To be absolutely terrified

[Spicylolly]

Of going to the dentist? I know no one enjoys going to the dentist but I've a full blown phobia that just keeps getting worse and worse. I know it's stupid and I've got a high pain threshold so it's not the pain that freaks me out. I cant even phone the surgery, I feel absolutely ridiculous and stupid. I've found a local dental practice that deal with anxious people like me and they offer sedation so I emailed them to ask some questions and they replied saying to call them to discuss....I just can't and I feel like a feckin idiot.
I'm a grown woman for god sakes that delivered 2 babies, one back to back and one 11lb 1oz monster, I broke my ankle and walked around on it for a day not wanting to put anyone out but oh no I couldn't possibly sit in a chair and let someone look in my mouth and give me a couple of fillings!
Has anyone overcome a dental phobia? I have the money to pay for sedation and the work that needs doing (at least 2 small fillings I can see) but I'd much rather get my big girl pants on and go and have the work done like any other normal human being without having a sleepless nights and panic attacks!
Any advice please????

I am not scared of the dentist, although I don’t love it, but am terrified of needles. After ten years of just six monthly checks and scale and polishes, I have needed a load of work since last April due to clenching and grinding at night because of stress. I’m just going into my fourth root canal, so feel like a bit of an expert - I don’t get sedated, partly because my dentist told me that patients who do tend to need it forever as they don’t realise how well they can actually cope. Here are the things that work for me:

Be honest - my dentist is super patient because she knows I am really anxious. She also schedules slightly longer appointments than I need to give me time for a break if I need it, or a cry before we start
Don’t get there too early - I am worse in the waiting room than I am in the chair
Think about what would help you - I need step by step commentary, whereas I know some people would really hate this
Bring somethimg to fiddle with - I take a Beanie Baby toy and hold it in my hands. I probably look like a dick, but I don’t care
Ask for breaks if you need them - I needed a lower molar extracted, and it was a “difficult extraction”.i used the pre-agreed stop signal a number of times, because I just needed to sit up and breathe.
Lavender oil - I rub it round my nose before I go in
Time - my last root canal was done over two x two hour sessions. I looked at the clock all the way through. I kept a mantra in my head that in X amount of time it would be over and I would be walking home. Also that the treatment would stop the pain.
Reward - I order something as a treat which I know will be waiting when I get home.

Toothache is the worst pain. Dentists cure toothache. Another useful mantra! Remember that the dentist will have seen loads of nervous patients, and will want you to have a comfortable, stress-free experience as much as possible.

Good luck, OP!

Has anyone overcome a dental phobia?

Yes, by finding an excellent dentist, one who knows how to do dental treatment without causing pain and doesn't just promote sedation as a magic bullet. (For various reasons I decided against sedation.) Properly done dentistry should not hurt.

(They're in Sutton Coldfield, north of Birmingham. If that's an area you could get to, PM me if you want to know which dentist).

I still get a bit tense for appointments, but after years of neglect and toothache I'm finally getting my teeth sorted out.

Sorry, haven't read the whole thread so don't know if this has been suggested yet - Have you tried going to your Drs to ask for something to help? Mine gives me diazepam. My mum used to have them too. It just gives you the help to start with, then it gets easier going and you might not need it. I used to have a severe dental phobia. I would obsess about my teeth constantly (Do I need a filling? That hurts, has my gum receeded? Etc.). I also would have rather commited suicide than have a filling when awake. However, last year I had a filling! I was awake too. Ok it was only a small one but the first I had had in about 20 years or so. I did it by building my confidence up, first with the help of diazepam, secondly with my dentist being so reassuring. Dentist aren't what they used to be (Painful, judgemental and scary.), they seem a lot more understanding and willing to help. I wish you luck.

Thanks everyone, I actually feel a bit better knowing I'm not alone. This dentist do specialise in nervous patients and sedation so I'm going to call them tomorrow and book myself in. I'm going to find some online hypnotherapy too to see if that helps.
I had surgery to remove a lump on my nose last year and was awake for that and was fine, it's having to open my mouth that sets me off.
I'm definitely going to just have the sedation and get everything done at once and then try and keep up with regular appointments to try and get over this phobia 👍🏻

Just wanted to update: I went to the dentist who offers sedation, she was lovely. Had all the X-rays including the big head one and then went back to hear the damage. £1300 including £500 worth of sedation eeeek, she said all my old fillings needed replacing and that I needed several more. I decided I'd have the work done without sedation and she would do one section of mouth at a time.
I was really pleased, I felt much better and went home with the intention of ringing up to book my next appointment, I was so super chuffed with myself for getting over my phobia.

When I got home a leaflet was on my doormat for a more local dentist, all women (which was the problem I realised after seeing a woman dentist, my fear stemmed from the male dentist who held me down for my filling as a teenager) and amazingly priced.

So I thought I'd go and get a second opinion seeing as I didn't want sedation anymore I might as well see if I could get the work done cheaper, consultations were only £27 including X-rays.....I just spent £160 at the other place.

Well they were all lovely and really professional, which I preferred over the other clinic where the dentist was too chatty for my liking. Turned out I only needed a deep gum line clean, one tooth to watch and that's it! No wonder they were all driving Bentleys at the other place haha

So I've had half my mouth done and the next appointment is all booked. It was slightly unpleasant, mainly the noise, but not at all painful.

I'm so happy I'm not scared anymore, such a huge relief not to worry about my teeth now. I'm going to go every 3 months to keep my gums in check and my phobia at bay.

I wanted to update as maybe it will help others with dentist phobias x

Helpful Kimmy!
OP that's brilliant news. Well done for facing your fear and seeing not one but two dentists! Quite an achievement.
Glad you saved yourself a lot of money too.

No need for that KimmySchmidt1

I'm so pleased that you've overcome your phobia OP, and what a lesson to get a second opinion when faced with a dentist saying you need loads of things done, which would cost a fortune. Some people have no scruples.

Thanks Kimmy, I did indeed get a grip. Thanks for your helpful input lol

My son wears headphones and listens to music while at the dentist.

Piss off Kimmy, I've seen my adult child reduced to a quivering heap by needing dental treatment.
Valium didn't help.
Luckily he got refered to a centre trained to help and understand such cases, all on nhs.