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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Owed money friends saying to chase it

41 replies

Pickledonion24 · 29/01/2018 23:18

Surprised my friend with A package at the club for her birthday cost 200 for the package and no one knew untill the night when they got to mine. told all the girls I was happy to pay but any money given for the vip would be a bonus for me seeing as they where planning on spending 40 on a night out what we normally pay I wasn’t paying taxis either. On the night out I said again when they Asked how much they owed just what ever they wanted to give me whether it be nothing or 30. They all secretly spoke when I was in the loo About paying me and the birthday girl said they all should pay me after what I’ve done. I also had them all stay over brought breakfast champagne and made a cake. On the night I Got the uber for a taxi as no one else had the app cost 80 for both taxis everyone has paid for taxi and drinks the next day. Girl b and her friend I’ve met once went home early as she has a young child to look after the next day. Friend b said good by and said she had no cash but would pay when she next saw me I mentioned bank details for the taxi and she said ok will do it tomorrow. She hasn’t paid and said she would give the cash when she saw me except when I mentioned meeting up for cinema this week she said She’s away and skint . I didn’t mine girl b or friend not paying for drinks but they did get a free night out when they where happy to pay but she’s a young Mum her partners car broke down and I don’t want to make it a hard month for her over some taxi money she’s also a good friend and i now no not to lend her money or do a loan for taxi money. My other friends think I should mention it to her and ask for the money it’s not a lot of money for me and I don’t need it but they think she should of atleast said she couldn’t pay. What do I do

OP posts:

BoomBoomsCousin · 30/01/2018 06:38

"I don’t think you can say you ‘surprised your friend with a package for the club’ and booked it without telling anyone but then expect them to pay for it." OP doesn't expect them to pay for the package. She expects them to pay for their share of the taxi, which was a separate expense that they committed to and said they'd pay back.

peachgreen · 30/01/2018 06:46

I doubt she was planning on spending £40 on drinks given she has a young child at home. You can't expect to be paid back for a surprise you didn't consult anyone about. Chase her for the taxi money if you want to, but don't mention anything else.

rabbit12345 · 30/01/2018 06:53

I think you should leave it. Although it was lovely what you did, be aware that some people can feel “put upon” if they go out expecting an evening to a club and someone has organised an all out evening. It puts them in a position.

Would a cab to the local club cost as much as £10 per head? Presumably if she left early she was planning on paying to get home also.

She may just feel that she cannot pay you for the cab only and not pay for the night when everyone else has and so has decided to leave it until she can afford it all.

Buck3t · 30/01/2018 06:59

She owes you for the cab.
Ask her or let her off. Don’t discuss with the friends either way.

saoirse31 · 30/01/2018 07:03

So you spent the money in advance without telling anyone, and expect them to pay you back? I think you were v presumptuous. I'd find that really irritating of you tbh.

helenoftroyville · 30/01/2018 07:32

You should ask for the £40 and the taxi money (if she did agree that she was happy to pay that before hand)

You can't ask for extra money you spent on VIP package as a surprise, as they never agreed to this and it was 'forced' on them.

I would never pay out for things like this before hand, in my experience it is a nightmare getting the money back.

FluffyWhiteTowels · 30/01/2018 07:37

She's a good friend you say. Car needs fixing. You can easily afford it

Just let it go. Sometimes we need a help now and again. She may have more financial difficulties than she's said and is very embarrassed.

Original poster

Pickledonion24 · 30/01/2018 09:08

We all spoke for two months about the night out we all had a budget of 40 for entry and drinks where going to do a kitty. Taxi cost more as we went to a city further away as we don’t have any clubs in ours. I said I was happy to pay for the pacakage I didn’t want any money for it but seeing as everyone was going to pay for there drinks and I was telling people to pay me nothing or just 25 pounds up to them I think that’s resnable. With regards to the taxi everyone said you book an Uber and we will pay she was the one that actually said this first. I made it clear I would need the money. Everyone paid me instantly or when they woke up. I’m happy to leave it and not say anything but my friends all think she should of paid for taxi and some money for her drinks. Her partners car broke down the next day. I’ve told friends just to drop it but they want to speak to her to me it’s just a tenner. I do feel shes Been a bit cheeky with coming on a night out and not spending anything not even a pound

OP posts:

MinorRSole · 30/01/2018 10:12

You spent 2 months organising this? So you told them to pay you nothing or £25 or the £30 mentioned previously? Honestly it's all a bit weird and confusing but back in my day clubbing wasn't something you planned, you just went.

Taxi she should pay, send her a message saying that she owes x amount for the taxi and for her to confirm when she intends to pay.

Next time maybe let someone else organise it and just pay for yourself

chocorabbit · 30/01/2018 13:12

Is it just me or are you trying to arrange and pre-pay ONCE AGAIN for a night out when they have not yet repaid the previous expenses? It is already overly complicated and this will complicate it even further.Don't arrange anything until they pay back (if they do) whatever you have agreed among yourselves.

And in the future don't arrange anything without their consent as they can rightfully decline to pay you. And it is not your obligation to arrange for Uber. What would they have done if you hadn't been there?

helenoftroyville · 30/01/2018 14:51

She should pay £40 plus her share of the taxi.

She shouldn't get away with paying £0 for a night out - your friends are right.

DriggleDraggle · 30/01/2018 19:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bridgetreilly · 30/01/2018 20:16

Next time, tell people the deal upfront. And if you want people to pay you back, don't tell them they don't have to, give them the actual amount.

Original poster

Pickledonion24 · 31/01/2018 23:37

I was only after her share of the taxi

OP posts:

DriggleDraggle · 01/02/2018 07:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Passmethecakeplease · 01/02/2018 07:44

Money for taxi = yes
Club package money = no.

Just send her a text reminding her of the cost of the taxi and your bank details.

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