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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that DS is capable of babysitting until 2am.

52 replies

splodge2001 · 31/01/2018 17:42

I am thinking of modifying the current babysitting arrangements (DS 16 DD 8) which consist of DM babysitting with 12am curfews. These never work well if we want to go out dancing and we either return just after 12am - grumpy or later with a grumpy DM.

I was thinking of asking DM to babysit until 12am and then leave, leaving a couple of hours for DS to be asleep in bed, theoretically "in charge". I would of course tell DS and make sure he knew what to do in an emergency. We live in a block of flats in Central London so would brief him.

Is 16 old enough?

OP posts:

MrWasheeWashee · 31/01/2018 17:44

Do you think it's ok? I'm inclined to say if you were 100% sure you wouldn't need to ask, and if you're not 100% sure then you probably shouldn't do it because you'll kick yourself hard if something went wrong.

trevthecat · 31/01/2018 17:47

At 16 I used to look after my younger sister (4 At the time) when my mum went out. If you think he is mature enough then I would. Many people used family friends teens to babysit

BendingSpoons · 31/01/2018 17:48

If DS os ok to babysit, why does DM need to be there until midnight? I would have thought either she is there the whole time or leaves once DD is in bed. 16 is fine if you and DS and DD are happy with it.

ThePants999 · 31/01/2018 17:50

Yes, IMO.

scrabbler3 · 31/01/2018 17:50

I thought the babysitter was going to be 14 when I read your title. I think that 16 is fine, as long as you're sure he won't bring a bunch of friends home. I was babysitting regularly for my neighbour at 15/16 - usually until about 11pm but until 1am sometimes, once we'd established a good working relationship. I was a night owl.

PotteringAlong · 31/01/2018 17:51

16? That’s fine. People can have their own children at 16!

Floralnomad · 31/01/2018 17:53

I agree with the pp , if he’s ok in charge from midnight then he should be ok for the whole evening , in reality it depends on how sensible he is and how well he gets on with his younger sibling .

FrancisCrawford · 31/01/2018 17:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Greensleeves · 31/01/2018 17:56

I'd pay DS to do the whole evening, leave your mum out of it.

Mousewatch · 31/01/2018 17:58

At 16 I was out dancing until 2am so I'm sure he's ok to babysit.

Flisspaps · 31/01/2018 17:59

At 16 I babysat 2 babies under 1 overnight.

There are 16 year olds with their own babies.

Surely your DS can manage the odd few hours unattended when he and DD are asleep?!

Original poster

splodge2001 · 31/01/2018 18:00

There reason for DM to be there until midnight is to ease the situation in and get DD to bed on time. Eventually we will just leave him babysitting but he is still quite young and inexperienced. I'm ashamed to say that he doesn't know how to boil an egg! By the time they are both asleep all I need is for him to wake up in case of a fire. Or should I make him stay up?

OP posts:

blackteasplease · 31/01/2018 18:15

I don't think he should do it unless you feel able to trust him with the whole evening.

Why don't you? Will dd not do as he says? Woll he not take responsibility?

If she wakes up needing something between 12 and 2 will he deal with it readily even If he is woken?

blackteasplease · 31/01/2018 18:16

And he need to learn basic cooking skill anyway for life. So now might be a good time to teach him if paid babysitting is on offer.

Birdsgottafly · 31/01/2018 18:24

It's him having mates in and the word getting out that there is an empty flat to sit off in that would be the issue for me.

Is he is very confident and would phone you/your DM if it was gatecrashed?

Trinity66 · 31/01/2018 18:25

I used to have a baby sitting job at 16

waterrat · 31/01/2018 18:31

At 16 I was allowed to go clubbing and rock up home at 6am. Of course a 16 year old can be responsible in a home!

Use this as a way to teach basic life skills.!

Nanny0gg · 31/01/2018 18:36

Eventually we will just leave him babysitting but he is still quite young and inexperienced.

Well, there's your answer.

Thistlebelle · 31/01/2018 18:40

I used to babysit other people’s children till 2am at 16.

Start training him up.

At 16 (and at 8!) he should be able to boil an egg.

He should be responsible enough to put sibling to bed.

Start small, going out for a few hours and build up to it.

Idontdowindows · 31/01/2018 18:41

Why not have your mum put the youngest to bed and then go home and leave the oldest in charge? 16 is fine for babysitting :)

FluffyWuffy100 · 31/01/2018 18:46

Granny does bedtime routine with DS then goes home. Try the a few times then leave DS in charge for the full evening.

FluffyWuffy100 · 31/01/2018 18:47

Also get your and DHs ass into gear and teach your lumbering 16 year old (and the 8 year old) some basic life skills

FrancisCrawford · 31/01/2018 18:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

stickytoffeevodka · 31/01/2018 18:51

I would think the majority of 16 year olds were capable of watching an 8yo for a few hours and putting them to bed.

I would leave your mum out of it and pay your DS for the evening instead.

alpineibex · 31/01/2018 18:51

I think 16 is OK for babysitting an 8 year old, as long as he is responsible and not going to invite his mates around and all that...

I remember my aunt babysitting my little brother one time... She was completely irresponsible and he ended up awake late at night skipping through TV channels. He ended up watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre and was found behind a sofa, very upset.

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