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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Someone stole a photo of my baby and editited to lable her a c**t

67 replies

Bedsox · 27/01/2018 01:55

This is more of a rant but i am shocked and disgusted!

Im was part of a private group on facebook (i know) someone from the group stole a photo from my profile it was was my cover photo and wrote the word "cunt" on the picture then circulated it. All of my other photos are to the best of my knowledge private.

I know i shouldn't be mad if i put the photo on facebook and i know sharing photos of children have its implications of course, will make me think twice in the future bit equally i dont understand why someone would do that to a picture of a 19 month old. Seeing a photo of my dd and that word together was not nice and i hope i dont sound like a snowflake but upset me a lot.

I know IABU to have posted a photo of her i am just a very proud first time mum and a lot of my friends and family post pics of their children. My mil and my df post photos of my dd as well.

But aibu to feel really quite upset about it?

I feel a bit more sensitive at the moment when it comes to children a local family whom we all know has just lost their young boy who was otherwise fit and well. They suspect he died from flu any parents worst nightmare i feel heart broken for them. I usually have a very thick skin but i think that might be contributing to the way i feel about the photo.

All responses welcome and im totally expecting to hear about the full dangers of posting photos of children on social media and now i cant stress enough i 100% agree.

OP posts:
Lollypop27 · 27/01/2018 02:00

Can you report the photo to Facebook? I wouldn’t be happy about this either and I don’t think you are being a snowflake at all!

NSEA · 27/01/2018 02:01

There’s nothing dangerous about posting photos of children on social media. What’s dangerous is who you allow access to see the photos of children on social media. Maybe trust strangers less.

If someone did that why are you so concerned with the dangers of posting pictures of children over why the person did. Who they are. What are their intentions. It srems a bit weird.

Original poster
Bedsox · 27/01/2018 02:07

To be honest all my facebook friends are all actually friends and family and i keep photos private. My cover photo however is public so stupid of me and the group is the only place i communicate with strangers online without being anonymous.

Im more pissed off with myself. I have reported the photo but i know it was circulated while i was waiting for it to be taken down. It was a group for music and gigs but its gone downhill lately since more members have joined.. I dont even know why i stayed a member.

According to other members its "banter" so i guess that means lighthearted. I didnt see it at funny or light hearted. Ive since left the group.

OP posts:
WellThisIsShit · 27/01/2018 02:07

What? That’s a horrible thing to do. Shocking and really not understandable as I really can’t work out why someone would do this.

Not surprised you’re feeling sensitive about it all. Perfectly normal.

Original poster
Bedsox · 27/01/2018 02:11

I think people just try to go for the shock factor. Im not a very vocal member of the group i just enjoy following certain indi bands i like and watching videos from their gigs which get shared on the page since im rarely able to attend any more. Shame really it used to be a great page and was of huge interest to me.. off to youtube!

OP posts:
MiddleClassProblem · 27/01/2018 02:12

Banter? Wtf?

I’m a bantersaurus but there’s nothing funny about that. It’s awful and vile but also doesn’t make sense.

Why did they do it? What was the joke meant to be?

Original poster
Bedsox · 27/01/2018 02:18

Your guess is as good as mine according to comments on the photo a lot of this has been going on i havent seen as although im a memeber i dont follow as i was finding my news feed was filled with stuff from the group so i have to visit the group to see whats going on. I did try to look at this persons profile but couldn't find any pictures of an actual person all jokey pics and all the posts where from Facebook games. Im wondering if it was a fake profile! Whoever it is i hope they have been kicked off!

OP posts:
Original poster
Bedsox · 27/01/2018 02:18

Sorry so many typos

OP posts:
SheldonandPenny · 27/01/2018 02:24

That's horrid. You're not being a snowflake at all. Who does that about a baby? If that's banter they have lost all sense..

Champagneandthestars · 27/01/2018 02:30

You actually know the person who did it? Fuck banter! I'd kick off massively about that! Stop wringing your hands about posting a picture of your beautiful baby and find a way to ruin them!

Original poster
Bedsox · 27/01/2018 02:31

That's the downside of social media people say and do things they never would in real life. I used to have a boyfriend who was part of a group who used to roast each other for fun because they enjoyed it he used to tell me about some of the stuff that was said and most of it was well over the line dont think i recall him saying anything about kids being mentioned though. Even still dont expect to see this on a fan page.

OP posts:
ScaryMary81 · 27/01/2018 02:32

I would contact the Police via 101 as someone targeting your child's photo is seriously disturbing.

ScaryMary81 · 27/01/2018 02:33

Also maybe consider what you share in future on social media regarding your children.

Original poster
Bedsox · 27/01/2018 02:33

I dont have a clue who has done it im almost 100% sure its not anyone i know. Ive done all i can do ive reported the photo and the profile. The profile is very sparse nothing to go on at all.

OP posts:
MiddleClassProblem · 27/01/2018 02:34

Have you changed the settings on your cover pics?

Original poster
Bedsox · 27/01/2018 02:34

I was wondering about calling the police. This could be anyone in the world though. Its so frustrating.

OP posts:
Ladybirdbookworm · 27/01/2018 02:35

You have every right to be upset- that's disgusting Flowers

Original poster
Bedsox · 27/01/2018 02:38

I have changed my cover photo so to outside my facebook friends my daughter does not feature on my profile tomorrow i will ask my mil and df to do the same as their profile pics show dd. If it happens again that's how i will know if it is someone i know as nobody else can see my stuff unless their friends me and dh tested this earlier by defriending each other to check the privacy settings.

OP posts:
Proudmummytodc2 · 27/01/2018 02:38

Sorry to hear this has happened it's absolutely disgusting.

Call 101 the police can trace IP of profiles ect now they can do a lot to trace people on internet.

Your child has been targeted and at the very least you need it logged with the police incase of any further harassment that might take place.

I'd be really upset if it happened to me your feelings are definitely justified.

Johnnycomelately1 · 27/01/2018 02:42

But if the circulation started in the group you must be able to see who started it.

Original poster
Bedsox · 27/01/2018 02:46

I can see the profile of who started it but theres no photos or details of them. Even the occupation and stuff was filled in as a joke all the photos are pictures taken from the internet mainly pictures of cats and dogs or their crude cartoon drawings something to give the identity away

OP posts:
Original poster
Bedsox · 27/01/2018 02:48

Sorry nothing to give identity away. My phone keeps using remembered words so i apologise for all my mistakes and typos in still doing the apple to samsung switch over.

OP posts:
BoomBoomsCousin · 27/01/2018 03:00

I don't think you're dumb to have a photo with your child on your Facebook profile. That really isn't an outrageous thing to do and the fact there are some tossers out there (and always will be) still doesn't make it unreasonable to want to share that joy with people. Imagine how horribly barren our digital world would be if there were never any pictures of babies or children in the public sphere? It would (possibly the reluctance people exhibit already has) skew our view of the world and of what's normal. I think we need to really fight for tools and norms that make our online environment safe, instead of trying to make it all about locking things away.

The person who did this was horrible, there's nothing even slightly "banter"-ish about doing that. I'm glad you're chasing up on it as far as you can and I hope you get some satisfaction, please don't blame yourself for it.

araiwa · 27/01/2018 03:10

Leave the group and forget about it

HuskyMcClusky · 27/01/2018 03:19

Of course it’s disgusting.

People suggesting you waste police time with it are utterly ridiculous.