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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is this police training action at DD(14) school really bizarre, bordering on inappropriate, or completely fine and normal?

140 replies

questionzzz · 02/02/2018 21:42

This is kind of preying on my mind.
A local police officer made a fake instagram account impersonating a teen from a (different) local school, and sent "friends requests" to a bunch of students at the local high where DD goes. Some of them accepted, despite not knowing the person who had sent them the request- one of them being one of DD's friends.
So this officer saw what these schoolkids are posting on their (private) accounts. DD's friend posts a lot, including pics of herself in clothes showing cleavage. Apparently, according to DDfriend, the police officer subsequently approached her, told her that the pics were inappropriate- these pics were subsequently deleted from the account. This happened to several students (dunno if just girls targeted, or boys too) On Thursday (yesterday), the officer addressed the whole school, told them about this instagram experiment, how dangerous social media was, talked to them about sexting and sending nudes and the fact that it is illegal at their age, told them how a boy two years above than them, super smart with a great future etc, had showed nudes of his gf to other boys and was now in prison, his whole life ruined before it started, on the sex offender's registry.

The speech seemed to have backfired, because as far as I can tell, the kids seem to have more sympathy with the boy in the police officer's story?

Anyway- the speech wasn't that bad if heavy-handed, and I'm all on board for training about social media- , but the whole instagram experiment thing? I can't seem to wrap my head around it. It seems- over-zealous? Right now, it's become a bit of creepy joke with DD and her friends- I heard them going through their accounts "ooo that one would be banned FOR SUUURE"

what do you think?

OP posts:

Nicknacky · 02/02/2018 23:38

OP, you are completely right. Young teenagers should be allowed to post photos of themselves wearing not a lot on social media where strangers then look at them. How dare that police officer have pointed out that it's not appropriate.

Ginkypig · 02/02/2018 23:40

Questionzzz you have just shown why this is so so important, you just said your dd may have added this person if a couple of friends had. They are very lucky this was a police officer doing a job and not a sexual predator who would then have gone on to target and abuse your dd or others!

MermaidHead · 02/02/2018 23:40

OP, Was your daughter doing the norm “pout face with elevated boobs pose” that most teens tend to do?

Originalfoogirl · 02/02/2018 23:40

If this fake friend request had shown up for her, and it was already "friended" by a couple of her closer friends, she very well might have friended "him", assuming he was their friend. They are "friends" with the whole school, people who have moved away, ppl they were in camps together, distant family etc etc.

Presumably now your DD knows how dangerous it is to make this assumption and that having a gazillion internet friends as some kind of sign of status is utterly ridiculous?

Mxyzptlk · 02/02/2018 23:41

if they had accepted this random friend request (assuming they were mutual friends) , would that mean they would all be told off by a police officer??

Possibly it does, because accepting friend requests from people you don't know (even if they are mutual friends) isn't a smart thing to do.

Chugalug · 02/02/2018 23:41

He achieved his aim ,got his point across,..not a problem,excellent idea

Ginkypig · 02/02/2018 23:45

Your other point though.

They should be able to post what they want and yes that's true if they were then keeping their accounts secure instead they are adding total strangers who could be anyone! How would they feel to find their photos copied and shared amongst perverts or find their picture had been used on a porn advert etc they are all opening their most vulnerable selves to the whole world!

MermaidHead · 02/02/2018 23:46

Sorry OP, that should’ve read “Was your daughters friend doing the pout face with elevated boobs pose” ?

WorraLiberty · 02/02/2018 23:48

Another thing to remember is, even if kids are sensible with their security settings so randoms can't message them, accepting requests from strangers because 'everyone else has them as a friend', means they may instantly find themselves on the receiving end of dick pics.

And no, the police won't always have the resources to track these perverts down, who generally keep their tracks well hidden.

Therefore if kids are to have social media accounts, they need it drummed into them that the responsibility is theirs when it comes to who they accept/reject.

worridmum · 03/02/2018 00:09

You do know the person originally sending the nude images is also breaking the law in a school in brimgham a 15 year old girl got charged for distribution of indecent child images of herself......

She had sent the images to her 13 year old boyfriend and his parents reported it.... so its not only processing it, they can be charged for making it even if its themselves....

captainjackandjill · 03/02/2018 00:16

We had this done at our local schools as well. The majority of the kids thought it was pretty scary how easily they could be fooled, but also took the point and appreciated the lesson. A few of the ones who were 'caught' were the only ones making silly comments due to their own embarrassment.

For those commenting on the police being creepy... Do you think the police want to be doing this job? NOPE. One of my close friends was a cop. These are the kind of jobs they wish they didn't have to do, but unfortunately who else will do it?! As Nooka said up-thread, we've had kids suicide due to being messed about by on-line stalkers, the police are trying to get ahead of this crap by making the kids do some serious thinking. (DD2 knew some 13yo who posed in their bras/knickers and posted on IG (open accounts), and called it women's empowerment. Some kids just can't see the dangers.)

