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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To miss my DD after she’s gone to bed

60 replies

Sohardtochooseausername · 01/02/2018 21:44

My DD is 5 and gets energy from an alternative source. If I could bottle what she runs on I’d be a billionaire. She was always ‘that kid’ who was climbing the bookcase or looking into people’s cupboards or running across the road.

I have always found her exhausting but amazing. By bedtime (which always seems to take 2 hours, no matter what I do) I can’t wait to see the back of her. But then about an hour later I totally miss her.

AIBU? Does every parent feel like this?

OP posts:
EfficiencyDeficiency · 01/02/2018 21:55

My dd is almost 7 and like this too.

She exhausts me but is so bloody entertaining, cute, witty and a little madam.

I love the bones of her but am always glad when it's time to sit down ( very rare for me, I have OCD and struggle to relax ) so I don't miss her as such but I do understand what you mean.

I check on her constantly to see if she's still breathing Blush and the same for 14yr old ds. Have always done it. Sounds crazy!

Sheeeesh · 01/02/2018 21:56

Nope. Love the bones of 'em by day. Love my and dh's time by evening.

NymeriaStark · 01/02/2018 21:57

DD is 2.5 and has very recently started sleeping through. Despite being on my knees after two years of no sleep, now I feel sad that it’s over?!

kaytee87 · 01/02/2018 21:58

I always go in and peek and 18mo ds sleeping. He's just so cute I want to pick him up for a cuddle but dh won't let me spoilsport

Lizzie48 · 01/02/2018 21:59

No, I don't miss my DDs when they're asleep. But then they're 8 and 5 and they're both very hyper in the evenings. DD1 doesn't get to sleep before 10pm mostly, so by the time they're asleep I'm just breathing a sigh of relief and enjoying the peace and quiet.

Original poster
Sohardtochooseausername · 01/02/2018 22:00

Aw Efficiencydeficiency that sounds totally understandable! They are your babies. I don’t check on her much but I always do at least once.

OP posts:
KimchiLaLa · 01/02/2018 22:02

I don't miss my DD once she's in bed (and she's now 4 months so I know I'll be seeing her in around 6 hours anyway) but I do miss her if I've left her with her grandparents, and they probably take better care of her than I do!

NellWilsonsWhiteHair · 01/02/2018 22:03

No. Mine is 5. Love him fiercely but always grateful for whatever bit of evening I can snatch for myself. Also don't miss him when he's at school/childminder, and usually haven't missed him when he's spent the night away from me. [heartless mother emoji]

I went away without him for three nights last October, the longest we've ever been apart. He was with my mum and fine, and I had a lovely time, but I was desperate to get back to him by the end of it. But if he's only been asleep an hour or two?! No way.

Brainfogmcfogface · 01/02/2018 22:10

Yes! Exactly the same op including the hours to get her to sleep. I’m glad I’m not the only one! I’ve said it to one person in rl and got serious Hmm
But I’m on my own so once she’s in bed and after the initial phew! feeling and a cuppa, I just end up feeling a bit lost/lonely with no one to talk to.

Earlyriser84 · 01/02/2018 22:11

Yes totally and i also spend a large part of the evening looking at the photos and videos !

I wouldn't though, if they kept getting up out of bed all night. Thankfully they are really good sleepers!

Original poster
Sohardtochooseausername · 01/02/2018 22:11

The weird thing is I went away for work last year for nearly a month and I didn’t miss her at all for the first 2 weeks. I suspect I am completely U.

OP posts:
Sallystyle · 01/02/2018 22:11

Hell no.

I never miss them when they are in bed.

As much as I love them that time is sacred.

Mind you, three of them are now up later than I am and the youngest two aren't exactly early birds no matter how much I try.

I miss the days of having them all sleeping soundly by early evening.

Neverender · 01/02/2018 22:15

Yep, every day... Smile

Mrstumbletap · 01/02/2018 22:25

Yes just this thread has made me miss my DS. He is just so lovely and brings so much happiness to my life.

I always go in to check on him every night kiss and cuddle him. They are so innocent and angel like when they are sleeping.

When do they stop being cute? 7? 8? 9? 14???

yorkshireyummymummy · 01/02/2018 22:27

I miss my daughter when she is at school.
I LOVE school holidays and just being with her.
There’s nobody in the world that I would rather be with.
I just utterly adore her.
And there hasn’t been a night of her life ( apart from a few sleepovers etc) where I haven’t gone into her bedroom at least once and checked on her. And she’s 10. I wonder if I will still be doing it when she’s 20Blush

Rachie1973 · 01/02/2018 22:28

Jeez I used to pray bedtime would come soon as I was so exhausted lol.

No, I didn't miss them in bed.

MammaTJ · 01/02/2018 22:28

I home educate my DD who is 'the duracell bunny on speed'. She is 12 and I think she will achieve great things, if she survives till adulthood! Grin

She is now talking about joining the RAF as soon as she can, and how she can achieve that. I had to hold back the tears at the thought.

I do still breath a sigh of relief when she finally settles in bed though! (she just has)

DixieNormas · 01/02/2018 22:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

comfortandjoy · 01/02/2018 22:32

I'm glad to read that people do this.
We are quite desperate for adult time at night which is getting shorter and shorter but when we finally go to bed I think we've recharged enough after a couple of hours without her and start talking about things she's done and going in to see her sleeping - as well as regretting not playing with her when she asked etc and feeling guilty.

mummmy2017 · 01/02/2018 22:37

Mines taller than me, and sometimes DD will go the loo and climb into bed with her mummy.

got to love a mummy's girl

LastOneDancing · 01/02/2018 22:37

At night I sneak in my DS bedroom and look at his plump, sleepy, little face with his perfect eyelashes and pouty lips and think 'ooooh he's so amazing, I'm going to wake him up for a cuddle!'

Then he stirs a bit and I recoil in horror, swear silently and ninja roll out the room.

starsorwater · 01/02/2018 22:39

By 25 they have stopped being cute.

Original poster
Sohardtochooseausername · 01/02/2018 22:40

Mrstumbletap my mum still says I’m cute. I’m 40.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sohardtochooseausername · 01/02/2018 22:41

Lastonedancing ooh I’ve done that.

OP posts:
SunnySkiesSleepsintheMorning · 01/02/2018 22:42

Yep YABU. I mean, those hours between their bedtime and mine are when I wind down. I need that time to stay sane (ish). Grin That said, I do admit to peering in at their sleepy little bodies in their beds because they’re just so perfect and gorgeous....when asleep.