Is this rude? Perspective needed

[Spartaca]

Best friend and family coming for lunch. They have two kids, one 4 and one nearly 2. We have 3...7, 5 and 3 months.

We asked them round mid afternoon as our child has a club this morning. They asked that we eat at 1 to fit around the younger child. We shuffled stuff around to accommodate so older child got back here at 1215, lots of running around for them to be due at 1230.

Message at just gone 1230 to say younger child hasn't napped yet and they want him to have at least an hour, so will be round later.

Cue disappointed children, a load of food I have to keep warm and avoid spoiling. One of two days off wasted sitting around waiting indefinitely.

I'm cross. And hungry so we are all eating sarnies waiting for them. There is a slight back story in that we always have to fit around their kids, and messages are often ignored unless something is wanted.

But then I think this is just how it is with kids and old friends. They don't want their child to be tired and grumpy over our long awaited catch up.

DH is more cross, because as always we are being dictated to, and to start trying a kid for a nap at the time you are due somewhere seems rude.

We'll get on with it and over it, but I can't decide if it is rude or just a fact of life.

Opinions?!

[Hippee]

Don't ever go on holiday with them!!!! My DB and SIL were like that - we have very similar aged children and we are more laid-back, so always did the accommodating. The one time we holidayed with them they told DH that he couldn't come into the kitchen until DN had had breakfast because she was scared of him. They also bagged the only room with black-out curtains and complained when DS woke early and disturbed them. We will never holiday with them again.

[laura65988]

And explain why a 2 year old needs a nap if this was the case she should have done it earlier not when dinner is ready now ure kids are put out and hungry u are a walk over and u're allowing this behaviour this is not a friend this is a let down that everything needs to revolve around her and her 2 year olds nap eat ure food and use the card she just did u need to eat now as your children are hungry as it's there lunch time x