Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be absolutely terrified

35 replies

Spicylolly · 27/01/2018 23:21

Of going to the dentist? I know no one enjoys going to the dentist but I've a full blown phobia that just keeps getting worse and worse. I know it's stupid and I've got a high pain threshold so it's not the pain that freaks me out. I cant even phone the surgery, I feel absolutely ridiculous and stupid. I've found a local dental practice that deal with anxious people like me and they offer sedation so I emailed them to ask some questions and they replied saying to call them to discuss....I just can't and I feel like a feckin idiot.
I'm a grown woman for god sakes that delivered 2 babies, one back to back and one 11lb 1oz monster, I broke my ankle and walked around on it for a day not wanting to put anyone out but oh no I couldn't possibly sit in a chair and let someone look in my mouth and give me a couple of fillings!
Has anyone overcome a dental phobia? I have the money to pay for sedation and the work that needs doing (at least 2 small fillings I can see) but I'd much rather get my big girl pants on and go and have the work done like any other normal human being without having a sleepless nights and panic attacks!
Any advice please????

OP posts:
Notcontent · 27/01/2018 23:25

I think you need to change your outlook. I was really scared of the dentist as a child. But I actually really enjoy going to the dentist now - yes, really!!! In modern dentistry there is no pain involved. And I enjoy knowing that I am doing something positive for my teeth.

MrsA2015 · 27/01/2018 23:30

Perfectly normal phobia to have, I’ve always hated the dentist with a severe passion after having 12 teeth extracted as a child (major cock up at a teaching hospital who saw fit to let their student practice on me whilst sedated!) since then I’ve been petrified of going back till I was about 20 for a broken molar.

After giving birth to my DD 2 years ago my tooth cracked 5 days after birth and I hobbled to the dentist with my DD, after a traumatic birth and still in pain last thing I wanted was a filling, only to find I needed a root canal and crown fitted sob

I had an appointment last week for a filling and can say that my fear is starting to slowly ebb away with each visit as I’d rather have my own teeth in tact than risk anymore damage and potential agony!!!

If sedation is going to help you then just do it because it really isn’t worth risking bad dental health and anxiety.

Really hope you get through this! Good luck

Original poster
Spicylolly · 27/01/2018 23:30

It stems from being held down for a filling as a teenager and forced to have injections I didn't want and that didn't even work. I know dentistry is completely different now but that's what a phobia is...an irrational fear of something. I know it's irrational, I want to know how to tell my brain that. Panic attacks are not so ething I choose to have for fun.

OP posts:
sodabreadjam · 27/01/2018 23:30

Could you get a friend to phone for you with the questions you want to ask and a friend to go with you for the first treatment. That would be a start. You usually just get examined at the first appointment anyway - ask if they could do that first so you can get used to it.

Eatalot · 27/01/2018 23:33

I could have written this a few years ago. Its not the just the pain but the loss of control. I hate the thought of dental work. After years of avoiding I went and cried when asked to sit in the chair. Mortifying. But dentist wad fab and took it slow. I needed work and took me months to have it done. believe me i didnt think i would but visits helped me feel comfortable. Also I always take music and focus on the song. Iv never been sedated I had injection and they dont hurt like they used too. My dentist said pain comes from fluid going into gum too quick and dentists used to do injection really fast. Now they go slow its just the initial prick and they will give you numbing gel if you ask.

Original poster
Spicylolly · 27/01/2018 23:33

Wow Mrs that sounds awful! I've had 4 molars out under GA which was lovely and a tooth removed under sedation about 7 years ago which was also fine, I'm really angry with myself for being so scared for no reason 😡

OP posts:
Original poster
Spicylolly · 27/01/2018 23:37

My DH offered to ring for me but I feel like such a drama queen. I'll suck it up and ring them Monday ...probably. It is the loss of control and every dentist I've been to always sticks their nasty sharp pointy tool in exactly the place I ask them not to, it's like they enjoy seeing me get upset.
My mum was a dental nurse and I literally lived in the dentist, it's only when I was held down for a filling that it all went tits up.

