Long haul - leaving my 18m DD

[manicmumday1]

Morning MN

My DD will be 18 months and my husband and I were planning on going to Jamaica or Mexico, with my own mum coming to our house to look after DD in our absence so she will have her own bed toys etc.

We missed our honeymoon as my husband got deployed.

Has anyone went long haul and left their baby? I'm not sure if il be spending the week worrying I can't get home to her if needed as its such a long way.

Is your mother completely incompetent?

She managed to take care of you, what makes you thing she cant take care of gd?

It's nothing to do with my mother competency (which is fine otherwise she wouldn't be babysitting at all)

It's the fact that we would be a 10+ hour flight away, not accessible.

I just wondered if anyone else had done this.

Also, DD has never been away from us for more than one night.

Only you know the answer to that op.
You don't have to go , or go so far if you don't want to.

How soon do you plan to go manic? Can you plan some nights away now so your DD can get used to it? Only you will know if you can manage being away from her for that length of time, but I wouldn't want to find out I couldn't do it after paying for and traveling to a country 10 hours away and then spend the entire time regretting it. Some trial runs, maybe a night and moving on to a weekend etc would help you see whether you and DD will manage with the separation or not

I've suggested somewhere closer but my husband has said IABU as DD would be perfectly fine with my DM and it's probably the last time we will get away somewhere far as we want to try for another baby later in the year.

I'm just so torn.

I don’t think anyone can help you with this tbh. It’s whether you are comfortable enough to do this. Would you consider going to a family resort with excellent childcare?

I went to the USA when my dc were 4&6 so not as young but still very reliant on me. It was fine but obviously I missed them. This was pre face time etc.

Maybe try a weekend away first to see how you both feel?

Thanks monkeys mum, I think I may give just give that a try

Why go that far? You could go somewhere nearer, less jet lag more luxurious if you went nearer. Marrakesh, Italy?

Go! You missed your honeymoon. Maybe try a few trial days/nights before. Does you DD know your DM well?

Reason for the Long haul is my husbands in the Army so we need to go on Easter leave and it's the only place that's really "hot hot".

I would of considered somewhere with childcare, or even brought my mum but that's a no no. I think my DH feels we missed out not having a proper honeymoon.

DD knows my DM great, she has stayed over with here every other Saturday and sees her probably every other day.

We also went away at Christmas for a week so she's really comfy with her.

How long for?

I'm confused. You went away at Christmas for a week... and left baby with mum?
But then you said upthread that you'd only ever spent one night apart?

We would be going for a week.

And we went away a week at Christmas with my mum and baby, in reply to the poster asking if baby was comfy with Adam

DM not Adam *

I left my three kids for 10 days to see my brother when he was ill and also to see my auntie for one last time. That was hard... really, really hard.
But my kids are 15, 7, and 3 and this was only last September. Ironically I missed my teen the most and he seemed to miss me the most. My younger two were a bit like, "Oh hey. What's up?" when I came home, as if I'd never left. They were in the care of DH and his sister, their amazing auntie!

It'll be good for you both... difficult, believe me. I was very anxious the entire 10 days and did not relax, but then, my trip was not a relaxing one. I really missed them. But you've just got to bite the bullet. It'll be really, really, really good for you and DH.

OP probably means they went away for a week over Christmas together ?

I have. We got married abroad and then went on to a further destination (Hawaii), whilst my DM & DF flew my dc back to uk. One was 5yrs and the other 15months at the time.
If I'm being completely honest, i ruined my honeymoon worrying about them. Sudden realisation on day 2 about how far I actually was from them and if something happened I couldn't get there quickly. I had no issues with my parents looking after them, and they had a fabulous time but I still feel guilty now nearly 10 years later!
I've been on many European trips since for a few days and never felt as bad as I did then.
It is down to personal preference, and I know a lot of the worry I had was unnecessary but I just couldn't help it. I tried getting flights back on day 4 but it would have taken me over 2 days to return with flight times and layovers - which just panicked me more!

me and my DH went on our honeymoon for a week to St Lucia when our DS was 2.5. He had a great time and so did we. It depends on the individual circumstances. What your child is like? Is she Clingy? Will you spend your holiday fretting? We facetimed him daily but DS couldn't have been less bothered. Enjoy.

Go, have a brilliant time, face time your DD ..... but don't wallow in misery, just go and enjoy time with your husband

If you don't want to - don't. And don't listen to others who say that your mother obviously raised you and was fine. There's a difference and this is YOUR child who YOU might not want to leave. I personally couldn't, still haven't 4 years later for more than a night! Sometimes people don't factor in the baby/child either - some will desperately miss their mother (particularly if she's the main caregiver).
Plenty of time later on for holidays - if you want to go now, then do, if not then don't, and don't let others bully you into it.

I wouldn't do it. If anything happened you would be a day away by the time you got a flight.

But then I'm a bit funny about leaving my kids and never wanted to do it when they were small, I couldn't imagine having a nice time without my kids for a week when they were little. Also I would worry about leaving them orphaned if the plane went down!! I simply hate flying side becoming a Mum. I have flown many times with my DCs and without DH, long haul.

TBH your DH sounds like a selfish man baby. I don't expect he does too much of the childcare and now regardless of your DD ever spending a night away he's insisting you go away long haul for a week?

We went to Bangkok when DS was almost 2. He stayed at home with my parents. I'll be completely honest... I pined for him daily and my day revolved around the messages/facetime with my Mum on a evening (morning UK time). I most certainly wouldnt do it again as it terrified me with the what ifs....

We went to Vegas (from the UK) when DD2 was about that age. Mum was in charge. No problems at all. It got harder as they got older as mum and I have very different ideas on running a home and the DC noticed the differences and didn't like it, but when they were babies it was fine.

I don't think anyone can help you with this one..you have to decide...I personally wouldn't of done so...we took our kids to butlins for our honeymoon 🙄..it was ok ..but obviously you know not ideal..every holiday we have had in the last 20 years ,we took our kids..I wouldn't / we wouldn't of dreamed of leaving them behind...but different strokes for different folks...it's your call .