To not just rock up to a child’s party

[itsnotterrysitsmine]

DS1, just turned 6, on the walk home today drops that it’s xxxx (good friend of his in his class) birthday party today after school at local soft play. This is the first DH or I have heard about it. For context this is only the second party invite he’s had this year so to him it would be a bit of an event.

DS is adamant he’s had an invitation but hasn’t shown us, just given it back to the boy concerned & said he can go. He can describe the invitation, the date that’s on it (thought it was a phone number).

I’ve told DS we can’t go as we don’t know if his name’s on the party list, we’ve got no card or present, by the time we get changed & walk there we’ll be 30 minutes late for a 2hr party that he may not be on the list for meaning I’d have to pay £11 for him & ds2 to play for 1hr 30 minutes +any food & drink. Normally wouldn’t mind this (always pay for other DS to play if one’s on the party list & the other isn’t) but Given that he’s just screamed & shouted at me for pointing out to him that he should have shown us the invite etc so that we could have arranged things (like transport for one) & hit me it doesn’t make me feel inclined to rush around & drag a grumpy, under the weather 4 month old out for this.

So AIBU

My son who is 5 has insisted that he has been invited to parties including the venue and the time. Luckily in these cases i was able to ask the parents - turns out it was all invented. Most of them had birthdays that were 6 months away as it turned out.

Of course you feel sorry for him! He’s 6! Obviousiy he’s behaved out of character as he’s dissapointed. Sure it won’t happen again.or until he’s a teenager. My dh did have to go toe to toe with one of our dss aged 15! Funny enough over s party

We have had 5 kids and trust me your concern about his dissapointment shows you understand his character and you will guide him well.

The toe to Toe ds is now a great dad

You chat and forgive and tell them you expect better and generally it works out ok

Don't be beating yourself up OP- given circumstances nothing more you could have done

Dancergirl as school progressed I tended to get to know the parents of DC’s closer friends as they would have play dates, so I’d have their numbers and could check up on invites. It was those on the fringe that didn’t reply I wouldn’t bother with again. Once I shelled out £20 for a child who had told DD they were coming, but hadn’t heard from the parents, guess what they didn’t turn up and I lost the money. They weren’t invited again!

OP it’s early days with your DS, try to collect as many parents’ numbers as you can.