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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think work is easier once your kids are at school??

83 replies

ibblebibbledibble · 02/02/2018 22:09

Finding decent before and after school care is a frickin nightmare. There’s a plethora of nurseries and childminders for babies - preschoolers but for school age children

OP posts:
AppleAndBlackberry · 03/02/2018 08:18

I'm lucky enough to be able to work mostly school hours and share school runs with DH but holidays are still a challenge. My two are 7 and 8 and we're running out of holiday clubs that they are willing to go to. I tried one in the next town which was an hour round trip for me. No grandparent help here as they all still work FT themselves. I'd love to find someone who could look after them at home but I don't think that's possible for holidays only.

WithTwoGiantBoys · 03/02/2018 08:23

This is why I ended up quitting my job when ds2 started school.

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 03/02/2018 08:30

happy2bhomely That’s exactly what a childminder is! ‘I don’t want to be a childminder but...’ and then you’ve gone on to say you want to do exactly that. Confused

Mercedes519 · 03/02/2018 08:37

Summer holidays are already causing me worry. I lost my childminder last year and have cobbled together stuff since then but summer holidays are a nightmare.

Our local authority runs activity days for £1. Amazing. They finish at 3pm Confused

Oh and as a PP said, the endless workshop/assembly/play/disco requests....

Mandatorymongoose · 03/02/2018 09:24

I was thinking about this last night. I have 3 adults in my house - me, DH and DD and still struggle to manage before and after school time with DS.

We're all shift workers (+ college for DD) so try and work opposite each other but if we can't how do we get childcare until 9 / 10pm?

onetwothreefour5 · 03/02/2018 10:02

happy2bhomely childminders are inspected by ofsted, you have to register to be a childminder over a certain number of hours i believe and if you earn money from it so best check with your local authority. Lots of unofficial childminders operating out there I believe

Bringonspring · 03/02/2018 10:05

Have t read all the replies but in London there are now nanny agencies that pair you to university students who can pick up from school and then help with homework. My friend had one 4-6pm who is an undergraduate. Has made a big improvement to her child’s maths as well. She pays £12 an hour.

hennybeans · 03/02/2018 10:34

This is one of the main reasons I'm a sahm to school age children ( also because it works for our family overall and is what I choose).

We have no family nearby, there are no childminders in our small village, and DH is a contractor so a day off= no pay. We actually have before and after school club but it's very expensive for three kids and closed on holidays.

The only holiday clubs are from 9-3 and about £90 a day for three kids and 30 min drive away. And my eldest hates going to those kind of things so he'd be seriously unhappy to spend all his time off school at holiday club, and my littlest would be exhausted to do before and after/ holiday club.

Not to mention how school pretty much assumes a parent or grandparent will be available for every assembly, open afternoon, church service, parent/ mother's Day/ father's Day lunch, reading afternoon, Christmas/ Easter/ summer fair, etc.

cansu · 03/02/2018 10:37

I agree. Mind you try adding in special needs teenager and you have no chance of childcare.

rewritethestars · 03/02/2018 10:39

It’s a nightmare. I had two children in two different schools. I used a mixture of breakfast clubs, part-time nanny, childminder, private nursery with drop-offs and a charity worker who came to the house at 7.30am.

Bearfrills · 03/02/2018 11:00

Lots of unofficial childminders operating out there I believe

And the penalties are severe for operating as an unregistered childminder, you can receive an unlimited fine and be sent to prison.

Alarge part of the reason I'm a SAHM now is because the logistics of childcare for school age children were much to much for me to cope with on top of working, hats off to everyone who does manage it especially in regions where provision is lacking.

Agree with PP too about lack of provision for children with SEN, my eldest can't cope with childcare (he couldn't even cope in my own childcare setting when I was a childminder) so my options are limited. He won't go to after-school clubs except on his terms which usually means he'll go for one session and then ask if he can have a break so will miss the next 1-2. I can't think of any employer who would appreciate me phoning up to say "sorry, DC1 has decided he won't go to after-school club today so I won't be in..."

happy2bhomely · 03/02/2018 11:59

That’s exactly what a childminder is! ‘I don’t want to be a childminder but...’ and then you’ve gone on to say you want to do exactly that. confused

Well, I meant I wouldn't want to do it full time! I wouldn't want to look after babies or toddlers from 8 until 6. I would only want to have older ones for a couple of hours each day. I was only musing anyway. It's not a business plan!

