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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

If you have a DH/DP, do you like to sit and chill with them in the evening?

49 replies

CheapSausagesAndSpam · 02/02/2018 14:13

I'm just asking because I kind of don't!

DH and I get on very well...we do things together such as long walks and going on antique and junk shop binges....and to friend's for dinner etc but in the evening, after we've walked the dog and talked....after we've had dinner and talked....I.prefer to sit on my own!

I like messing around on MN or other sites or watching shit on Netflix.

We.always watch Rupaul's Drag Race if that;s on but other than that, my downtime is really MY downtime.

What about you and your other half?

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 02/02/2018 14:14

We usually spend time together in the evenings but I go to bed for a read/mumsnet before him.

Hisnamesblaine · 02/02/2018 14:20

I watch my programmes upstairs and npset on MN. He watchs boxsets downstairs. We occassionally watch a movie together. Friends say its unhealthy. Sometimes i agree. But i like my me time

MachineBee · 02/02/2018 14:23

I like to but he tends to spend his evenings on his laptop editing films he’s taken or prepping for his volunteering groups. We usually watch the news and weather together.

CheapSausagesAndSpam · 02/02/2018 14:23

I think it's healthy Blaine

OP posts:
InappropriateUsername · 02/02/2018 14:23

Some nights I'd love me time but majority I prefer to be close to him even if ignoring him on my phone. I love spending time on my own but my husband hates it and I feel bad sending him away. Between him and the kids though I do find it tough. I think wanting time alone is perfectly normal for a healthy relationship and I am very jealous of you.

LagunaBubbles · 02/02/2018 14:23

Yes we spend evenings together, but we maybe watch a programme and then I would be doing something different from him e., reading but we are still together to talk to.

GingerAndTheBiscuits · 02/02/2018 14:24

We always sit together in the evening unless one of us is out exercising/drinking. No tv upstairs so unless one of us goes to bed early it would feel a bit weird sitting in the dining room whilst he’s in the living room. The only time we’ve done it is if I’m using the sewing machine in another room!

LagunaBubbles · 02/02/2018 14:24

Thats when hes there in the evenings though, theres evenings hes working and its just me.

Shoxfordian · 02/02/2018 14:24

Yeah it is healthy to have separate interests

Redhead17 · 02/02/2018 14:25

Yes once kids are in bed we have a cuppa and a nice cake or biccies. Sometimes I run a bath and he sits on the edge reading the paper and we have a natter

Watch something on Netflix

WTFIsThisVirus · 02/02/2018 14:26

My DP always wants us to sit down together and watch something on TV. So we do that, but I'm getting bored. I'm trying to think of a way to tell him.id rather read or play cities skylines ...

Mol1628 · 02/02/2018 14:28

We usually watch something together first then we watch or read seperately. I need my space and love the quiet time. Also love it when we are all together as a family. It’s about balance.

SwarmOfCats · 02/02/2018 14:29

We sometimes do different things in the same room, but like to be in each other’s company whenever we can.

Whatever works for you, though. Every relationship is different!

Exiguous · 02/02/2018 14:30

Sometimes we do, sometimes we don't. A lot of the time he's away for work.

Been married perfectly happily for 20 years so I guess it's working.

BornInALighthouse · 02/02/2018 14:32

Sometimes we'll watch something together but generally we're separate in the evenings. I get a little talked out (we have a toddler) during the day so sometimes just pop my headphones in and potter away on the laptop.

DavidBowiesNumber1 · 02/02/2018 14:34

Most nights we're home together DH will be on the sofa watching films on the tablet and I'll be either in the kitchen or on the balcony watching tv programmes.
We aren't from the same country so prefer to view films, programmes etc. in our own language and that's a pain when you're sitting next/close to each other.
Sometimes I miss when we used to snuggle up together on the sofa at night but since we moved apartments 14 months ago we have a really uncomfortable sofa, plus we now have wifi so we just don't do it any more.
DH often asks me to sit with him but usually when Corrie or Emmerdale are on so I decline Grin

SproutsWithLiverAndOnions · 02/02/2018 14:36

I’m on here currently (obviously), and dh is pottering outside in the garden. I have a greenhouse and sewing as my hobbies,(but atm I can’t be bothered)
Later, we’ll get together (make a date on the couch as we call it), and watch music channels, soaps, anything else, just chilling and having a beer or 2.
It’s healthy to have separate hobbies and spend time together also.

RowenasDiadem · 02/02/2018 14:37

We sit together. DH watching Gold Rush or Celebrity Big Brother that he's recorded earlier and me constantly interrupting trying to tell him about the latest CF or Parking thread.

He does hit pause and indulges me but I don't think his heart is in a good CF thread.

vvviola · 02/02/2018 14:37

We try to sit down together around 9pm each evening - we make a cup of tea and watch something on tv. Sometimes IF I'm really not interested in what he is watching I will read or knit, and occasionally he will work on his laptop or go into the other room to play on the Xbox. But we spend s9 much time apart between work and running around after the kids that it is nice to try to sit down together in the evening.

It doesn't stop us having our own hobbies or going out - but if we are both in the house with nothing else happening we like to try to sit down together.

LearnFromThePast · 02/02/2018 14:37

We watch films or box sets together. We like spending time together but our work patterns are slightly different so we do get time on our own as well.

happymummy12345 · 02/02/2018 14:39

Dh doesn't get home until gone 11 when he's working (leaves in the morning). So on his 2 days off we love to spend time together, it's the only chance we get to.

amusedbush · 02/02/2018 14:41

He is a postman and is home much earlier than I am, especially if I've gone to the gym after work. I feel jealous that he gets all afternoon to decompress and do what he wants, and I only get a Saturday morning when he's working. He's just always there Blush

We tend to hang out and watch TV together until about 9.30pm, then I go to the bedroom to read or watch my shows.

earlylifecrisis · 02/02/2018 14:42

I like to be in his company to watch tv or read. But the reality is this only happens 1-2 times per Week as he's doing a part time masters and I'm a teacher so often marking or planning

rocketgirl22 · 02/02/2018 14:42

We always sit together and I would find our relationship would suffer for not having that time together. It is good to compromise on what to watch too. Sometimes I enjoy things I didn't think I would.

Don't you want to spend time talking to him and being together in the evenings?

petbear · 02/02/2018 14:45

It is healthy to have separate interests and hobbies, but a bit odd to not want to sit with him of an evening.

May as well not live together.