To think that there is far too much emphasis on alcohol?

[MycatsaPirate]

It's wine o'clock. Kids playing up? have a glass of wine! Gin flavoured cheese, gin with fucking unicorn tears, prosecco everything.

I am not teetotal and I certainly had my time in my late teens when I partied hard every week and probably drank far too much at the weekends but right now it seems that drinking at home, every night is becoming the norm.

I see it constantly on here and on facebook and Instagram - photos of wine glasses, gin glasses and references to it being 'a hard day' and 'needing a drink'. Now I'm sure some of those are a one off but it seems that drinking daily, especially among women, is becoming more of a thing and it's really not very healthy!

When was the last time you had a drink? I actually can't remember but it was in December because I bought a bottle of Baileys and I think I had a glass or two on Boxing day.

Would anyone on here admit they might have a problem? I have seen a fair few people on facebook admit they were struggling to stay Dry in January and I think that's bloody sad.

I find these threads refareshing not smug

I made a decision 2018 is the year I address my alcohol dependence and so far it’s been a mixed success . But overall I feel so much better , and when I do drink I am curious about how shitty I feel the next day

We have completely normalised using alcohol for both stress and happiness - and given how high both emotions are I think that’s concerning !!

Only fools and arguably, horses, announce their NY resolutions to all and sundry on FB etc. One could argue only fools make such fleeting pledges to begin with as were they ready to make a change in their life, there would be no need to wait for the 1st of January.
Dry January is as daft as it sounds.

I'm pretty sure I drank at 15. Only in moderation of course but I always drank spirits. Don't like anything else even now but I hardly drink at all. I have maybe 3 or 4 if I go out of an evening, a couple and Xmas and new year and maybe an odd one during January and February using up the mixers. That's it.

Sounds to me that you're demonising alcohol to make yourself feel better about your own situation of being overweight.

I have a far bigger problem with food than drink, personally, but it's much better for me to focus on myself than judge and point fingers on others.

if you need alcohol to enjoy yourself, it's time to evaluate your life choices I think

Just like food? People who are overweight who need to eat when they are happy, bored or sad?

Honestly I don't get it , yes when I was younger and didn't have children I probably drank a bit too much and partied a bit much but once the kids came along nope I don't even keep alcohol in the house when the kids are about and I seriously Judge parents that drink round about there kids it's unhealthy and just horrible , we drink if we go maybe to the pub once in a blue moon , family parties etc but it's every few months not every week/weekend and not when the kids are around , this is a real middle class problem - we're not middle class we are working class!

I think threads like these really minimize actual alcoholism. By calling (or strongly suggesting) everyone who likes a drink, or even drinks more than the recommended units, an alcoholic you really downplay that actual severity of that disease. There is a massive difference between someone who likes a drink and someone who chooses a drink over all else.

"I wonder if it’s easier to drink less in warmer lighter areas like California. Dh and I definitely drink less in our summer, when we’re out and about doing things in the lighter evenings/days"

I find this too. If I'm in a warm climate in good weather, I rarely want to eat more than a cool, refreshing salad. Throw me into a howling November storm, and I really want pie!

I suspect everyone is different, but there is definitely a relationship between light-levels and appetite for me. I hate the dark for a whole host of reasons, including that it makes me hungry.

I agree. I drank a lot as a teenager but since I hit my twenties I've not been remotely interested. I do drink occasionally but I prefer a mocktail or just sparkling water or coke most of the time.

I don't like the feeling of being tipsy or drunk and I find I always feel like shit the next day because I never sleep properly.

I was raised by a mother who drinks a fair bit (but not dependent) and a tee-total father. I remember mocking my dad as a teenager when he stuck to water on nights out but now I'm exactly the same!

I grew up with functioning alcoholics.

Obvious alcoholics that walk around drunk with tins of special brew in the street.

Binge drinkers, big night out types of people that may only drink every week or few weeks but drink to huge excess and have a week or more recommended units in a night.

People that like a drink in the evening maybe a glass or two of wine, very much the wine o clock set.

There are some obvious differences on how society perceives these people. The third type of drinker is very much the socially acceptable type. This is the type that the op is trying to really talk about and is getting shut done because many people have this attitude to alcohol.

I think what the op and myself and a few share is the attitude that is if you cannot survive without alcohol for a few days at anytime during the year then you have issues with alcohol. Even if people are not getting drunk why do they need it to relax with it because it's basically self medicating.

