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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hotel advertising their restaurant is within range of baby monitors

164 replies

Teakind · 01/02/2018 13:12

Hello,

I was looking at booking a short break in the UK and found a hotel along the south coast that offers 'baby breaks' as their rooms are close to the restaurant and so most baby monitors would work. AIBU to think this is odd and irresponsible?

I can see the argument that it's a small hotel and so the distance could be similar to being in your lounge and the baby being upstairs but it just doesn't sit comfortably with me. Any weirdo could also see parents sitting at a table with a baby monitor and know that there is a baby/child alone in a room somewhere.

Just interested to see what other people think and I do have a tendency to over worry!

OP posts:
nextDayDelivery · 03/02/2018 09:02

"5 year olds do not need their own space, how utterly ridiculous!"

Of course they do.

"Never out of hearing range" is utterly ridiculous.

We have a fair sized house. I'm working on the third floor and my 6 and 4 year old children are watching TV in the children's room on the ground floor. I can't hear a thing. My hovering around to make sure I can hear them at all times is stupid.

Isn't "always withing hearing range" the definition of a helicopter parent (and we all know how those children turn out)?

IkeaGrinch · 03/02/2018 09:13

Isn't "always withing hearing range" the definition of a helicopter parent (and we all know how those children turn out)?

Depends on the age of the child, surely. I’d be uneasy with being so far away from a young child that I couldn’t them calling for help if they were hurt or needed an adult’s help. That’s hardly helicopter parenting, it’s just being responsible.

Rumpledfaceskin · 03/02/2018 09:24

Would I be happy with my toddler out of hearing range awake? No, probably not. Would I be happy with a 6 yo out of hearing range? Yes probably. Would I be happy with my baby/toddler out of hearing range fast asleep with regular checks? Yes, perfectly. Would I leave them asleep in the car whilst I popped into somewhere to close by to run a quick errand? Yes I do this occasionally because it’s just not worth waking them up to haul them into a shop for 2 mins. I wouldn’t leave them awake, because it sets the car alarm off Grin. Everyone has different assessments of risk. And I do think there’s something to be said for slightly more relaxed parents. Personally the hyper sensitive/anxious parents I know have produced children that have become adults that have never thrived and are a lot less happy in life.

nextDayDelivery · 03/02/2018 09:42

@IkeaGrinch

The child in question is 5.

Lethaldrizzle · 03/02/2018 10:15

It's only through reading mumsnet that I realise what a slack parent I've been all these years. But oh, the fun I've had!

FruitCider · 03/02/2018 10:22

We have a fair sized house. I'm working on the third floor and my 6 and 4 year old children are watching TV in the children's room on the ground floor. I can't hear a thing. My hovering around to make sure I can hear them at all times is stupid.

I wouldn't call a 3 story house a fair size. I have a 2 story house, if I'm upstairs in the bath and my 5 year old shouts me I can hear them. If my 5 year old is in bed and I'm downstairs I can hear them walking to the toilet etc. No need to "hover around". If we go to the garage sometimes my 5 year old stays in the car as I can see them from the shop. Sometimes they want to come with me so I stand them next to me on the forecourt and explain how to put fuel in a car. Sometimes they want to play in their room on their own, that's fine too, I can hear them if they need me.

5 year olds however do not need to be left in a hotel room sleeping on their own whilst their parents go out for a meal. No child needs that level of space at that age.

IkeaGrinch · 03/02/2018 10:26

@nextdaydelivery

Then I’d trust the child’s parent to know how closely their child needs to be supervised. Some children that age might be fine in a safe environment with no adult nearby. Others might be better with an adult close enough to hear if the child calls out for help or does something unsafe. I don’t think it’s fair to imply someone is damaging their child for life just because they’ve made a call that the level of supervision their child needs is to have a adult within hearing range of them.

mrskitty15 · 03/02/2018 10:31

I would never entertain that idea, each to their own though.

HoppingPavlova · 03/02/2018 10:40

I think leaving them in another room in your house is very different. You know no-one else apart from your DH has keys/access to your house. God knows who has access to the room in the scenario described.

RowenasDiadem · 03/02/2018 10:43

I'd personally only be okay with it in a small B&B but as long as the rooms are lockable and you are close by (not across the street in another establishment McCann style) then I can't imagine there being much of a risk.

nextDayDelivery · 03/02/2018 13:34

@FruitCider - it sounds boastful to say 5 bedrooms (all ensuite), 5 reception rooms and a granny flat.

@Ikea - "I don’t think it’s fair to imply someone is damaging their child for life just because they’ve made a call that the level of supervision their child needs is to have a adult within hearing range of them."

I think it's fair to imply that and fair to think that. It sounds suffocating.

