To think that £20 for a night of babysitting is ridiculous

[Holly102]

My DD (who is 16) babysat for a local mum, I have known for a few years from my DS’s school.

She asked me, on Monday, if my DD would do her a massive favour and babysit for a couple of hours on the Tuesday as her usual babysitter had cancelled last minute. She offered to pick her up and drop her back as it wouldn’t be late . She told me it would be 7 until 9.

So yesterday evening DD was collected at around 7. I texted her at 9 asking if she was on her way home but she wasn’t so I told her to message the mum. No response.

At quarter to eleven my daughter gets a message apologising but does she mind if she stays until around 11:30. It was a Tuesday night, DD is 16!!!! My DD, being young, felt she couldn’t say no.

This is not the end of the story though, the mum finally arrived home at 12:30!!! Far from the 9 o’clock first agreed. She apologised profusely but the proceeded to pay DD only £20.

Is this completely unfair behaviour. Is £20 what my daughter should expect?

Locally, teenagers seem to charge between £5.50 and £6.50 an hour. The sitter who I use most often is 16 and charges £5.50, she is great with the kids and very reliable. When I babysit, I usually charge £7.50 per hour but I have several years' experience in education. I do a daytime weekly sit for one family who insist on paying me £8.50 per hour. They moved here from London so I guess prices are higher there.

The rate and time should have been agreed in advance (I never agree to sit or confirm a new sitter without checking rates) and neither should have been deviated from without good cause.

I think the coming back so late is a bigger deal than the amount paid but your daughter should have discussed her rate.

Central London here - my DCs are usually paid £6 per hour once the children are in bed and £7 per hour when they are actively supervising - eg cooking tea, supervising homework, bathing and getting to bed. Sadly the idea of giving them snacks or a meal seems to have gone out of the window - I normally send them with a pizza. I have never had a parent more than 40 minutes late and then they phoned me as well as my dd to say they were having trouble finding a taxi.

A price should have been agreed. A deadline for 11pm for a 16 year old on a school night. She was given far too much responsibilty. An adult would charge £10 an hour. A teenager should only be left in charge for a couple of hours in my opinion and the children should be settled in bed. She is not a trained child carer/first aider etc

The big issue is the timekeeping. She mustn't sit for them again. That is really important.

She should have agreed either an hourly rate or a total rate for the evening BEFORE agreeing tondo the job. And whatever was agreed should have be paid at the hourly rate for all the hours worked, if that was the case, and if the deal was a fixed rate until 9, then extra should have been offered when she was late home. Not agreeing it in advance makes it impossible to really say if it was wrong,mas there was no agreement.

I guess what people are answering is a different question. Is £20 reasonable to babysitting for X hours?

In answer to this, there will be locally accepted rates which differ significantly by area. Babysitters who are teenagers don't usually get the equivalent of minimum wage or the wage they would earn in a shop. £20 for a mid week evening would usually be perfectly fine in most areas. It would also be fine for the long hours in many areas as well.

I think in the circumstances of the 3 hours lateness which was mid week, the parent really should have offered a significant extra to the sitter, because their lateness was unreasonable. However, I think the OPs DD has no comeback here because no agreement about payment was made in advance. She can express her displeasure about the lateness of return and say she won't work for them again. And she can learn the lesson of making an agreement in advance.

She was treated badly, but on the financial side there is no real comeback on this one. The parent behaved very badly about the hours, but £20 in itself wasn't necessarily an outrageous payment.

By 10, I would have called the mum myself and told her to get home. If she was uncintsctsble, I would call the police

What on god's green earth do you expect the police to do? That really does take the biscuit

OP don't contact the mom about it. If your DD is old enough to be responsible for 2 kids, she shoulden't need her mom to sort this out

I agree the mom totally took the piss though. A bit with the money, a LOT with the time

Jeez, I think I might have to get into babysitting! I'm a fully qualified nursery nurse with 20+ years experience working full time in a nursery and I get paid £7.60 an hour....then they take tax and NI off me goes to look for babysitting jobs ;-)

I'd out her. Loudly and in front of others. But I'm a bitch. Totally out of order.

My eldest son is 22 and when he was about 7/8 we had a teenage boy who babysat for us, oldest of 5 and Mum TA at son’s school. They were always in when he came. They stated he was £4.00 an hour but I always rounded it up! Then when younger two now 13 & 11 we’re smaller the babysitter was £6.50 an hour she was an older teen 18/19. Again I always rounded up!
For 5.5 hours (7-12.30) even at £5.00 an hour this would be £27.50, which I would have rounded up to £30.00. The fact that she was that late I would have given an additional 5/10 pounds making it £35/40.
You could ring/text and say sorry you didn’t have enough change when daughter babysat. Her fee is £5.00 (whatever you decide) an hour so she is short £7.50....but do you want to bother as the CF won’t be happy!

cheeky cow!!

