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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that £20 for a night of babysitting is ridiculous

273 replies

Holly102 · 31/01/2018 20:42

My DD (who is 16) babysat for a local mum, I have known for a few years from my DS’s school.

She asked me, on Monday, if my DD would do her a massive favour and babysit for a couple of hours on the Tuesday as her usual babysitter had cancelled last minute. She offered to pick her up and drop her back as it wouldn’t be late . She told me it would be 7 until 9.

So yesterday evening DD was collected at around 7. I texted her at 9 asking if she was on her way home but she wasn’t so I told her to message the mum. No response.

At quarter to eleven my daughter gets a message apologising but does she mind if she stays until around 11:30. It was a Tuesday night, DD is 16!!!! My DD, being young, felt she couldn’t say no.

This is not the end of the story though, the mum finally arrived home at 12:30!!! Far from the 9 o’clock first agreed. She apologised profusely but the proceeded to pay DD only £20.

Is this completely unfair behaviour. Is £20 what my daughter should expect?

OP posts:
WhyteKnyght · 31/01/2018 21:10

And yes, how did your DD get home in the middle of the night? I hope she wasn't left with a choice between a lift from a woman who'd been out on the piss or paying for a taxi out of her £20?

MarthaArthur · 31/01/2018 21:11

I find the money babysitting debate so strange. A teenage baby sitter has no skills or qualities. They are not legally employed with a contract so it is purely down to parents discretion what they pay them. Regardless of who pays what. I was paid anything from £10 to £35 for a full night when i babysat for many years and yes some parents take the piss. I once babysat in the middle of nowhere for a couple with a horrid vicious dog that was trying to bite my face i had to lock it outside. They were due home at 12. Didnt see them until the next day.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 31/01/2018 21:12

£20 is actually reasonably sorry. BUT pissing her about with the time, especially on a school night in year 11 is not.le!

This ^

To make your daughter - on school night - to do more than double the time she agreed to is despicable!

If they'd crashed their car/ had a heart attack/ been abducted by aliens -
fair enough, can't be helped - but to DELIBERATELY take advantage of a young girl is disgusting!

What would that woman have done if your DD had said - "Sorry, no. I have to go home at 9.00 pm. You'll have to shift your selfish fat arse come home, because I'm leaving come Hell or High Water" (I know she wouldn't have left two young children alone, but, "what id . . . ?).

She should have at least doubled what she gave.

Curtainshopping · 31/01/2018 21:12

Why is everyone going on about £5 an hour? She was paid £20 for five and a half hours which is around £3.60 an hour.

pilates · 31/01/2018 21:13

Ages 6 and 10 you don’t need to put them to bed, they do it themselves. I would speak to the mum about being much later than the agreed time.

UnicornRainbowColours · 31/01/2018 21:15

I’m a nanny I charge 10 pounds an hour.

Voice0fReason · 31/01/2018 21:15

I used to pay £5 per hour in London

Original poster
Holly102 · 31/01/2018 21:15

Yes the OH stayed at home whilst my daughter was dropped back.

When it got to 11 I was very close to ringing the mother to demand an explanation. However DD begged me not to (I think she was hoping for a tip!!!) as she thought that it looked bad on her.
I am definitely going to have a chat with DD about her handling of situations to try and help improve her confidence in being assertive.

OP posts:
CassandraCross · 31/01/2018 21:15

I'd say £20 is not enough the minimum should have been £25 with an extra £5 for the lateness.

Ask for more money on behalf of your daughter, OP, my mum did it for me once and I've done it also. Your daughter was taken advantage of not just by being underpaid but by the extra hours, I don't believe for one minute that the woman wasn't going to return at 9.00.

SweetMoon · 31/01/2018 21:16

£20 was reasonable. Coming back late wasn't. I wouldn't say anything but wouldn't let dd babysit there again.

mishfish · 31/01/2018 21:16

I wouldn’t be happy.

She really took the piss with the time. I honestly think if I was the mother I’d be mortified and added an extra £10-£15 on top as a small apology

CassandraCross · 31/01/2018 21:17

sorry that should say was going to return at 9.00, she always planned to stay later.

namechangedtoday15 · 31/01/2018 21:19

I would expect to pay £5 an hour to a 16 year old, and always round up to full hours. So she should have been paid £30.

  1. £20 is unreasonable
  2. Not letting your DD know well before the text that she was planning on being later than 9pm is unreasonable.
  3. Putting a 16 yr old in the position of having to agree to a later time by text is unreasonable.
  4. Then coming in an hour later (at 12.30am) on a school night is bloody ridiculous.

So depending on whether you wanted to maintain a friendship or not, I'd be saying politely that she was out of line.

Whether you tell her that or not, my DD wouldn't be sitting for her again. Angry

Rachie1986 · 31/01/2018 21:19

We pay £5 hour. SE as well. But agree when we'll be back and stick to it.

Doobydoo · 31/01/2018 21:20

I wouldn't let a teenager babysit my children. And £20 shows how much they value they place on someone being responsible for them.

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 31/01/2018 21:20

pilates my DC are those ages.

10yo puts herself to bed, 6yo still likes to be carried in, and tonight fell asleep in our bed and had to be moved.

Singlebutmarried · 31/01/2018 21:21

We do £6 an hour and £9 an hour after midnight. And then still round up to the nearest note.

Our babysitter is awesome tho.

NewYearNewMe18 · 31/01/2018 21:21

£4.05ph is the minimum wage for a 16yo.

Baby sitting is a pocket money job, not a career. If you think your daughter should be paid child minder rates, then best she crack on with her L3 NVQ and get liability insurance.

The hours however were ridiculous for midweek.

NashvilleQueen · 31/01/2018 21:21

Minimum wage for an adult over 25 for 2018 is £7.83. I can’t imagine why you would pay a 16 year old £10 or £12 am hour unless maybe you’ve five children under five and it’s a nightmare gig. Some of you are effectively paying upwards of £60 which isn’t realistic for the majority. Anyway most 16 year olds will be on their phone eating your biscuits and happy with £20 for the night.

I do think that the issue here is being so late having said it was only a couple of hours.

Appuskidu · 31/01/2018 21:22

What have you said to the mum, OP?

g1itterati · 31/01/2018 21:22

No way, I would be livid! 16 or not, if she's old enough to be responsible for children, she is old enough to be paid the going rate. I pay £10 per hour, regardless of age.

Aside from this, expecting a school age child to be up until 12,30 is criminal. If that was my daughter I would have sent an uber for her at 9pm and then gone and babysat myself and let the woman know in no uncertain terms that this is outrageous and selfish behaviour.

gillybeanz · 31/01/2018 21:22

I think the money was fair enough tbh, but she should have said what time she would be back.
babysitting round here for 2 hours 7pm - 9pm would have been a tenner at most, some only charge £8

lalalalyra · 31/01/2018 21:23

The £20 is utterly unreasonable if they offered her £20 to babysit until 9. That's a pisstake.

One of my DDs does a lot of babysitting and I don't allow her to babysit for people who take the piss with time. On a school night I'd be livid.

ILoveDolly · 31/01/2018 21:26

£20 is not enough. I pay £5 an hour before 10 and £7.50 after 10 besides my regular babysitter won't do after 11 on a school night and I blame her, she has college. It's totally unacceptable to agree an early end time then arrive home three hours late and offer no monetary recompense. CF!

ILoveDolly · 31/01/2018 21:26

I DON'T blame her