To ask him not to do this in bed?!

[Finla]

My DH comes to bed after me most nights (late, prob midnight), gets in, switches his iPad on which shines in my face and invariably wakes me up. When he does it's always my fault for 'not being on my own side' which I think I am but all I know is that I went to bed, I fell asleep and now I'm awake. Probably due to him getting in, the iPad being on and him shuffling around. It's getting to the point that we're really snapping at each other. AIBU or is he? Any advice on how to deal with it?

I think if you share a bed then you can't have any gadgets, lights or noises in bed. So yanbu.

The alternative is wearing and eye mask and ear plugs I guess.

Buy a queen size bed.

My husband uses his iPhone flashlight to look for his book/kindle. It’s like being woken by the Stasi before being bundled into a van - I hate it!

I've considered the Queen size option!

Don't get me started on the iPhone torch, I felt like giving him a good shine of that this morning at 5am after I'd been up with 6 month old DD who is poorly

YANBU. DH has done this in the past and it drives me mad. If someone is asleep, you shouldn't be using any gadgets.

He's being a twat.

Tell him to look at the ipad before bed.

Or do what my DH and I do if the other is asleep. Look at your phone instead with your back turned so your body blocks out the light.

Can you ask him to put it on night mode before he comes to bed? Must less dazzling and better for him too.

he's being a selfish dick...

No that's really not on.

If you share a bed - it's got to be the rule that if someone is sleeping in there you don't fucking disturb them deliberately.

Bottom line - he can read his ipad downstairs. You can't bloody sleep downstairs. The bed is FOR sleeping.

New rule needed - or just say fine, got to be separate rooms. Or you sleep downstairs, if part of your sleeping routine involves lights, movement and fussing around.

My DH watches vids on his phone - I simply used an eyemask and that worked. He got a Nintendo Switch and was playing that the other night but the clicking buttons drove me mad so that's now banned from the bedroom!

Best to have a rule - no electronic gadgets in the bedroom.
If he won't agree, start sleeping in another room if this is possible.

It's not unreasonable to expect to not be woken deliberately.

Sleep deprivation is a killer.

He sounds like a pain...but until you can get him to cop on, does he have the night mode switched on? It's a softer, darker light which shouldn't have the same effect on you.

Separate bedrooms?

He’s being selfish and you’ll have to make some noise about it. To carry on doing something that disturbs your partner when they’re sleeping makes a person a twat of the highest order.

Ipad is too big for bed. A smartphone, on night mode (brightness right down to 20%), if he really must.

He's a selfish prat!
No consideration or respect for you and doesn't want to compromise...
just happy to disturb your sleep.
Unfortunately being woken like that every night is not good for you.
Ban him and his gadgets from the bedroom if he's getting arsey about it.

This would seriously piss me off! Very selfish, waking you up on purpose. Tell him to keep his iPad downstairs

A kindle Paperwhite is not so bright (I sometimes read mine if I can't sleep though DH does also sometimes complain).

Ask him how he would like being woken up on a regular basis, and offer to help him find out if he doesn't know! You have young DC ffs, it should be obvious sleep is precious

Have you and he talked about it properly (as in not when it happens and you're both tired and cranky) and if so does he not see that it's unfair to be waking you, especially as you have a 6 month old baby?

DH had to leave at 5 a.m. today.

He laid out his clothes the night before, used his vibratey wrist alarm, snuck downstairs silently to get dressed... and then let the dog upstairs to leap on my chest because 'it wasn't very happy being downstairs on its own'.

A UK standard queensize bed is SMALLER than a double. Unless you're suggesting two queensize instead of one double!

UK goes single-queen-double-king-superking.
US goes single-double-queen-king-superking.

What a rude plonker! You don't use any light in the bedroom if the other person's asleep [bangs gavel]

Separate beds (or rooms if possible). Sleep is important. My DH knows he is only to wake me up if the house is on fire, or other emergencies, and I extend the same courtesy to him.

Some of the stuff in your OP makes me wonder if it could be a controlling behaviour? It's worrying if so.

YANBU, why can't use it before he comes to bed?