For me personally, I say thank goodness for the police. My kids are safe on-line, but there are many others who don't have anyone looking out for them.

wakemeupbefore · 03/02/2018 00:36

People, impossible to please
On one hand there is a mass whinge that 'government' must do something to keep children safe online; on the other, government that actually comes up with an inventive and effective way to do just that is 'creepy'.

Either shut up and take responsibility of the online safety of your own personal teenagers or put the sock in it and feel grateful someone is trying to do that....

Arrghhh.

TheBrilliantMistake · 03/02/2018 00:51

It's not just kids that need to understand it's parents and teachers too.
Amazing how easily kids can find their teachers on Facebook and work out where they live etc.
People are just so naive to how easy this can be.

The ethics of this 'experiment' are highly questionable and probably contravene a lot of the T&C's of using Facebook etc, but it does prove a point. Every time you upload an image to Facebook (and a number of other cloud based services) your photos are FaceID'd and crossreferenced with others to form a 'map' or a spider's web of social contacts etc. You'd be staggered at how much they know about you. Sometimes, more then you even know yourself.

InsomniacAnonymous · 03/02/2018 00:53

I think this was great work by the police officer and the parents should be very pleased that it was done.

GrockleBocs · 03/02/2018 01:03

I agree that as community policing that's good work. People need to get a grip of their digital activity and understand the implications of abusing it.

Twillow · 03/02/2018 01:12

Bloody good idea.

HerRoyalNotness · 03/02/2018 01:29

I think it's a good lesson for people only to accept friends they know in person.

Dhs DD has 2000+ friends on her Facebook, idiotic if you ask me. I dread the day our DC are on social media.

bridgetoc · 03/02/2018 01:31

Jesus.......some mothers these days. Get a grip OP!

SwearySwearyQuiteContrary · 03/02/2018 01:36

I think it’s an excellent lesson for your DD. They don’t post, they publish and instantly lose control of the content.

southboundagain · 03/02/2018 01:37

Seems reasonable. Police can do things it'd be weird if an ordinary person did in order to keep people safe. In the student part of town where I lived, students were known as targets for burglaries as there tended to be a high concentration of electronics and fancy clothes in densely populated areas. There had been burglaries while people had been inside, because the doors were unlocked and burglars were starting to chance it. So the police went round people's houses one day and tried their front doors, then walked straight in and gave the students inside a lecture along the lines of "what if I had been an intruder?" The kids have just learned what happens if you leave your Instagram front door unlocked.

Original poster

questionzzz · 03/02/2018 01:52

Hi- All the responses are helping me articulate why I was uncomfortable with the police undercover (which I did NOT share with DD) : in the name of security and fear from sexual predators (who, from my non-expert understanding, are far more likely to operate in close circles of families and friends), young people are subjected to increasingly intense levels of policing (both literally, as in this case, also metaphorically), and scrutiny around their bodies and appearance, surveillance and anxiety. OK, I am hearing that most of you think it's good thing that a police officer went undercover, "caught out" the kids posting inappropriate pics of themselves, and told them off, that they were "saved" from sexual predators due to this. I dunno, I still feel a bit queasy about it, but it's interesting to hear so many people are supportive of this.

OP posts:

ellesbellesxxx · 03/02/2018 01:56

A teacher at my old school used to add students from a fake account (with parents permission) in order to say in the internet safety talk about would you add a stranger? Then say well you have! They wouldn't go through content although absolutely better a police officer

MorningstarMoon · 03/02/2018 01:57

I think it's an amazing idea! If the kids are sympathizing with the boy who was arrested then there's something wrong there.

safariboot · 03/02/2018 01:58

A local police officer made a fake instagram account impersonating a teen from a (different) local school, and sent "friends requests" to a bunch of students at the local high where DD goes. Some of them accepted, despite not knowing the person who had sent them the request- one of them being one of DD's friends.

This step seem reasonable provided the account is entirely fictional. It's morally very questionable if it's a real person the police office is impersonating - it could easily result in backlash for that innocent person.

So this officer saw what these schoolkids are posting on their (private) accounts. DD's friend posts a lot, including pics of herself in clothes showing cleavage. Apparently, according to DDfriend, the police officer subsequently approached her, told her that the pics were inappropriate

This oversteps the mark in my view. In general police are not allowed to go on "fishing expeditions", they are supposed to have reason to think a specific crime has been committed.

I think the police officer has taught the children a good lesson though - that the police will snoop on their private lives given the chance.

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 03/02/2018 02:00

I'm on the fence at the moment. I think the OP was written carefully, to imply that the police office was male, which had the desired effect - many posters assumed that was the case.

OP, have I missed this point upthread - did the school know what was happening/were they part of the experiment?

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