To erect spike like rough sleeper deterrents

[DailyMailareDicks]

on my sofa?

Bastard cat keeps stealing my nice warm seat and when I pick him up and move him, he scratches the crap out of me. He's a selfish twunk and I want the best seat in the house to be mine, all mine! [lighthearted obviously ]

So AIBU to set an elaborate configuration of objects that a cat cannot make in to a comfy seat?

Cat will always make a comfy seat. You cannot win.

Noooo! Surely there must be a way? Hints and tips welcome.

Our cat sleeps on fucking Lego. He would consider spikes a challenge.

Make out that you love another seat and the cat will be all over it

With a creature that can sleep like this?
No chance!

justsomething.co/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/cats-sleeping-funny-positions-5.jpg

Get one of those cat beds that attaches over a radiator... i swear they NEVER move off them....

Put a sheet of cooking foil on the sofa. Apparently they don't like the texture and it deters them from climbing up there again.

Next doors cat used to like to lie underneath a bush I had in the garden. I cut it down to a spiky six inches. So The cat sat on top of the spiky bits giving me daggers.

They're evil, all of em.

Put a piece of paper on a different seat. My cat is obsessed with sitting on paper.

Put a lidless shoe box or similar on another seat. Cat will be compelled to sit inside the box. It’s cat law.

Tape a square onto the floor. Guaranteed to trap a cat.

Cats have maids.

Sorry never got a liking for cats. But each to their own.

What you are going through is unnecessary, but if your cat has a maid, (YOU!) it's fine!

Plastic bin bags that rustle used to stop DDog from getting on the sofa when I was out. Not sure if that would stop a cat?

I sat on mine this week. He hasn't been on the sofa since but that's probably a bit drastic
In my defence, I didn't look when I went to resume my seat 2 minutes after I stood up, and I was sitting on a black fluffy cushion
He gave me a very indignant look that went "I am CAT. Not CUSHION" and stalked off

You need a heated cat bed to tempt him elsewhere.

www.ebay.co.uk/i/161925782502?chn=ps&adgroupid=49511180526&rlsatarget=pla-399467217094&abcId=1130086&adtype=pla&merchantid=113573878&poi=&googleloc=1006965&device=c&campaignid=1029032630&crdt=0

Water pistol

Ollievander late Loyaulte cat was quite often sat on (usually by visitors not us!) her record was an hour and 15 mins before she stretched and said visitor jumped up with a fright.
Current teenage cat however I don't think would be sat on more than once briefly she's a complete binlid!

(He had his eyes closed)
Cat or cushion?

Just sit on the floor.

I used to have a cat that slept with her chin on the cactus. You can’t beat a creature with that sort of iron will to sleep wherever they damn well like!

There are some brilliant ideas here, I will try them in order of appearance and let you know how I get on. I will spend the evening plotting his downfall, and start tomorrow with operation Save My Seat.

To be continued...

Rule 1. Moggy is always right and will have the last word and the last laugh.

Rule 2. When Rule 1 does not apply, Rule 1 does apply.

I had a cat who used to slowly shove me off my seat. Crafty creatures.

I came on this thread prepared to be filled with righteous anger.

Then read the op!!

Cats are actually really intelligent aliens from another dimension.

They are conducting experiments on us, to work out how much fluffy bastarding behaviour we will tolerate because....cute.

They are plotting to take over the world.

You mark my words.