Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this police training action at DD(14) school really bizarre, bordering on inappropriate, or completely fine and normal?

140 replies

questionzzz · 02/02/2018 21:42

This is kind of preying on my mind.
A local police officer made a fake instagram account impersonating a teen from a (different) local school, and sent "friends requests" to a bunch of students at the local high where DD goes. Some of them accepted, despite not knowing the person who had sent them the request- one of them being one of DD's friends.
So this officer saw what these schoolkids are posting on their (private) accounts. DD's friend posts a lot, including pics of herself in clothes showing cleavage. Apparently, according to DDfriend, the police officer subsequently approached her, told her that the pics were inappropriate- these pics were subsequently deleted from the account. This happened to several students (dunno if just girls targeted, or boys too) On Thursday (yesterday), the officer addressed the whole school, told them about this instagram experiment, how dangerous social media was, talked to them about sexting and sending nudes and the fact that it is illegal at their age, told them how a boy two years above than them, super smart with a great future etc, had showed nudes of his gf to other boys and was now in prison, his whole life ruined before it started, on the sex offender's registry.

The speech seemed to have backfired, because as far as I can tell, the kids seem to have more sympathy with the boy in the police officer's story?

Anyway- the speech wasn't that bad if heavy-handed, and I'm all on board for training about social media- , but the whole instagram experiment thing? I can't seem to wrap my head around it. It seems- over-zealous? Right now, it's become a bit of creepy joke with DD and her friends- I heard them going through their accounts "ooo that one would be banned FOR SUUURE"

what do you think?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 02/02/2018 22:23

I think it's a brilliant idea.

In fact I wish they'd do something similar for adults, many of whom seem to have absolutely no idea about Facebook/Insta security settings, yet post tons of pics of their kids along with so much detail.

Sometimes they're the same people who complain about parents taking pics at school plays/concerts.

dailyshite · 02/02/2018 22:24

Oh the arrogance of youth.

'Oh my god, like. I can't believe they did that...that's, like, well out of order...oh my god....he's probably a pervert....oh my god....'

I think the intention was sound and sensible, they just didn't bank on delivering the information to a group of kids who can't believe that anything they do might be a problem. (not just yours to be fair OP - seems to be a common issue now)

Marcine · 02/02/2018 22:24

It's not an invasion of privacy - it's an illustration that none of this is private, if it's online, especially if you allow strangers in!

WorraLiberty · 02/02/2018 22:26

Missingstreetlife that's exactly the sort of attitude I think this whole exercise was aimed at.

The point is, if the kids took responsibility for their own social media accounts, they wouldn't have invited him to join them.

mineofuselessinformation · 02/02/2018 22:26

Entrapment? No.
Because the young people involved would have done what they did anyway.
It's a very good illustration of why you don't put anything on the internet that you wouldn't want your mum / granny / future employer seeing.

MammaTJ · 02/02/2018 22:27

In an ideal world, it would be the parents policing the teens social media, not the actual police. Great idea though!

If I thought I could get away with it, I would set up a fake account and friend all the local 11 year olds with FB, whos parents have no clue about their social media and what they do with it!

Allthebestnamesareused · 02/02/2018 22:30

So ok they had sympathy with the boy but now they know the consequences of passing on nude pics (classed as distribution of child pornography in the UK) too!

The exercise served it's purpose in showing that teens accept friend requests willy nilly with no actual thought as to who made the request!

ReanimatedSGB · 02/02/2018 22:33

Entrapment, abuse of power, manipulation of vulnerable teenagers. Definitely. Creepy fucker. This is not the way to teach kids about sexuality, consent and internet safety - they need to know about respect and kindness towards one another, and informed consent, and pleasure, not be publicly shamed like this.

Isadora2007 · 02/02/2018 22:35

My mate was a community policeman and they used to go round primaries taking about stranger danger type stuff. Right after his talk the kids would go out for lunch. His Colleague who had been out in the car during this talk would then go into to playground with some sweets and approach kids saying “I’m Adams dad, have you seen him? It’s his birthday and he wanted me to bring sweets to share. Do you want one? Can you come with me to help me find him?” And so on.

