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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Fucking weirdest situation ever with housemate

78 replies

OhHeyArnold · 30/01/2018 22:23

I had had a horrible day at work and she kindly made me dinner. Stomach churning and feeling sick, I had a few bits but didn’t want to hurt her feelings. Then found a hair baked into it and felt even worse but obviously didn’t want to say anything. Thanked her profusely and took rest to my room to finish off...

Thanked her again on faceache today and said I had finished it. Big mistake but my mind is on other things right now. And didn’t want to hurt her feelings. She then asks if there’s any leftover (from my plate! It was a small portion of vegetable stew with rice!) then she would like to have it so can I put it in the fridge for her. I then repeat I have finished.

I’m in my room exhausted and she knocks twice asking how I am (but also to look for the plate I assume?!) - I awkwardly suggest we go downstairs but she clocks and asks me to put it in the fridge, and says she will eat it?! I say again I will and then she says I don’t have to lie! I awkwardly apologise and say it was delicious but my appetite had gone and I didn’t want to hurt her feelings.

We then make awkward small talk while she spoons it into a small Tupperware tub.

I make myself a cup of tea and return to my room, not knowing what the fuck just happened. All this drama over a plate of food! I do realise I was in the wrong but I’m about to be fucking sacked from my job and then this happens. I’m not in the mood Sad

OP posts:
Teabagtits · 31/01/2018 00:38

Maybe she wanted her hair back?

MrsCrabbyTree · 31/01/2018 00:47

Have you seen your flatmate actually eat the leftovers? Seems very odd indeed.

NerrSnerr · 31/01/2018 08:11

The situation seems odd but it's also odd that you thanked her again on Facebook. If you live with her you don't need to communicate via FB.

Original poster
OhHeyArnold · 31/01/2018 08:23

Yes I do - I work a long hours job and was out all day/evening...

OP posts:
Changedmynameo · 31/01/2018 08:39

That makes me wonder whether the hair in the food was an accident or if she just wanted a piece of her inside you

whiskyowl · 31/01/2018 08:39

I suspect this is one of those 'love languages' things.

You are the kind of person who feels sick and can't eat when things go wrong. Other people comfort eat in the same situation. Your friend shows love and care by cooking for you when she knows you are under stress. You want to be alone when under stress. She is probably irritated that you didn't eat the food she prepared for you and thinking your behaviour is a bit rude; you are thinking she is weird because she's hassling you when you have clearly signalled you want to be by yourself. She may actually have been checking up on you to see if you were OK, not just hassling about the plate; you found her knocking and checking up annoying and intrusive.

Communication is not just linguistic - it's about a whole life world. You guys sound like you cope with stress, and offer support, in very different ways.

I am really sorry to hear about your job. I hope that the situation isn't quite as bad as you think, and that you feel a lot better today. Flowers

LEELULUMPKIN · 31/01/2018 08:41

My very greedy Border collie who masquerades as a canine dyson would have turned her nose up at that! Gross!

BulletFox · 31/01/2018 08:47

Ewwww, nameo!

Idontdowindows · 31/01/2018 08:47

If you do bring it back up I'd hide it or she'll be having that too.

ROFL

But yes, quite weird OP. Has she ever been this weird about leftovers before?

WingsOnMyBoots · 31/01/2018 09:11

I know its always easier in retrospect etc. but I would have been honest and told about the hair. In fact, if I were you I would NOW tell her about the hair and clear it up. It doesn't put you in a bad light as you really were trying to save her feelings. Tell her.

Emmasmum2013 · 31/01/2018 09:12

I feel like everyone (including you, OP) is making a mountain out of this molehill.
Her flatmate nicely cooked her tea because she'd had a shit day, and OP then goes and eats in her room and hides it and lies about it like a child.
You could have just stayed and said "I'm so sorry I just can't finish it. I've had such a horrible day. I'll save it in the fridge/freezer and one of us can have it another time". Then you could have had a good old chin wag about your rubbish day and there would have been no need for this.

OP even said "I’m in my room exhausted and she knocks twice asking how I am (but also to look for the plate I assume?!) " Why assume that? She might have genuinely been concerned about you.

I'm not denying that to eat those leftovers would be gross and a bit weird, but there's 2 sides to every story and this one seems incredibly biased.

I feel like we're going to have another thread on here soon - "AIBU to think my flatmate is ungrateful after I made her dinner and she went to eat in on her own in her room and then actually didn't eat it at all"

dustarr73 · 31/01/2018 09:38

We ate with a family on holiday and they scraped ALL our plates into a big Tupperware box and announced they’d reuse it the next day. Scraps, from dinner for 10. Bleugh

That remins me of a time we where at someones house.She made chicken curry.We didnt have any.Buy my dp seen her scrapping back peoples leftovers back in to the pot and re serving it out again.Makes me sick just thinking it.

MrsPreston11 · 31/01/2018 09:42

We ate with a family on holiday and they scraped ALL our plates into a big Tupperware box and announced they’d reuse it the next day. Scraps, from dinner for 10. Bleugh

OMG - nooooo that's horrible! Closest I get to that is if there are untouched cucumber/pepper sticks/cherry tomatoes I'll put them in a tub as a snack after school the next day.

We went on holiday with a family and when their kid didn't finish his pork chop, mash and boiled (within an inch of the fricking lives) carrots they just clingfilmed it (brought the Clingfilm away with them..) they entire plate and microwaved it for hid dinner the next day.......

Ohyesiam · 31/01/2018 09:55

She sounds a bit intense
But you could be more straight forward, and just say what you mean.

Jux · 31/01/2018 10:30

If you're friends, you could have pulled the hair out and had a laugh about it, couldn't you? I seem to remember flat mates and I doing that sort of thing....

rainbownights · 31/01/2018 10:48

K, conspiracy theory here. She put something in the dish and needs the rest to dispose of it in case forensics find it later. Now you have posted this thread, they will find out of anything happens to you.

Sorry about your work situation btw. Why are you going to be sacked?

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 31/01/2018 10:54

That rice would be dangerous.

TitaniasCloset · 31/01/2018 15:44

Your flat mates a weirdo.

DextroDependant · 31/01/2018 20:38

Sounds like a stressful time for you OP

PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 31/01/2018 22:02

Has your friend messaged you today about this OP?

Original poster
OhHeyArnold · 31/01/2018 22:56

No she’s hasn’t! Why?

OP posts:
Changedmynameo · 31/01/2018 23:01

peppa I hear yaGrin

maddiemookins16mum · 31/01/2018 23:05

Are you Bridget Fonda?

Glammeup · 31/01/2018 23:06

Hi I feel like you don’t really like her in the first place. Lol how long have you known her and if you feel so odd around her move out .its very odd she wanted to eat the food after a day and agree she prob wanted to test you ...if you don’t like it remove yourself maybe

Katinkka · 31/01/2018 23:16

Grim af.