IkeaGrinch · 03/02/2018 13:41

@nextdaydelivery

Hang on. You were happy to leave an infant alone in a hotel room while you went out for the evening, something that organisations like the NSPCC caution against. But it’s the person who prefers to be within hearing distance of her young child who’s ruining their child’s life?

PiffIeandWiffle · 03/02/2018 13:48

Now, here was an example of a child disappearing from an unsupervised room but hey, that doesn't count because ....

Because they were unsupervised - a baby monitor is supervision.

Hope that helps..... Wink

nextDayDelivery · 03/02/2018 13:52

There hotel said baby monitors would work so fine IMO.

Don't put words in my mouth like "ruining their child's life". Quote me or not.

PiffIeandWiffle · 03/02/2018 13:54

Watch out for them there preverts folks - your babies aren't safe!!

Don't let the fact that most missing children leave home of their own volition (usually because of their parents) before never being seen again get in the way!

Woollypinksocks · 03/02/2018 13:57

I think it's a stupid idea.

There is a risk albeit small that someone could get into the room.

But what would happen in the event of a fire or fire alarm?

There must be a fairly small window of opportunity to do this because a toddler could get out of bed and wander around.

Yes the risk is small compared to other things we do everyday such as driving a car, but it's not a risk I'd take personally.

I think if you go on holiday with dc you should just accept that thy go with you unless you can get a proper babysitter.

IkeaGrinch · 03/02/2018 14:14

Don't put words in my mouth like "ruining their child's life". Quote me or not.

You said it was fair to think that a Mum was “damaging her child for life” if she thought an appropriate level of supervision was to remain within hearing distance of a five year old child.

It seems bizarre to me that people defend those who leave an infant unattended in a hotel room so the parents can have a meal, but attack parents who think it’s appropriate to stay within hearing distance of young children. Hearing distance! In most houses you could be in a bedroom upstairs and within hearing distance of a child playing in the living room. It’s hardly suffocating them!

Woollypinksocks · 03/02/2018 15:16

None said what would happen if there was a fire, or even a fire drill.

I can imagine chaos if lots of parents were rushing to retrieve babies from hotel rooms in an evacuation.

Ninoo25 · 03/02/2018 15:19

IkeaGrinch it’s because they’re tw*ts who think it’s ok to attack someone for taking sensible precautions around their children’s safety. I wouldn’t bother trying to reason with them if I were you, they’re clearly not interested in debate, NSPCC advice or anything other than their own opinions!

FruitCider · 03/02/2018 15:35

I'm still gobsmacked that people think this is ok. I was discussing this with DP yesterday evening, he's far more laid back than me and even he can't see how anyone would think that leaving a child in a hotel room to go out and eat/get drunk is ok.

strugglingtodomybest · 03/02/2018 15:49

It's only through reading mumsnet that I realise what a slack parent I've been all these years. But oh, the fun I've had!

This made me laugh and I agree!

LittleLionMansMummy · 03/02/2018 15:53

A point was made earlier in the thread about video baby monitors. I think this is a fair point. We've never had these and have always only relied on listeners in our own home. I suppose if we were going to leave our child in a hotel room (we still wouldn't) then I'd expect to use a video one instead. Do you think that would make a difference to your decision? Is it more acceptable if video baby monitors were used instead?

birdseye2010 · 03/02/2018 16:11

Honestly I think the risk of that happening is tiny. Risk of fire is probably a greater concern. But I agree I wouldn't use a baby monitor in a hotel

I have done it. And I agree, fire is the main threat. stranger danger is overblown, especially if there there is only one exit.

we take risks all the time, and I think we are all terrible at assessing risk, and having a scary story throws our assessment off big time. I imagine this isn't high on the list of danger.

birdseye2010 · 03/02/2018 16:16

God knows who has access to the room in the scenario described.

But you do know. People willing to steal a child or do something horrible to one are in fact rather rare. So not only would the hotel have to have such a person, they'd have to know your child was alone, and somehow get your child out of the room without detection.

Keep in mind your children are alone with adults EVERYDAY. That's statistically a much bigger danger. So, unless you are homeschooling, I'd say that's a bigger risk.

ChelleDawg2020 · 03/02/2018 16:19

Fire, bomb scare, someone threatening to jump out of the window - all could make it difficult or impossible to return to your room and retrieve your baby.

I don't think that using a baby monitor in a hotel is the same thing as using one at home. At home, you know who has keys to your house. While I agree that most child abuse is performed by relatives and family friends, it doesn't take much of a leap to imagine a paedophile taking a job in one of these hotels. Knock on a door, if no response let themselves in, cover the baby monitor and commit their crime. The parents may never know, as far as they are concerned their baby is sleeping peacefully.