The childminders I know look after mainly under 5's and spend their days in toddler groups and libraries.

Just to clarify, I would never charge for anything unless I was registered and insured in some way. I know there are strict rules for looking after someone else's dc in your own home for more than 2 hours, for very good reasons. I was just wondering that's all.

Childminders in England caring only for children aged 8 and over do not need to be registered or inspected by Ofsted. They can, however, choose to join the Ofsted Childcare Register.

I found the above on PACEY so I guess it is a thing anyway.

DarthNigel · 03/02/2018 12:13

I have found it harder now mine are 10 and 11-not quite old or trustworthy enough to be home alone after school until 5.30, but too old to want to go to childminder or after school club. In fact dd2 walked out of both and ended up wandering around on her own a few times which was hair raising. I had to take a lesser status part time job as a result and will be stuck doing that until she grows up a bit. Before now she would go to CM or after school club no bother.

DarthNigel · 03/02/2018 12:15

Also our School breakfast club starts at 8.15 and after school goes to 5.30 but we live in a small town with few jobs-you have to travel 45 mins to an hour taking into account traffic to get to work in the bigger nearby towns-so it's of use to very few people!

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 03/02/2018 13:34

It’s bit compulsory to look after little ones during the day, there are all types of cms. Term time only, holiday only, early years only, after school only or indeed some do everything. It’s all still called a childminder though!

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 03/02/2018 13:34

*not

AndromedaPerseus · 03/02/2018 13:46

I totally agree OP so glad when all mine went up to secondary. I was lucky and eventually got a school hours job when they were in primary but school holidays were endless planning and baton passing between Me, DH, GPS and Holiday clubs.

A free school opened up locally a couple of years ago and I swear their USP was they opened at 8am-4pm and had a after school club until 6pm on site. The school always has a long waiting list.

Frazzled2207 · 03/02/2018 15:38

It's definitely easier paying for them to go to Nursery 51 weeks a year while they don't know of anything else.

My eldest ds started school in September which coincided with me getting redundancy from my job. We are lucky in that our school does wraparound care 7.30-6 but that is far too long a day for my son. So I'm basically a sahm mum at the moment. Luckily we can afford it, for now, but not long term.

Frazzled2207 · 03/02/2018 15:44

Also I have figure out that our family set-up (2 kids) just doesn't allow for two careers. Hats off to those who manage it but I honestly haven't got the head space to manage a career and the children so letting my dh concentrate on his career leaving me to chase the children and do most of the housework is what works for us for now even though financially it's far from ideal.

I am in awe of families who do manage it with two full time jobs. We couldn't.

Waitinforaflamin · 03/02/2018 15:48

@bringonspring I’m in London and I use one of these services. We found a student who lives in the next street over and can do most pick ups, but we have to be a little flexible re schedules. They have also been able to step in over holiday periods and help out too. Not full time but I’m sure some would. It’s not cheap but IMHO totally worth it.

TheSconeOfStone · 03/02/2018 15:53

We use a school age only CM. She’s fantastic. She’s retirement age so is happy just to do a few hours a day in term time plus holidays, and to avoid nappies etc. We do have helpful retired grandparents for part of the time as well.

londonista · 03/02/2018 16:06

@happy2bhomely you should do it! Sounds like it could work for you and as you can see definitely a need.

Alphvet · 03/02/2018 16:11

Completely agree. The country not cut out for two working parents particularly if parents hours are not flexible

Exiguous · 03/02/2018 16:38

I found the wraparound care easy but don't get me started on the 11-week summer holidays. Those broke me.

I now wfh, and use various summer camps with varying length days, and often work weekends/evenings in the summer.

arghh21 · 03/02/2018 17:45

Reading with interest. DC1 is at preschool & even with the free hours once I include wrap around care it’s still £35 a day. DC2 will be starting with a CM in 2 weeks time. I’m starting a new pt job that is only 20 mins walk from me & they are being super flexible but school holidays will still be a test & Im lucky to have family close for emergencies. One of my friends takes home approx £800 after childcare costs for 2 DC & that’s from a 50k salary. It’s so expensive & so much agg but I really want to stay working.