And I will say too that many teenagers work for low amounts. I know people who have arrangements with teenagers of a flat rate of £10 for an evening of sitting. These are often fairly young. I don't consider it exploitative at all because the parents of the sitter and the sitter are happy with the arrangement. They sit and do their homework or watch TV while the children are in bed and have an understanding that if there is a real problem, they will call on their own parents down the road. Everyone is happy - the parents have a sitter and it doesn't cost the earth and the young sitter has £10 extra for spending, which they are very happy about. Perhaps they will be able to sit further afield and for more money in future.

Some sitters charge £10 per hour. Some agencies who provide sitters charge £15 per hour. Some people pay their sitter £5 for an evening. There is no set rule or absolute 'right' answer. Everyone involved needs to be happy and to be clear in advance about the deal. No one is being forced to have a sitter or to work - as long as this is the case, then above or below £20 can be normal and acceptable.

She was paid about £3.64 an hour.
Her time has been undervalued, and the coming back late on top of that is not fair.

£7 an hour here ( south east) and happy to pay that as I am paying a sensible teenager with first aid training who is not “ just being paid for watching television “ but temporarily responsible for protecting and caring for most precious child. I get that rates may be different where no London weighting etc, but frankly if your willing to pay a cleaner etca certain rate then surely your child is as/ more important? ( not dissing cleaners who work bloody hard but pointing out rather more responsibility genuinely caring for living human being than taking care of carpets/ bathrooms). Lots of babysitters round here will also do ironing etc if asked. £20 for the night is a total rip off - but a lesson learned to make charges clear first.

The OPs DD cannot return to ask for 'more' money because an amount was never agreed about what she would be paid for the original hours agreed. It is no good telling the parent that the hourly rate is whatever AFTER the event. She placed herself regarding payment, totally at their mercy because nothing WA S agreed. They could have turned out to be hugely generous and given her £100 or possibly given her £5. All she could have said is ' this seems rather low' to express disappointment, but she wasn't entitled to any given or set amount because nothing had been agreed. Lesson learned hopefully.

OP has a right to be outraged at the lateness of the return. She has a right to feel her DD was meanly paid, but not that she was cheated of money because no agreement was made to be cheated on.

Sorry to be so.dim but what does cf and cfs stand for?
Thank you

My DD is 17 (started when she was 16) and gets £5 an hour (for most-one pays more but thats for after school.
We are also in SE.

Some jobs easier than others but she enjoys babysitting.

OP I do not think you should speak to the Mum.

This is your DD learning responsibility and it is her job to manage. Having said that I think it was terrible of them to be so late.
But not fair to your DD trying to have a job if you is getting involved in the arrangements. It is undermining of her position.

Rates round her 7 to 8 an hour for teens and 10 for adult with more after midnight.She should have been messaged to ask if ok to stay after 9

Di agree this was a horrible thing to happen, but it's a learning experience for DD and also for OP.

DD knows now that she needs to be clear about payment in advance. She also needs to be clear what her latest time is for week nights and the weekends.
Most parents wouldn't be 3 hours late for a teenager mid week. The DD was unlucky in experiencing this. If she'd agreed an hourly rate in advance, she would have been able to insist on 3 hours extra money for the lateness. As she hadn't, she couldn't.

Horrible experience, but all part of learning how to make agreements In advance when babysitting or doing any work. That's valuable in itself.

Let’s put the money aside for a minute

How the hell did this mother think it was acceptable to allow a 16 year old to wait until 12.30am full well knowing that she would have had school next day

Next time she asks tell her where to shove it

If people are saying £5 an hour is right, then the daughter has been underpaid. The mum didn't return until 12.30am. 7pm to 12.30am is 5.5 hours. Therefore £5ph is £30 (because she went into the 6th hour)

I cannot believe what I am reading!
In Surrey it’s £10ph.
That CF owes your daughter a lot more money and a large apology!

I really cannot get over that cheeky bitches nerve

a massive favour and babysit

IMHO this is your (and DD's) mistake. It's not a 'favour', it's a job. An hourly rate should have been agreed beforehand.

For people saying babysitters are being paid to sit on the sofa watching TV, no, they're being paid to keep things under control if the children are naughty, and to do the right thing if a child falls ill or there's a disaster. With that in mind, while I wouldn't expect it to be highly paid, maybe don't be a complete miser either?

And a reminder to other posters: £20 for 7-12:30 is £3.64 an hour.

For unarranged late hours on a school night I'd say that's miserly in the extreme.

What are you hoping to achieve by speaking with "the mum" OP? Is it more money?

If it isn't, then I think she'll get the message when you don't agree to your daughter babysitting again the next time she calls you.

That is not a reasonable amount I bbsit and get 10an hour.

£5 per hour and £10 per hour after midnight. Extra on top if late.

The Mum hasn't done herself any favours because she won't get that babysitter again and will have to look for someone else.