Making drinks for others....AIBU!!

[LittleMissUnreasonable]

Accidently hid my other thread so will use this one

Not sure if being OTT but just wondered other people's views on this.

Live in a house share at the moment with a couple of friends. Just me and 1 friend (DF) were in this weekend with our DPs. I offered too cook breakfast for the 4 of us and got all the ingredients. My DP offered to contribute but I declined as it was a treat. Friends DP didn't offer - fair enough. We all enjoyed breakfast.

Next day I got up early and DF and her DP were in the kitchen cleaning. I helped out a bit and DFDP said "I'm making coffee, do you want coffee 'DF'" She accepted and he began to make coffees. I was waiting to be offered one but he didn't. After he made DF and his own my DF was like "do you want one LittleMiss". I just said it was fine and is make my own.

Was IBU to think when someone's in the room too you'd offer them a brew rather than just make for you and your DP. If he was making for himself fair enough. If all of the housemates were there fair enough. It just seems a bit off not asking one person (who's house theyre a guest in) if they want a drink. He's not the most aware person socially.

What are people's views and general making drinks etiquette

Well I would have asked you but he may well have just forgotten you were there or whatever. We all do things like this sometimes and then feel a cringe afterwards.

Sure it was innocently done.

He's not the most aware person socially.

Well, there ya go.

I'd have just chimed in when he asked DF with a "ooh yes please"

etap why will you chim in when you weren't asked? that would have been so awkward.

Wow...that really puts my worries of making next rent, paying the bills and supporting my young children while their dad has feck all to do with them in perspective.

@Incexperience

Friend / housemate in the same room, flicking the kettle on... It's not like I'm knocking on the queen's door and asked for a coffee. Surely there's some bond between them.

"Ooh if you're making..."

• "Whoops, yeah sure"

How on earth is that awkward?

Maybe he doesn't have a very large caffertire.

@Flutter ...
I'm really sorry for what you're going through but as far as I'm aware AIBU is for everything big and small that can cause us to wonder if we're being unreasonable. I have many other problems which will probably fit your approval for a 'real probelm'but I only wanted to share something fairly light hearted at this time.

Why did you expect DFDP to offer to contribute towards the breakfast, but not DF? And why would you want people to keep offering to contribute after you already said it was your treat?

Do things for others because it feels good, not in the expectation of reciprocation.

Everyone else....
This is the second time he's done this. First time I probably wouldn't be bothered

Flutterbyeee
Maybe it's best you get off AIBU and concentrate on that then. Post title wasn't ambiguous. OP can ask whatever he/she likes.

@dame

I owed DF a bit of money anyway so we agreed we would cancel out. DP offered me out of ear shot of DFDP. The partner is quite an entitled person tbh.

I wasnt expecting something in return but would have liked a cuppa being made at least

He was rude OP. It's basic manners to offer everyone else a drink and not just one person in the same room.
Flutterbyeee wrong thread perhaps?

This takes me back to uni where I'd stuck a "yes I'll have one" to the top of my housemate's tea bag tin

Seriously flutter?

YANBU op.

My old aunt used to be deaf as post but if you'd whisper 'fancy a piece of fudge /brew? ' she'd pipe up ' yes please'

I wasnt expecting something in return but would have liked a cuppa being made at least
This statement is contradictory.
It sounds like you don't really like this person/think they are entitled or ungrateful. If so, stop doing things for them. If you continue to do things for them don't expect anything in return for them, even something as little as a smile. You are only aggravating yourself, this person will not care

As a post, obviously

I would definitely have just said ‘yes please!’ Nothing awkward about it and hopefully he’ll get the picture for next time. He was rude not to offer m.

Nothing like a bit of brew politics! I prefer to make my own anyway.

I suppose you could conclude that your friend's dp

a) is an inconsiderate arse with no manners

b) doesn't like you and wanted you to leave the kitchen

c) had run out of coffee and was too embarrassed to say

d) is so socially awkward he was unable to ask you a simple question

or e) a bit lazy

It's bad manners. You ask everyone in the room if they would like a drink, not just one person.

Assuming you're all young in the house share or students, I'll offer another possibility.
Could he have just dropped an acid tab and he thought you were a piece of furniture or a reptile of some sort?
That could explain his strange behaviour.

This is typical drip feeding.

At first the guy was just being inconsiderate and probably a typical unaware man.

But now it's the second time he's done it, he's got form for being entitled.

Sounds like OP just doesn't like him and wants her feelings justified through a trivial issue.

@I lost

I'd say a good combination of A , D and E :p we are kind of friends and sometimes hang out as a group but he gets on my wick sometimes

Some good suggestions there guys!!

Just plain ignorant after having sat and eaten brekkie the day before - sorry no excuse. But you need to Pipe Up - I will have one if you are making - thanks.