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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think work is easier once your kids are at school??

83 replies

ibblebibbledibble · 02/02/2018 22:09

Finding decent before and after school care is a frickin nightmare. There’s a plethora of nurseries and childminders for babies - preschoolers but for school age children

OP posts:

edwinbear · 02/02/2018 22:42

londonista SE London 😁. I'm paying £20 a day on school days and £30 a day in the holidays. I thank my lucky stars every single day.

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 02/02/2018 22:42

Gosh it was only a suggestion

hibbledibble · 02/02/2018 22:45

georgie wrong thread?

londonista · 02/02/2018 22:46

And what's the deal with holiday clubs that run 9.30-5.00pm? How can I drop them off and pick them up and do anywhere near a full day at work? I end up picking them up and then trying to do some work in between cooking, breaking up fights, rescuing the hamster (parenting, basically) and end up doing it all badly.

DontMakeMeShushYou · 02/02/2018 22:46

I feel for all of you in this situation. I've been there, juggling school-age kids with work and it's exhausting. I'm just about through the other side now with both children at secondary. They are more independent and can let themselves in at home and stay there if needs be. And during the holidays I sometimes take them into the next town where I work and leave them to look round the museum/go to the cinema. It's still a lot of juggling but perhaps slightly more options for when things go wrong (I've left my 13 year old at home in bed before when he's been too poorly to go to school. My parents are a few minutes walk away and I know he'll just watch TV, play on his phone, and forage in the kitchen cupboards).

It does get easier.

speakout · 02/02/2018 22:47

I agree.
I never did get back to having a full time job.

My youngest is 17 now and I have grown to love it.

Notcontent · 02/02/2018 22:47

Oh, I agree completely! I am a lone parent with quite a demanding job. When dd was really little, it was actually quite easy. For a while I had a nanny and then nursery, and it all worked out. Then once school started, it all became really complicated. After schedule club was no good for me, as finished too early, so I had to find an after school nanny, which was not easy, and school holidays became a complex juggle. Dd has now started secondary school but she is still too young to be home alone all day during school holidays so that’s still a challenge!

londonista · 02/02/2018 22:49

Notcontent - I know it's a shocker isn't it.
On Mondays my sons go to a school club, then after school care which finishes at 5.30pm (!!) and then I've managed to find a teenager to pick them up and bring them here until I get back 7.30pm. They've been handed over 5 times in one day!

scrabbler3 · 02/02/2018 22:55

Yes OP I agree. I remember it well. The juggling, and being in gridlocked traffic with heart racing because you have timed the nursery run with only ten minutes to spare. And holiday clubs that start at 9.30 - absurd!

I was lucky - I found a local 9-3 job and they allowed me to take 6 weeks summer hols unpaid, with the rest covered by ex husband, parents and annual leave.

Once they are 12/13 it's 10000 times easier. It'll pass OP.

MammaTJ · 02/02/2018 23:03

Working nights worked for me when my DC were little. I could work two nights apart when they were tots, so no need for sleep, then when they went to school, I ramped it up to full time, four nights in a row and sleep during the day. Sometimes I even had an arrangement with another mum, where I took all the DC to school and she picked them up, so I could sleep for longer.

Arcadia · 02/02/2018 23:03

Yes yes yes. DD is 8 and has got harder rather than easier recently for various logistical reasons. Constantly feel torn between guilt towards her and frustration that I can't put more into work. Always rushing. We have a whiteboard in the kitchen with the routine and literally every day is different. Holidays are a complex jigsaw! We are lucky to have a fairly decent after school club 3 days a week but it is tiring for her.

Arcadia · 02/02/2018 23:04

And ASC finishes at 5.30 which is a rush.

happy2bhomely · 02/02/2018 23:09

I keep thinking about this. I don't work. I am not only a SAHM but I also home educate our 3 youngest dc.

I keep wondering if there is a way that I could advertise that I am available to do school drop off/pick up for local mums with dc over say 8 ish. My dc would benefit from seeing other children every day for a couple of hours and I'd be earning a little bit.

