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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed with my parents?

53 replies

strugglingtodomybest · 27/01/2018 09:33

During the week, my dad asked me if I'd bring my DC to see him and my mum this weekend and I said I would.
Then yesterday, DS2 had to be picked up from school early and school couldn't get hold of me or DH so rang my parents, who went to fetch him and dropped him to me.
DS1 was also off school, so both DC were in the house and both my parents were in the house. I asked them if they'd like a coffee and my mum said no because they had to go right now because they were going out, and they left.
About half an hour later, me and DS2 went to my parents house (I work there) and I expressed surprise that they were in. My dad asked why I was surprised and I said that mum had said they were going out. Dad said they were but not for a few more hours.
Roll on to this morning, I've just text dad to ask if he still wants me to take the DC round, and he does.
AiBU to be a bit annoyed that they could have spent time with the DC yesterday but choose not to and now I have to spend part of my weekend taking the DC to see them?
It's not really the time itself that's annoying me, more the principle I think.

OP posts:

Ilovecoleslaw · 27/01/2018 09:36

Why were they off school?
If it was because of illness, I don't blame them for not wanting to stay when they're ill

Palegreenstars · 27/01/2018 09:37

They did you a favour by picking up your kid and now you are annoyed that they didn’t choose to spend more of their free time that day with you despite having plans today. YABU.

Why is spending time with them feeling like a chore? Are you too reliant on them?

Slartybartfast · 27/01/2018 09:37

perhaps she had to get ready?
perhaps they like the routine of having something positive on a saturday?

ChasedByBees · 27/01/2018 09:37

But they hadn’t planned to see your children yesterday, they did you a favour. They may have felt tired or wanted to do something in the house, they don’t have to justify it.

Your arrangement was to go today so you were always planning to use your weekend seeing them.

Bambamber · 27/01/2018 09:37

YABU they did you a favour

arethereanyleftatall · 27/01/2018 09:38

Could they have been annoyed that they ended up picking up from school, when it sounds like you could have? That was kind of them. How far away from the school/you do they live?

Graphista · 27/01/2018 09:40

Yabu

You don't get to tell them how to spend their time.

Why couldn't school get hold of you if you were at home with another DC? They did you a favour say thanks and get a grip!

Poshsausage · 27/01/2018 09:42

What a non issue

buttfacedmiscreant · 27/01/2018 09:45

Some people don't like change in routine and feel unsettled if plans change last minute. Sounds like they wanted to stick with what you'd agreed. They were kind to pick your son up and didn't want to stay so made up an excuse and you are complaining??

Slartybartfast · 27/01/2018 09:46

also perhaps they had plans at Their house for the dc?

Tipsntoes · 27/01/2018 09:48

I think you upset your mum by not being suitably grateful for their very kind and generous help and she wanted to leave before she told you that!

Nocabbageinmyeye · 27/01/2018 09:50

Massively unreasonable, firstly they did you a favour, then they had plans and they didn't break them last minute (by plans I mean probably relaxing and getting ready to go out) and your annoyed? Definitely unreasonable

MarklahMarklah · 27/01/2018 09:51

Presumably picking up DC must have put them out and disrupted their plans for yesterday. Possibly they were a bit annoyed about this, particularly as it sounds as though you were home with other DC (so it would have appeared that you could have picked up but didn't).
Can you just chalk this one up to crossed wires and keep to the original plan of seeing them today/this weekend?

Original poster

strugglingtodomybest · 27/01/2018 09:56

OK, looks like IABU then.

To answer some questions:

The kids weren't ill.

Why is spending time with them feeling like a chore? Are you too reliant on them?

I think it's more the principle really, although I do have lots of stuff to get on with today (apart from MNing!). I don't know if I'm too reliant on them, define 'too reliant'.

Could they have been annoyed that they ended up picking up from school, when it sounds like you could have? That was kind of them. How far away from the school/you do they live?

I couldn't pick DS2 up, or rather, I could have later. I had 2 missed calls from school on my phone, DH missed one, then school rang the next contact on the list, which was my dad. Actually, you may be right, my mum seemed annoyed and asked me how school had got my dad's number.
They live 3 miles from the school.

Why couldn't school get hold of you if you were at home with another DC?

I wasn't at home, I was working in an area with no signal.

OP posts:

Original poster

strugglingtodomybest · 27/01/2018 09:58

Can you just chalk this one up to crossed wires and keep to the original plan of seeing them today/this weekend?

Oh don't worry, I will be keeping to the plan and not saying anything.

OP posts:

Original poster

strugglingtodomybest · 27/01/2018 09:59

I think you upset your mum by not being suitably grateful for their very kind and generous help and she wanted to leave before she told you that!

Is that you mum?!

OP posts:

Bahhhhhumbug · 27/01/2018 10:01

What do you mean you work there? Do you work for your parents or do your parents let you use part their premises to work. Your parents sound fantastic and you sound like it's never enough tbh.

Original poster

strugglingtodomybest · 27/01/2018 10:13

What do you mean you work there?

My dad and I are partners and the office is at their house.

OP posts:

Graphista · 27/01/2018 10:14

What bahhhhh said. Was ds1 alone at home off school? Op suggested you were home with him but then you say you were out of signal range. Was dh ALSO out of signal range? Did you give school your dads number without his permission?

Tipsntoes · 27/01/2018 10:18

So your Dad was working too, but the child's two parents were both un-contactable , your parents dropped everything to collect DC and you have the kind of relationship where you begrudge taking the children to see them at the weekend.

Plus (just guessing) your Dad has arranged for you to make a living in his business and you can barely thank them for last minute emergency childcare. I'm not surprised your mum needed to get away.

Winteriscoming18 · 27/01/2018 10:19

Its such a non issue but tbh you sound hardwork. They got your dc for you and then went off home and your annoyed they didn’t stay longer. They aren’t answerable to you what they do with their time. They did you a favour.

notapizzaeater · 27/01/2018 10:23

Why would school be sending kids home if not Ill ?

You should be grateful they collected form school

Original poster

strugglingtodomybest · 27/01/2018 10:24

Was ds1 alone at home off school?

Yes, but he's plenty old enough.

That seems to sum it up, yes.
Like I said at 09.56. It looks like IABU then. I was just checking. I have quite a difficult relationship with my parents (I've had therapy for it) and sometimes I'm not sure whether it's me or them.

Plus (just guessing) your Dad has arranged for you to make a living in his business and you can barely thank them for last minute emergency childcare. I'm not surprised your mum needed to get away.

You guessed wrong.

OP posts:

Snowysky20009 · 27/01/2018 10:27

Yep you are being unreasonable. It should have been lots of thank you's and many apologies. And yes you should take them over today as planned!

Slartybartfast · 27/01/2018 10:30

might be an idea not to work for them if they have caused you to have therapy op?

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