OP posts:
cueominousmusic · 27/01/2018 23:39

I know exactly what you mean.

I have had a double knee replacement. Going to the dentist probably worries me more than having that actually did. I don't know why. As a child it didn't worry me, and I never had a bad experience at the dentist. It started when I was about 20.

averylongtimeago · 27/01/2018 23:40

I know how you feel. If you have found a dentist that does sedation then go for it, it is the only way I can cope and you don't know a thing.
Get someone else to phone while you are there to make the appointment, and also to go with you as you will need someone to take you home afterwards.
I was as high as a kite apparently, no way I could have managed on my own!

It's no good people telling me how good their dentist is, how it won't hurt or how their little children are so relaxed at the dentist, there is absolutely no way I can get through it without sedation, it's not a rational thing I can just talk my self out of.

ThisLittleKitty · 27/01/2018 23:43

Are you me?! I am terrified of the dentist. The whole thing just freaks me out. Its extending to teeth and I really hate seeing anyone's teeth. I can't even call the dentist and definitely wouldn't step foot in one.

NoSquirrels · 27/01/2018 23:44

Spicy I have a bit of a dentist phobia too (clamped open for a filling as a child, then my reluctance got worse the older I got). HOWEVER I find that if I go regularly I can be OK with it - but the ringing for an initial appt after a break is awful. Once I’m on a regular schedule it’s sort of out of my hands and I endure it fine.

I also find I can walk in somewhere and talk to reception and make an appointment in person, but struggle badly with the phone. Could you go in and chat? Otherwise have your DH make the appointment and pretend you’re the Queen or other high-powered personage with a secretary to make appointments for you!

Original poster
Spicylolly · 27/01/2018 23:45

It will be a lot of money for sedation and the work but yes sod it, I've saved that much from not going for the last 7 years anyway. I think I'm making myself panic more by beating myself up about it. I've just had an unexpected PPI cheque so that can pay for the work. They can knock me out and do the whole lot all in one go. Perhaps if they are super lovely I'll go for check ups and that will help me pull up my big girl pants! I used to be scared of flying but now I do it more I'm ok.
Thanks everyone for not making me feel like an even bigger freak x

OP posts:
5foot5 · 27/01/2018 23:46

I don't really have any advice but I just wanted to say I am so on our side.

As a child in the 60s and 70s, after a number of extractions, I became extremely scared of the dentist. Mid teens I partially conquered this enough to go for some much needed fillings. However I think I was in my twenties before I realised that I wasn't scared of the dentist I was scared of the gas mask that had been used to give me a GA as a child.

I think most dentists these days would be sympathetic to phobias and could provide help if required. I have a friend who is a dentist I could ask.

storynanny · 27/01/2018 23:50

I understand totally. Im 61 and can be physically sick before a check up. Although my dentist is reasonably sympathetic, if I need treatment I pay for sedation.

bluescreen · 27/01/2018 23:56

If your DH has offered to make the appointment for you, then please please let him do it. It's all about tricking the mind.
You know that dentists these days are pussycats compared with the school dentist of your youth. It will be harder to avoid an appointment than making one. And intellectually you know the appointment won't be hard anyway.

BerylStreep · 27/01/2018 23:57

Have you ever tried meditation / self hypnosis? It might help.

mari652 · 27/01/2018 23:57

My best friends father was my dentist when I was a child so it was always a friendly experience fo me and I have the loveliest, gentle dentist now who explains things so well. I do actually enjoy going to see her !

My brother, on the other hand, a big strong man who does all kinds of scary sports, had a dreadful wisdom tooth experience as a young man and has to have sedation for even a check up. It's nothing at all to be embrassed about and there are plenty of people who take this option.

user1471453601 · 27/01/2018 23:58

I so understandable where you're coming from OP. I've had some pretty extreme medical procedures. Camera up my nose and into my lung? No problem. Bloody big needle into my back and through my lung? Go for it. PET scan? Why not?