I'm not teetotal

littlebunnyhop....... you stated that

...' I seriously Judge parents that drink round about there kids it's unhealthy and just horrible , ...'

Where do you thing childrel lean about responsible drinking? There's a massive problem in the UK with binge-drinking; ghastly sights of vomiting, staggering 'yoofs' on Friday nights is so commonplace, many said 'yoofs' think such behaviour it's the norm. Teenagers who neck cheap nasty stuff in copious quantities just because they suddenly can, do a lot more damage to their health and to the purse of the nation via clogging up A&E en masse.

Even if people are not getting drunk why do they need it to relax with it because it's basically self medicating.

As a former binge drinker now teetotal I am always impressed by those who can enjoy one glass of wine a night without necking the whole bottle. It does make me wonder why they bother though. Why have one glass of wine, what are you getting from it, why not have a soft drink and avoid putting ethanol into your body altogether?

And I can not understand binge drinkers or binge eaters for that matter. Why drink more than 1 or 2 glasses with dinner or a Gin&tonic after work? Who would want to get pissed regularly? That 1 drink relaxes me, makes me a tad jolly and I enjoy the taste of good wine/gin/whatever.
I could have a box of exquisite chocolates and have couple every evening with coffe.
Why binge, it takes away all the pleasure and enjoyment of flavours?

'what are you getting from it, why not have a soft drink and avoid putting ethanol into your body altogether?'

Because they like the taste of wine and don't care for soft drinks or a hot drink. Or they enjoy a glass or two with food and feel it compliments their food.

The Facebook stuff washes over me in the same way as anything else that some people like and I don't. Dogs, for example, or Take That reunions. I had a beer about 10 days ago. Before that, probably Christmas. I drank a lot every weekend before I had DD, but these days regular drinking just isn't part of my life. I would mind if people tried to make me drink when I didn't want to, but I'm fortunate that that doesn't happen. My friends know I like a drink sometimes, so if I don't, they accept that I must have a reason for it. Wine o'clock is as much a figure of speech as a real thing. It represents downtime. I prefer cup of tea and e-cig o'clock, but it's not as catchy.

"Why have one glass of wine, what are you getting from it, why not have a soft drink "

I haven't drank for nearly two years, because of illness, I miss a glass of decent red, or a cocktail at the Christmas Markets, a fruit filled sangria in the garden etc. Even If you haven't found an alcoholic drink that you really like, then there must b foods that you enjoy so should still get it. The soft drinks aren't at better for you, especially Coke, which has been mentioned.

" I can not understand binge drinkers or binge eaters "

They are two different things. Binge eating is about trying to find a cure for your emotions.

Drinking rates have risen, its not all for the best, but some of the posts on here have been ridiculous.

Who would want to get pissed regularly?

In my case, somebody who was trying to block out a traumatic past and who had very poor role models when it came to developing a healthy relationship with booze. Can't speak for everybody.

Because they like the taste of wine

The taste of wine or gin comes from the botanics and fruit that are added. That's what we enjoy. If we tasted alcohol/ethanol alone then we'd retch and be very ill. If we could get the same taste from a non-alcoholic drink why wouldn't we choose that over putting a poison into the mix?

Or they enjoy a glass or two with food and feel it compliments their food.

I'm not even sure how I would know whether a wine complimented a meal? I think for most of us this an idea we've been sold by the wine marketers.

Anyway, I don't want my tone to be misinterpreted. I'm not challenging anybody or judging anybody.

These are just questions I ask myself all the time in my effort to stay dry. I don't have the answers to these questions. I have a problem with alcohol. My parents were drunks and I don't want to live or die like them. I have a 15 year old son that I don't want to inherit the old family problem.

"Who would want to get pissed regularly?"

I am childless, I have many friends who are too.

My evenings basically involve going out for dinner, or to the cinema/theatre, or to someone's lecture or gallery opening or book launch, or to somoene's gig, or to a a whole host of other events with them that oftne involve alcohol during or afterwards. In addition to that, one of my closest friends is a DJ, so we'll all go along and have a great evening while he works. Sometimes, DH and I and close friends just go to the pub to chill out after a hard day - it's been a lifeline through building work recently, a warm, cosy place to get away from a freezing, rubble-strewn house. It's not every night of the week, but I probably drink 3 nights in 7, sometimes more at really busy times of year.

No way could I do this with children. And that's cool - I totally get that if you have umpteen afterschool activities and all sorts of other family richness, this probably wouldn't be for you. But it's a lifestyle I like and enjoy.

