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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Owed money friends saying to chase it

41 replies

Pickledonion24 · 29/01/2018 23:18

Surprised my friend with A package at the club for her birthday cost 200 for the package and no one knew untill the night when they got to mine. told all the girls I was happy to pay but any money given for the vip would be a bonus for me seeing as they where planning on spending 40 on a night out what we normally pay I wasn’t paying taxis either. On the night out I said again when they Asked how much they owed just what ever they wanted to give me whether it be nothing or 30. They all secretly spoke when I was in the loo About paying me and the birthday girl said they all should pay me after what I’ve done. I also had them all stay over brought breakfast champagne and made a cake. On the night I Got the uber for a taxi as no one else had the app cost 80 for both taxis everyone has paid for taxi and drinks the next day. Girl b and her friend I’ve met once went home early as she has a young child to look after the next day. Friend b said good by and said she had no cash but would pay when she next saw me I mentioned bank details for the taxi and she said ok will do it tomorrow. She hasn’t paid and said she would give the cash when she saw me except when I mentioned meeting up for cinema this week she said She’s away and skint . I didn’t mine girl b or friend not paying for drinks but they did get a free night out when they where happy to pay but she’s a young Mum her partners car broke down and I don’t want to make it a hard month for her over some taxi money she’s also a good friend and i now no not to lend her money or do a loan for taxi money. My other friends think I should mention it to her and ask for the money it’s not a lot of money for me and I don’t need it but they think she should of atleast said she couldn’t pay. What do I do

OP posts:
Royalfuckup · 29/01/2018 23:21

Sorry. I don’t understand this at all Confused

chocolateorangeowls · 29/01/2018 23:23

I'm sorry your OP is really unclear.

Did you pay for something as a surprise and then wanted them to pay you back?

Original poster
Pickledonion24 · 29/01/2018 23:23

Sorry I’m really dyslexic

OP posts:
ButchyRestingFace · 29/01/2018 23:24

This needs to be simpler.

Who do you think owes you what and how much?

And why do you think they owe you? (is it for the Uber?)

ThisLittleKitty · 29/01/2018 23:28

She paid for a night out for her friends as a surprise. Said they could give her money towards it if they wanted to. One said she would but hasn't. She's asking if it's unreasonable to chase it up. Yes I think it is as it was up to you to do the surprise and you did say the friends helping to paying for it was optional.

DriggleDraggle · 29/01/2018 23:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lonesurvivor · 29/01/2018 23:29

I'd leave it, it's a lesson learned. Go with your own instincts not those of your friends.

Bizzysocks · 29/01/2018 23:34

Did friend B expect to stay at yours for the night or did she expect to be paying for taxi's and a club?

missymayhemsmum · 29/01/2018 23:36

Op, you did a lovely thing, but perhaps you also put this young mum in an embarrassing position. Obviously she felt she had to say she would pay in front of everyone, , but it was something she hadn't budgeted for or agreed to, and clearly she can't afford it. Her partner might have something to say about it too, if they're on a tight budget.
If you can afford to, let her know you don't expect anything, and just tell the others it's sorted.

WishingOnABar · 29/01/2018 23:37

If you want to be paid for a cost then you have to say outright the taxi cost 10 per person, the club is 20 each. You have given conflicting statements to them saying pay me if you want, 30 or 40 or nothing.
They have concluded from this that you don’t need it back.
I think you will have to take this as a lesson learned and be very clear next time as to the cost each and when you want it back by

Original poster
Pickledonion24 · 29/01/2018 23:38

We all said we would spend 40 each on drinks that’s was it so I brought a package where it would cost 50 each I could afford to pay for everyone but assumed if they where going to spend 40 each that they would happily give me some money for drinks seeing as they got way more for there money. It’s about the taxi to the club I said I wouldn’t be paying taxis and she hasn’t paid me for that neither has her friend

OP posts:
Original poster
Pickledonion24 · 29/01/2018 23:40

I was very clear about the taxi as we got out over the night nearly all came up and paid me for taxi or gave me extra for drinks

OP posts:
Original poster
Pickledonion24 · 29/01/2018 23:41

She was happy to spent 40 and knew taxi was going to be 10 each why come to a night if you can’t afford to pay

OP posts:
ThisLittleKitty · 29/01/2018 23:41

Never pay for peoples taxis let them do it themselves otherwise your just gonna end up chasing them for it. Seems you were wayyyyy to generous on the night than you should have been.

WishingOnABar · 29/01/2018 23:45

Aah I see, in that case you should definitely chase it. It sounds like it is more of a principle issue than cashflow but all the same you were very generous to them, she is taking the piss to have had a free night out and begrudge paying to get home!

Viviennemary · 30/01/2018 00:05

It's a difficult one. Nobody knew about the £200 package till the night. So didn't know you had spent that amount and would need to pay towards it. Is that what happened and this one girl keeps not paying up as she is broke. If that's the case I think you should drop in and be more clear in future how much people need to contribute. And the taxi is that more money owed. How much does this one girl who hasn't paid owe you.

MinorRSole · 30/01/2018 00:10

I don't think I would be happy to have something organised for me with the assumption I would pay a quarter over and above what I had planned to. I'm sure your heart was in the right place but it puts people on the spot and I don't think it's fair.
For something like that you really need to agree and collect monies beforehand.

CheapSausagesAndSpam · 30/01/2018 00:12

You should have involved them in the booking OP....you may have come avross a bit bossy with you making the decision to go ahead with this.

DriggleDraggle · 30/01/2018 00:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Snowysky20009 · 30/01/2018 00:32

^agree^ she may have only planned on spending £10 for the night. I'd be pissed if I was this girl as I would only have 3 drinks max

Redglitter · 30/01/2018 00:42

On the night out I said again when they Asked how much they owed just what ever they wanted to give me whether it be nothing or 30

But you've told them they don't actually need to pay anything so how can you now chase them.for money. I think you need to chalk this one up to experience and in future either leave the plans as they are or make it clear about the money

Springtrolls · 30/01/2018 00:43

You gave them to the option to pay or not.
If you want payment you need to be clear and not spring things on people.

BoomBoomsCousin · 30/01/2018 06:23

Really it's up to you whether you chase them. You certainly wouldn't be unreasonable to, but can you be bothered? They owe you. They didn't take money off you for necessities or anything, they took your money for a good night out. And if they agreed to go on that night out expecting to pay even more they aren't totally on the bread line. I don't really see why you're asking. Chase them. Don't chase them. Nothing unreasonable about either decision.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 30/01/2018 06:28

You can chase her for the taxi money. As you said paying for the club was optional you can’t chase for that. Or you can let it go.

restingbemusedface · 30/01/2018 06:29

I don’t think you can say you ‘surprised your friend with a package for the club’ and booked it without telling anyone but then expect them to pay for it.