To erect spike like rough sleeper deterrents

[DailyMailareDicks]

on my sofa?

Bastard cat keeps stealing my nice warm seat and when I pick him up and move him, he scratches the crap out of me. He's a selfish twunk and I want the best seat in the house to be mine, all mine! [lighthearted obviously ]

So AIBU to set an elaborate configuration of objects that a cat cannot make in to a comfy seat?

First it's your heart.

Then it's your seat.

Then it's the world.

They are plotting to take over the world.

And when some fool invents a tin of tuna they can open with their paws that's us finished, done for, napoo humans, obsolete.

when I need to take him to the vet, I just open a can of tuna and wait for him to arrive! Mwah ha haaar! Cats could never take over the world, they're too predictable. I even caught the little bugger licking my cod liver oil capsule. Throw a few of those in to the cat carrier and it's Game Over. I will win this one, mark my words. The sofa is mine, all mine!

In our house it's the onesie. As soon as DH dons one of an evening (we're all about comfort here at MacMansions), the cats want nothing to do with me, DS, the radiator, anything. DH thinks this is marvellous though.

YA most definitely BU!

How dare you want the best seat in the house...the ruler your cat must have that seat!!

CatsRule...in case you didn't know that 😉

Spray bottle full of water, that way you can at least avoid getting scratched.

Meanwhile, Ddog is stretched out on the cushion I vacated to go and make myself a coffee!

Nothing deters them. As l speak Feckless Feline # 2 is asleep in front of me on a half finished panel of stained glass. That's hardcore - you can't compete.

Just wait until they get opposable thumbs then you'll regret your confidence OP.

little0miss0mac
Was a bit confused about cats + onesie there & wondered if it was modern take on many-small-creatures-in-a-coat gag. Then wondered what they'd be about in this garb & thought perhaps getting takeaway delivered: Just Eat driver clearly won't hand over the pizza/huge order of spare ribs/other delicacies to a cat, but such a Cunning Disguise would allow them to feast like medieval monarchs. Somewhat disappointed to realise that actually your cats just drape themselves over onesie wearers. Is it just your DH's onesie that they think is so awesome? If you were to wear one too, to whom would the cats go? And yes, I am totally overthinking this, courtesy of lack of sleep & a frankly ridiculous (& wholly unnecessary) number of [partial] joint dislocations: poor blond!cat is having his sleep (he is snuggled against my left hip, snurring gently) greatly disturbed & even black!cat up atop my wardrobe is being startled by the noises my joints are making...)

Oh & sorry Daily, but you've no chance. Your cat would see any such attempt as an exciting new game/challenge. I fear you must bow to the inevitable, but agree with PPs re: trying distraction of boxes/radiator bed...

Rubyslippers7780

Mine ignores it and sleeps...

On the actual radiator!

On me
On the pillow that is under my head and complains if I move
In her carrier - unless we are due at the vet's

I thought this thread was going to be about using spikes to deter husband's from falling asleep on the couch, which is the problem here.

As you were.

Not content with the sofa, he has now attempted a proactive strike and is ruining my Sunday morning lie in.

This is war!

And he looks more than a match for anything you can throw at him, just give in gracefully now or be prepared to sleep with one eye open forever more as he plots your destruction.

Put a cardboard box next to sofa.