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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Can someone just verify that I exist?

32 replies

Isthisthereallife · 02/02/2018 22:19

I'm not sure what it is I've done but in the past few days:

  • I've posted 3 messages on a whatsapp group with a lot of members and not one person has replied. I have never seen this happen to anyone else on the group, which is longstanding. Clearly people don't like me but there's nothing I can think of that I have done to offend them. I must just not be popular or influential enough to warrant a response.
  • I've sent urgent (personal rather than work) emails directly to two different people whose job it is to respond in a timely manner and not even had the emails acknowledged. Again, this is unusual. There was nothing negative in the emails and it would be beneficial to them to respond.

I feel like I'm in some kind of horror or psychological thriller where I don't actually exist any more.

OP posts:
AntiHop · 02/02/2018 22:19

waves

NewIdeasToday · 02/02/2018 22:20

You do exist :-
Sorry you’re feeling like this. Sometimes people are just busy with their own stuff.

FaFoutis · 02/02/2018 22:21

Hello Isthis.
A similar thing happened to me today but it seems my cat can see me.

Haidees · 02/02/2018 22:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Isthisthereallife · 02/02/2018 22:24

Phew. So this isn't the sixth sense.

People aren't too busy when it's someone that matters to them. I'm hurt because I always try to respond to avoid hurting people. That's probably why no one else's messages go unanswered!

OP posts:
Angelik · 02/02/2018 22:25

Happens to me all the time. I like to think it's because i'm wise/too funny/profound/right [delete as appropriate]. You and i are rare birds!

Ohlellykelly · 02/02/2018 22:28

It's not right that your messages were ignored on whatsapp, that happened to me this week as well and I wondered why. I guess I sent my message at a bad time for others to reply. Either that or they are rude.

It's not you op Flowers

Tigresswoods · 02/02/2018 22:28

I was wondering the same recently. I think people get busy & forget or something. I'm trying not to take it personally.

SnipSnipMrBurgess · 02/02/2018 22:32

I was very weepy about this today
I feel so insignificant . People talk over me. I never used to be invisible

NellMangel · 02/02/2018 22:32

HELLO! The previous poster is right. Everyone is too busy analysing their own shit and wondering if x likes them and if y was a bit funny with them on Tuesday. It's like dominoes. I'm the same and really working on not giving a shit x

RapunzelsRealMom · 02/02/2018 22:33

You definitely exist.

Sometimes I feel like this. I often don't take it personally but sometimes it's hard not to, depending on how I feel.

I think that sometimes the things i say aren't terribly interesting and people choose not to respond or don't know how to respond. Sometimes it's just circumstance.

It feels awful when circumstances dictate that people ignore you but please try not to take it to heart.

Original poster
Isthisthereallife · 02/02/2018 22:35

With the whatsapp group I wonder if it's me, or because someone from my past has been telling lies about me. They have an interest in bad mouthing me. I don't want to say anything too outing but I get paranoid because they've done this kind of thing before.

OP posts:
Original poster
Isthisthereallife · 02/02/2018 22:36

Thanks all for acknowledging me here Smile

OP posts:
FaFoutis · 02/02/2018 22:40

It sounds like the group is not a positive thing for you. You could leave it.

NellMangel · 02/02/2018 22:42

Honestly I go through this often. Become convinced someone doesn't like me. Then that others have taken their (imaginary) side. I think it's a lot to do with living alone and not having someone to point out my paranoia and rambling thoughts x

Riverside2 · 02/02/2018 22:44

Try posting this, they might get the hint

m.youtube.com/watch?v=WKHzTtr_lNk

Smarmydrippings · 02/02/2018 22:46

I'm guilty of leaving people waiting. It's because I have severe depression and on my worst episodes I just don't function on any level.
Although to be fair that's very unlikely to apply to a group of people unless it's a group pertaining to MH issues.

MammaTJ · 02/02/2018 22:59

I'm feeling a bit like this with some friends of mine. Ho hum!! I have other friends who give a shit. I hope you have that in your life too!

Anyway, I can see you, you do exist, and what's more, you are important!

Shine0n18 · 02/02/2018 23:11

You exist! And you deserve better.

You could take it as an opportunity to start giving less shits. The past year or so I've started prioritising the people who prioritise me. It brings a great sense of mental freedom. If someone takes three days to respond to a Whatsapp message with a flaky reason then I'll show them the same courtesy.

Shockers · 02/02/2018 23:13

I’ve not responded to messages (from people I adore) this week because my head is stuffed full of the things I absolutely have to concentrate on right now.

I’ve noticed that when I’ve sent a message, because I need to communicate something important, I’ve had no reply... but then realised that that I’m not responding to things I need to either.

I think it’s been a January thing. We’re all either at work, or absolutely knackered!

Hopefully spring will see us all break free from the grinding tiredness of winter, to seek the light and growth we get from human interaction.

Original poster
Isthisthereallife · 02/02/2018 23:19

Thanks everyone. Sorry to hear of other people's similar experiences.

I do have proper friends, but they're not on my doorstep and I think that's part of the problem. I'm a bit of a misfit - someone who people think is nice, but not for them.

OP posts:
ethelfleda · 02/02/2018 23:37

I get this all the time. In fact, it happens to me a lot on MN... quite often I will post and that'll end the thread. I can almost feel people backing away and going Hmm
One time I was thinking I might reply to a thread with something really controversial to check if I'm really here or just a ghost or something.

ShakeShakeTheMuffin · 02/02/2018 23:39

Have some Flowers OP from another misfit.

MyToeHurtsBetty · 02/02/2018 23:48

Lol at Mr Cellophane! I hear you.

cate16 · 02/02/2018 23:59

My daughter was faffing about with mine and her phones when she visited this week- she said her messages weren't going though properly?

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