To be embarrassed about my home ??

[Lillylou22]

I live in a small 2 bed house on a council estate, mostly I like it. It’s cheap, neighbours are friendly (mostly) and we havn’t really had too many problems ( bar the crazy downstairs neighbour but she wasn’t here long!).
Thing is the area has a bad rep, my friend and family joke about where I live and it’s starting to get me down. I hate people coming round always in fear they will say something negative. Comments range from “its nice and compact” to, “how do you cope?”
DP’s best pal is coming over this weekend with his snobby ass wife and I’m dreading it... is it normal to feel ashamed of feeling ashamed ? I feel guilty for even thinking this way as we have enough money, a clean comfortable home and have a happy life ! I need to tell people to F off and not care but I do

I grew up on a rough council estate but it was 'home', 'normal' to me. People at school wouldn't come to where we lived on a night as the reputation was so bad. A lot of it was right but when you live there and know the people, you don't see it as the same.
I live in a council house now too, about 15 mins away. Like when we were young, our home is homely, comfortable, warm and means we can afford to have decent things in it. We decorate how we like to live, It might be bad on the street but inside you wouldn't even know it was here. I wouldn't care - people take me as I am.

Hold your head up high and dont be ashamed of where you live, there will always be people who have more money, bigger house better area. I lived in a caraan for 5 years with Ex H and DD, it was brand new, and a proper residential model, when people heard they used to ask where we went to the toilet! The bathroom was big enough to fit a twin bub washing machine, and the kitchen big enough for a table and 4 chairs, a lot bigger than a lot of the flats my ffriends were renting. I used to explain or invite them t come and have a look, they were like "oooh, no". We had a garden on all 4 sides, a neat tidy well kept site. So I got fed up with explaining to people so used to say, "We have to go into the field next door for the toilet" it also gave us the deposit for our first house when we sold it.

I grew up on an estate that was notorious in the 80's, the type of place that delivery drivers wouldn't come to.

The area though had the most amazing people and the sense of community was palpable.

Fast forward many years, millions of pounds worth of investment, many new homes and
even a new name, it's often referred to as the original name.

After I came back from uni, my parents had managed to buy a brand new house on a shiny new private housing estate.
It was lovely for all of 5 minutes.
Neighbours were unknown, no sense of community and it had the mentality of "keeping up with the Jones's"

When my relationship with dp broke down a few years on ( and with a baby ds ) I wanted to move back to my childhood estate.

I've been back 13 years now. My Close is beautiful, so much pride in it, gardens are immaculate, neighbours would give you anything.

Some people seem surprised when i tell them where I live, I don't seem to fit the perceived stereotype.

I never ever apologise for where I live, I feel much safer here than the posh estate.
Housing costs are low and my children are experiencing a childhood that is both humble and very down to earth.

Regeneration has continued and the area
Continues to benefit.
People are now buying private new builds here and the ones I've met have been surprised by both the community feel and the facilities on offer.

Your home sounds wonderful op and you should be very proud of it.

If she's a decent person she will find something nice to say about your place and I'm sure there are lots of good things to say.

If she's not a decent person then she won't.

I too, like Farthingwood, care not what someone's house is like, or if their hoover had broken.

TheSpottedZebra 100% real, thins is more more that I could add to that conversation too, but that was the main parts that having really stuck with me. I spent most of the afternoon talking to him, he was such a lovely man. I will admit i was nosey and asked a lot of questions, because this was the total opposite to how I know life, and I found it fasinating. I still don't understand titles mind!

It's horrible how inferior some people can make you feel. And I purposely avoid some people coming to my house sometimes. Even though it's a perfectly nice, cosy clean house. It is poor by local standards, and a lot of dc's friends, live in mansions by comparison. It is so sad how many comments my kids have had from their friends, which really says a lot about the parents I think. I would never dream of commenting on somebody's home to my child, but some of these kids are just blatantly rude. My little girl gets upset when some of her friends ask her why her bedroom is so small. And one girl piped up as she came home for a play date, my mum says your house is like a shoe box! Just try and ignore them OP, the people who matter won't care.

Inverted snobbery also exists though and some folks look down upon those who own large homes and make horrible comments,

There really is nothing as strange as folks and horrid comments or thoughts says more about the person saying them than whom it's about, that's really why it's not worth concerning yourself.

Be warm and welcoming, have a fun night, if she thinks bad things, it's on her, not you,

I live in a tiny 3 bed terrace in a council estate. My neighbours are lovely, most of the houses on my road are owned now, but the estate had a bad reputation about 20 years ago. I get comments from one guy I know. He's seems completely bewildered by the fact that we are happy here. I know it's just his own issue though. He grew up in a neighbouring council estate and seems quite proud that he now lives in a private new build estate. I think he also thinks I'm posh because of my accent and so can't understand why I would live in a council estate. I come from a working class background, but loads of people around here seem to think that ordinary southern English accents are posh.

I have a friend who grew up in council block of flats, who married a guy with a huge house. The kind of house with centuries of history, and the name of the town it's in. When she had her first baby she told me she was worried about making mum friends, she thought they might judge her for living in such a big house.

When she had her first baby she told me she was worried about making mum friends, she thought they might judge her for living in such a big house

That's interesting. My husband has a bit of that going on. When we viewed this house I fell in love instantly and said let's put an offer in. He just wasn't sure but couldn't explain his objections. Eventually he said "but people will think we are more than we are". Which totally threw me. I couldn't give a fuck what people thought, and if we could afford it, only what we though mattered, not some random strangers.

But, yes he was also worried people would judge us negatively because of it.

I grew up in a council house, (albeit in a pretty village) My (late) Father said he didnt aprove of people buying houses, yet, suddenly bought the 2 up 2 down, and moved to a huge 4 bed detached bungalow, when my lovelly DM died. We had a little 3 bed cottage, bought completely unmodernised, his nose went right up in the air, and he said he didnt know how I could stand to live there it was so small.

I used to live in a "rough area", my friends and colleagues all teased me or were genuinely horrified. Most of them had never actually visited the place. Yes, it was a bit rough but we were happy there. I used to just laugh at the snobby comments, it made me think less of them, not less of me, if that makes sense.

My dm constantly makes comments on my home because it on one of the least desirable streets in our area.
But I love my home. Ok couple of neighbours could do with a tweek to make them perfect but this feels more like home to me than the 18 years I spent in my dm posh show home.

Ah, I remember when my dad made fun of the area where I live.

I pointed out that there had been an attempted murder about half a mile from his (supposedly more desirable) front door that week, he soon shut up.