advance. Lay out kids clothes in advance too
Online deliveries (groceries,household etc) saves time,money and less family faff.plus no superfluous spontaneous purchases in supermarket
Buy some generic cards & wrapping paper keep in a drawer, recycle gifts you have duplicates of,or don’t like

Rudolph85 · 03/02/2018 22:00

I nearly started a similar thread. Struggling at the moment. I've decided to do that absolute easiest dinners 3 nights a week. Pizza to bung in the oven, beans on toast or fresh pasta and sauce, scrambled eggs with spinach and tomatoes
Other things are no ironing, a few more wears out of clothes & towels.(obviously not if they are properly stained/dirty)
Depends on finances but buy lunches out or do really easy packed lunch like bought soup in a soup flask and roll.
Cut down visitors to house, bit less pressure to be super tidy.
5 minute pick up of stuff every night by everyone in the house if kids are old enough.

pandarific · 03/02/2018 22:00

Also - eat fruit and veg as much as you can. Just take a carrot out of the bag/apple from the bowl and eat it. And take fish oils, and magnesium citrate when you feel shattered/overloaded.

Mylady · 03/02/2018 22:33

Once over 9 all my kids were responsible for an evening meal - at 1st with support and gradually them taking more responsibility including the shopping eithin a budget - i sit in car park and do catch up phone calks. It falls apart a bit during exams etc and we always have a freezer back up but the one now at uni is surprised at how few other stdents can actually budget and cook. And even when i shop kids akways bring in shopping and put it away.

Apaleviewofnothing · 03/02/2018 22:36

Things that help...
children assemble own lunches (if packed, not toddler obviously)
DH assembles own llunch
rota for clearing table and filling dishwasher after tea (not you)..you are busy setting out lunch and breakfast options.
Overnight oats for breakfast for you.....instant and will destress you and avoid low sugar slump...which is stressful

And the most important (I have 4 dc and am a LP) focus on only one thing at a time...the thing you are currently doing/the person you are listening to,....really, really try to do this 100%, it helps the mind to reduce "scramble" and the feeling of being on a hamster wheel.

Best wishes and remember this time of life will pass...it's a gift so make the most of it.

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