What rules are there for this sort of childcare? Does anyone know? I wouldn't want to be a childminder all day, but the idea that I could pick up one or 2 dc from a local school, take them back to play and have tea or do homework, then they get collected before 7 sounds great. Like a play date every night that I get paid for!

I'm sure there are lots of reasons why it wouldn't work but it just seems a shame that if I'm at home anyway then a couple of extra dc in the half term for my dc to play with wouldn't make a huge difference to me but it could make a big difference to some who is trying to juggle work/kids/house etc.

Sorry, I know it's a bit off topic but it made me wonder.

Tringley · 02/02/2018 23:31

Yup. A huge number of my friends who went back to work after maternity leave quit work a few months into their first child's first year at school. They found that the work of parenting intensified in so many ways, giving up a salary was the best option. Those who had stayed home but planned to go back to work when their kids were at school either tried and gave up or looked at the logistics and decided against it.

Yet you get soooooo many snide comments about stay at home parents with school aged children on here.

cudbywestrangers · 02/02/2018 23:44

I completely agree. My eldest started school in September. We didn't get into breakfast or after school club and were lucky to get a place with a childminder who does 7:30- 1800 and although the evening pick up is tight it's worked well. She doesn't do holidays though and getting those covered is a nightmare! And financially we're no better off as nursery with 15 free hours is about the same as school wraparound. So generally more stress and still on a financial tightrope

AmaraSas · 02/02/2018 23:47

Cheaper! I pay nearly £200p/w..... when he was a baby in nursery it was 650p/m. Childcare costs is killing me.

londonista · 03/02/2018 07:38

Happytobehomely

Sounds like a great offer, I'd take you up on it! I'm not sure how you get started. I think you'd at least need to sort out insurance and police checks. If you want to be registered then I believe that's a more formal process but I think a google search might help.

I have many friends like you, and thank god they're all pretty kind and help me out with pick ups and drop offs when I need it. I am constantly taking bunches of flowers and cakes around to various peoples places in gratitude as I can't often reciprocate!

The main thing for me is the guilt at shunting them around from pillar to post. They're such good boys too.

megletthesecond · 03/02/2018 07:41

Term time and school holiday childcare is way more hassle than when they were little.

Mine used to be at nursery 50 weeks a year, 8-6. It was so much less stressful.

Lethaldrizzle · 03/02/2018 07:45

There are websites where you can find any type of childcare in your local area.

londonista · 03/02/2018 07:45

Megle me too. Our nursery did 7am till 6.30. It's quite a long day for them though I know.
I only work 3 days a week, and I just want to be able to work a full day when I go in - not overtime or late just a proper 9.30-6 day. With an hour commute each way it makes it impossible without doing a juggle.

FluffyMcCloud · 03/02/2018 07:47

I'm lucky to have a term time job as holidays must just be a nightmare and vastly expensive for childcare.

I use the school wraparound care which is brilliant, but very expensive. After childcare costs and loss of all tax credits I am less than £100 a month better off working full time than I was working 8 hours a week...

Can't wait til they are all in secondary school!!

MinnieMousse · 03/02/2018 07:48

I agree. If the school doesn't have an on-site after school and breakfast club it costs a fortune.

littleducks · 03/02/2018 07:54

Definitely trickier. As kids get older they also have more opinion about what they want- they all loved nursery but had no interest in going to a childminder. Now will only go to holiday clubs if friends are going too. Oldest in secondary now and there are no options at all really.

Our school had no breakfast club and afterschool club ended at 5.45. Impossible to fit in a working day.

I have cobbled together bits and pieces in different combos over the years with a few favours.

londonista · 03/02/2018 08:09

Littleducks- good point.
Just trying to organise half term clubs and coordinate with other mums so my eldest son will have friends there. Little one still happy to go anywhere his big bro does.

What happens in secondary school at holidays? Do people leave them home alone while they go to work?

WeAllHaveWings · 03/02/2018 08:17

Dh and I shifted our working days to cope. I started work early and dh dropped at school. Ds went to after school and I finished work at 4 and picked up around 5. Dh worked late.

Do you have the possibility to do this for the primary school years?

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