Love a glass of wine but hate being drunk and the after effects so don't take it too far. Not too much and not too often is the key, same with unhealthy food, same with anything really.

bluntness Your posts are verging on personally attacking me and you seem to think that my post is all about me feeling awful about my weight. Actually no, I don't feel awful about my weight. I am very slowly losing my excess weight, I don't overeat but I have had two major spinal operations in the last five years both of which left me bed bound for months at a time. On that basis I should have been eating nothing as I wasn't burning anything up but as I need to eat when I take my meds (15 tablets a day) then yes, I ate food made for me by dp. In that situation there was little I could do to prevent weight gain. Last surgery was a year ago and I am very slowly getting back on my feet and getting moving again but really need to be very careful or I end up stuck in bed for days again in extreme pain.

Perhaps your endless posts about me being fat are a defence mechanism because you drink too much? Or maybe not. I am not as judgy as you and certainly haven't resorted to making personal comments about anyone posting on the thread.

It's refreshing to see posts from others who have mostly given up drinking and find they feel much better. I certainly (apart from the cold I currently have - thanks DD2) have been extremely healthy and rarely pick up any bugs of viruses going about and on the thread about boosting the immune system, a few have said that giving up alcohol does help with general well being.

Binge eating and binge drinking are exactly the same. It's incredibly judgemental to look down on the other, which ever one you are. I've never binged eaten so i do bot understand it, but I have had many great nights out drinking lots. I'm also v fit and healthy, exercise and rarely get ill. I do think you post was judgemental.

*" I can not understand binge drinkers or binge eaters "

They are two different things. Binge eating is about trying to find a cure for your emotions.*

They are not two different things.

I recommend you type "binge eating binge drinking" into Google and see what you get (hint: lots of information about how similar the two are)

I think that in society as a whole there is a lot of hypocrisy and double think about alcohol. We need to be a lot more aware of how our attitudes are being manipulated by the drinks industry, not always that subtly.

DS is 19, and has been used to having some wine with us at meals since he was 16, he has been going out with friends to pubs and parties since he was 18, without mishap. He went off to university last September, and he told me that he was amazed, and sickened, by the relentless, utterly cynical marketing of spirits to students by the local supermarkets. Rack upon rack of cut price vodka, gin and whisky, this was in a small town where the university makes up half the population, and was aimed directly at students. When we first visited the town, all the local residents, and taxi drivers we spoke to expressed concern at how common it is now for students to get helplessly drunk.

Products like alcopops are specifically aimed at encouraging underage youngsters to start drinking younger, and boost the profits of the drinks industry.

We need to be more aware, and more judgemental, about the drinks industry, and less judgmental about individual drinkers.

'The taste of wine or gin comes from the botanics and fruit that are added. That's what we enjoy. If we tasted alcohol/ethanol alone then we'd retch and be very ill. If we could get the same taste from a non-alcoholic drink why wouldn't we choose that over putting a poison into the mix?'

Who is this 'we' you're talking about. You're talking about you and your personal preference. So say so instead of extrapolating across the population in order to make judgements on the choices of other adults. The taste comes from a blend of substances, hence, some people like a glass of wine with their meal or a G&T of a late afternoon and don't want a non-alcoholic drink. They are adults who can chose and don't see the occasional drink as 'putting poison into the mix.'

'Perhaps your endless posts about me being fat are a defence mechanism because you drink too much? Or maybe not. I am not as judgy as you and certainly haven't resorted to making personal comments about anyone posting on the thread.'

No, they're not. They're from you being incredibly judgemental yourself about people who drink alcohol. Your posts come across as making out that people who drink alcohol are far worse than those who are overweight/obese and seem a defence mechanism on your part to deal with your issues around your weight. Your posts are all very judgemental and self-righteous.

I don't drink much. Can't afford it, don't have time for it. But hey, that's must me. I live and let live. Life is much better when you're not wasting precious moments of it scolding others who don't behave the way you do. Try it! It's a great way to live.

Well said expatinscotland. My DH loves a good whisky, straight with no ice or mixes as he really enjoys the taste. No fruit added to that . I am always amazed at how many people fail to see beyond their own world and preferences.

OP your posts sound defensive on the weight issue and I notice you have your own reasons as to why you have overeaten. People are comparing that to your comments about alcohol as you are very judgmental in your tone of others yet unless you live a squeaky clean life then it comes across as if you are better than others that choose to drink. Live and let live.