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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DM adjusting heating when at my house

73 replies

Smarshian · 01/02/2018 07:03

My DM has my DD at my house one afternoon a week while I'm at work. Each time she comes she turns our thermostat right down while I'm out. DH doesn't always notice as when he gets in he puts DD to bed and then sits in the lounge which is on a different thermostat to the rest of the house. Each morning after she has been I get up and the house is freezing and then takes ages to heat up. It drives me nuts. I get home from work after midnight so go straight to bed and rarely notice.
AIBU in thinking that if you want to adjust the heating in someone else's house then you should put it back or mention it when you leave?

OP posts:
LittleLionMansMummy · 01/02/2018 09:32

She's looking after your dd. Perfectly reasonable for her to ensure she's comfortable with the environment in which she looks after her (providing your dd is not blue with cold of course).

Remember to turn it up again, or set a repeat reminder. This is such a non issue.

SunnySkiesSleepsintheMorning · 01/02/2018 09:57

You and DH both know she turns it down, so he should just turn it up before bed. This is such a non issue.

Hullabaloo31 · 01/02/2018 10:03

Just set the programme to do both? So cool whilst she's there and then clicking back on in time to heat the place for your evening?

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 01/02/2018 10:03

It's ONE day a week that the heating is turned down. Is there anything else your mum is doing that is getting under your skin? Because for the life of me I can't understand why you'd start a thread about this.

sleepyhead · 01/02/2018 10:43

If you're the only one that notices it doesn't seem to be a huge task to remember to check it when you come in and turn it back up. It would only take you two seconds.

LoniceraJaponica · 01/02/2018 10:46

"Just set the programme to do both? So cool whilst she's there and then clicking back on in time to heat the place for your evening?"

Not all central heating systems are that sophisticated Hullabaloo31. You certainly can't do that with ours.

Bluelady · 01/02/2018 10:50

Our system is the most basic you can get and you can certainly do that.

kaytee87 · 01/02/2018 10:54

@LoniceraJaponica your boiler doesn't have a timer? My boiler that was just changed was 29 yo and it even had a timer Confused
As op talks about having a thermostat I'd hazard a guess that she has a timer.

LoniceraJaponica · 01/02/2018 10:56

Our boiler has a timer and we have the heating on timed, but we can't set it to change the thermostat to different temperatures at different times of the day as well. Our thermostat is in the living room and can only be altered manually.

kaytee87 · 01/02/2018 10:57

But you could set it to switch off in the afternoon and back on for the evening? Which is all op would have to do here.

LoniceraJaponica · 01/02/2018 11:02

Oh yes. Our heating and hot water can be set to switch on and off up to 3 times in 24 hours. The OP was complaining about the thermostat setting, not that the heating was off.

SandAndSea · 01/02/2018 11:03

Set yourself an alarm on your phone to remind you to check it before you go to bed.

Then message your mum, "Hey, how come you keep adjusting our thermostat?"

It might be that she's adjusting it because she's too hot and then just forgets to tell you.

whiskyowl · 01/02/2018 11:16

Ask her to turn it back up.

Tell your DH to check when he gets in. Get him to set himself a reminder in his phone if necessary.

specialsubject · 01/02/2018 11:17

ask her to put it back before she leaves. Some people find that others keep their houses horrifically hot and stuffy.

Free childcare, eh?

MrsDilber · 01/02/2018 11:18

Maybe it's uncomfortable for her. I'd just remind DH to turn it back up.

Hullabaloo31 · 01/02/2018 13:50

Ours is pretty basic but it can manage that. Then the thermostat wouldn't need to be turned down. Even a new thermostat would be cheaper than paying for childcare

user1483644229 · 01/02/2018 13:55

You talk about her like she is a stranger “in some else’s house” - you are her daughter and she should feel comfortable in your home particularly as she is looking after your child I presume for free. You are sounding really ungrateful and unkind.

babyccinoo · 01/02/2018 13:56

Ask her to put it back on before she leaves or put a reminder on your phone to do it for that evening each week.

Dazedandconfuzzled · 01/02/2018 14:04

She's too hot so she turns it down which I think is fair as she is looking after your child. She then forgets to change it back. Have you mentioned it to her or just moaned behind her back? Have you asked your dh to check it when he gets home? So easily solved. I can't stand hot houses they set my sinuses off and I end up with a blocked nose and a headache so if I was at someone's house alone once a week I would alter the temp too tbh.

WTFIsThisVirus · 01/02/2018 14:11

I don't think it's worth mentioning. You or your OH just need to remember to turn it back up

Jobjobjob · 01/02/2018 16:07

Where are you OP?

LoniceraJaponica · 01/02/2018 18:20

Do you think she has been out off by our sensible answers? Grin

LoniceraJaponica · 01/02/2018 18:21

put off

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