Ask me to sit in a dentist waiting room for ten minutes? I'm sweating and hyperventilating within five minutes.

If I could pay a dentist to come to my home, sedate me and take every tooth out, I would. I've no idea why I have this phobia, but I have

Catanddogmake6 · 28/01/2018 00:00

Try doing a Google search for a dentist who deals with phobias and see if you can email them. I think it's much easier to be honest to a screen than it is talking to someone. Also means they understand the problem before you get there. Also be prepared for the fact they may just talk and take x rays on your first visit. You can do it.

impossible · 28/01/2018 00:02

I'm very reluctant go to the dentist after bad experiences as a child but I've realised I need less dental work (or none) if I go fairly frequently. I now go once a year rather than once every five years or when toothache set in.

One thing that helps me is telling the dentist I'm nervous - I don't make a fuss but I feel better knowing the dentist is aware. I'd also recommend taking some music and ear phones so you can lose yourself in your choice of songs. I'm probably older than you (in my 50s) but dentristy is certainly much less horrible now than it was when I was a child.

If you're really worried some dentists advertise themselves as specialising in treating nervous patients, though this is a road I never wanted to go down.

Good luck!

Mazzystarlett · 28/01/2018 00:12

Have a look online and see if you can find one that specializes in nervous and phobic patients? That's what we did and we are now all regular visitors. My son has ASD and they built up visits in stages so he wasn't afraid. He has even had a filling now with no issues, in fact he looks forward to going and seeing his friend!

mentalfluid · 28/01/2018 00:14

i had dentist phobia as a child. once i hit my late teens the sweating and shaking stopped and the intense fear but i still am nervous of them. i do not know how i outgrew the phobia. maybe because i faced worse things as i grew older? or maybe i just overcame it. but i admit i tend to avoid going. i fear root canals.

BrazzleDazzleDay · 28/01/2018 00:18

3 years ago i hadnt been in at least ten years. I had cracked my front upper tooth from a tongue piercing.

I had a wine induced melt down to my dh.

Im rather pished now but happy to pm if you want

alphajuliet123 · 28/01/2018 00:20

I get it, and while this story might not help you OP, you have my utmost sympathy..... I didn't dare go for ages and had a message on my landline when I got back from holiday last summer saying I had until the end of the week to contact them or I would be removed from the list. As I'd missed the deadline I had to ring and basically beg for my place back, dentist agreed as long as I went in the next morning.

And so I went, bricking it but hoping for a nice positive outcome and shiny teeth. Fuckers pulled one of my molars out. I cried and shook throughout and sobbed for the rest of the day, felt totally violated. He wanted to see me again within 4 months and I had an appointment last week, which I cancelled because I'm a massive wuss. Already had an email and two phone calls to chase me up. Shitting it. And I can't avoid going in as the kids have their check ups next week. FFS.

I hate teeth.

EliseC1965 · 28/01/2018 00:37

Just been to the hygienist today for treatment on my gum disease. I hate it and nearly weed myself.
Last year I had to have major cleans, under the gums, which meant 2 x hours of local anaesthetic, scraping, those god awful water jets etc. I talked my gp into prescribing Valium beforehand and that helped a lot,

But it’s working. I was in danger of losing some teeth and my gums are now nearly back to normal. Only one big gum fissure left and I just have to keep using my pokey stick things ( can’t remember what they’re called) to between them clean every night.

My phobia stems from an emergent dentist pulling an infected wisdom tooth after the anaesthetic wore off. I had a black eye, the stitches he put in fell out and I needed loads of antibiotics as the infection spread after he pulled it out. I was in agony for weeks.

I have a lovely practice now and they’re so gentle and stop for lots of breaks when they see me panicking. I pay a huge amount, but oh has put me on his works dental plan, so that helps.

I just have to consciously remember to breathe or I go into panic mode. Lol.