Despite the kids being told about this all being a no-no, most if not all the kids would go along with him, eat sweets etc.

meandmytinfoilhat · 02/02/2018 22:36

I think it's a great idea.

Spam88 · 02/02/2018 22:36

You make him sound like a pervert sitting there in his house at night looking through pictures of teens on Instagram. He was doing it in work :s there's nothing creepy about it at all. I think it's a great idea, makes it much more real for the kids than just being told that people on the internet aren't always who they say they are.

titchy · 02/02/2018 22:36

Sorry this is so off the wall and legally dodgy I don't believe it. It's Bollocks.

italiancortado · 02/02/2018 22:36

I find it bizarre that it took a police officer to point out to a 14yo that you don't post pics of cleavage on social media tbh. I mean where are her parents in all of this? Do they just not care?

As for what they are doing, it has absolutely highlighted the problems. But again, where are all the parents?

TrustNaeFuckerEver · 02/02/2018 22:40

I've heard of this being used to give a real life example to teenagers of exactly how they have NO idea of who they are adding.

It highlights how anyone can make a fake account and pretend to be someone they aren't.

(bet the ones who have those 'cool' selfies smoking a spliff are shitting themselves)

ConversationCoat · 02/02/2018 22:42

Were any boys involved? Sounds like they made it solely the girls' problem.

How about teaching boys not to view girls and their bodies as something to be shared with their mates, FFS?

Nicknacky · 02/02/2018 22:44

Why would you assume it's targeted at girls?!

WorraLiberty · 02/02/2018 22:46

How about teaching boys not to view girls and their bodies as something to be shared with their mates, FFS?

Did you miss the part about the boy going to prison and ruining his life etc?

TrustNaeFuckerEver · 02/02/2018 22:46

The speech seemed to have backfired, because as far as I can tell, the kids seem to have more sympathy with the boy in the police officer's story?

In that case they are idiots who shouldn't be on social media.

How can they have sympathy with a boy who shared intimate pictures of his girlfriend with his mates? Why would they think that is acceptable?

Originalfoogirl · 02/02/2018 22:47

Oh teenagers can be so stupid sometimes. “Ewwww, that’s creepy”. Yes, yes it is. So stop accepting friend requests from strangers and posting your cleavage online.

Great experiment and you should re-iterate this to your daughter and maybe she can explain it to her friends in a way they would understand as having the blatantly obvious put right in front of them clearly doesn’t work.

WorraLiberty · 02/02/2018 22:49

TrustNaeFuckerEver because they're immature 14yr olds with a hell of a lot to learn I expect.

Hence the police coming to the school to teach them what their parents should be teaching them.

Scaredofthegym · 02/02/2018 22:52

I think this is a great idea. If the police officer was doing it out of hours off his own back it would be unacceptable and weird but if he went in and addressed the whole school it's obviously all above board.

Mxyzptlk · 02/02/2018 22:54

It seems creepy and I hope the officer explained to the school, beforehand, what he would be doing.

I get that he was making a point, but the kids seem to have missed it.

Maybe if the "new friend" set up a meeting with one or more kids, then turned out to be an adult man they didn't know, it could have registered a bit more with them.

I think it should all be done with the knowledge and cooperation of the school, to avoid allegations against the officer.

Nicknacky · 02/02/2018 22:58

mxyzptlk You think it's creepy but then go on to say that he should have arranged to meet up with them to get the point across?!!

And you don't know that the school DIDNT know about it in advance.

ItsAllABitStrangeReally · 02/02/2018 22:58

I find it was that the.police are having to.do the job of parents.

When did parents decide to stop doing their job and why the hell aren't they policing their child's social media accounts themselves ?!?!

Heliophilous · 02/02/2018 23:00

IANAL but surely no teenager in the world ever actually went to prison for showing his mate a nude photo of his actual girlfriend which had been freely shared with him. I mean, there's got to be more to it than that, surely? Or it's just not true, in which case no wonder all the kids are rolling their eyes internally. I totally see that it's inappropriate, but prison? Really?