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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go to bed when husband in a&e?

38 replies

Bingbongband · 26/01/2018 23:32

About 5 hours ago husband went to a&e.

He suddenly got a big black area in the middle of his vision. He has been having visual issues and was due to see a specialist next month but it's got worse the last few days and the black spot is new today. Oddly, he's ready to go to a&e for a cold wheras an arm has to be falling off for me to suggest going but I practically had to force him into the taxi!

Child in bed so I couldn't go and he is by himself.

Anyway, Friday night a&e... I do think he needs to be there but he's unlikely to be prioritised.

Obviously I'm concerned but I'm exhausted. Would I be awful if I went to bed? I'd have my phone turned on next to me. I can't do anything. I can't even speak to him as his phone will be off.

I feel bad about him being there by himself but no childcare.

OP posts:
3EyedRaven · 26/01/2018 23:34

Go to sleep, but just keep your phone near you. What can you do with the kids anyway?

ShastaTrinity · 26/01/2018 23:35

Of course not, if you can sleep, you really should. If he needs you, he can call you, and the more you rest now, the better you will be able to help with your children and him.

You are doing the right thing not to drag your child in A&E. Send a text to your husband and go to bed.

I wish him all the best, and hope it's nothing worst than a migraine kind of thing, but there's nothing you can do right now. Flowers

saoirse31 · 26/01/2018 23:35

You did the right thing, hole he's ok

saoirse31 · 26/01/2018 23:36

Hope!!!

HermionesRightHook · 26/01/2018 23:37

Sleep with the phone on loud - what else can you do? He may need you to be on the ball in the morning. It is scary but he's in the right place and you have the children to think of; they'll still need seeing to in the morning.

If it helps, if you were in A&E and he was with the kids, you'd need him to be rested enough to help them and you in the morning, I guess.

boatyardblues · 26/01/2018 23:37

Hmm. Sounds like it could be a retinal detachment. If they admit him so they can operate tomorrow, you can always get up there first thing with an overnight bag. A heads up, if he needs a vitrectomy to repair a detachment he will need to keep still for the first 2 weeks and hold particular positions to help the repair take. You will have to do absolutely everything at home.

ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 26/01/2018 23:38

Fingers crossed all ok, you should def go to sleep while you can!

BitOutOfPractice · 26/01/2018 23:38

Sorry but I personally would have wanted to go with him. Is there anyone who could stay at yours?

DramaAlpaca · 26/01/2018 23:39

You need to get some sleep if you can. Hope he's OK Flowers

BulletFox · 26/01/2018 23:39

No, get some rest. Might be a long day tomorrow. Snatch it whilst you can!

ugghhreally · 26/01/2018 23:39

Well if no childcare I suppose you have no choice. Sounds serious, same thing happened to my mum she had retinal tear and was very lucky the doctors saved her sight (surgery). I hope he is in a hospital that specialises in this.

ADishBestEatenCold · 26/01/2018 23:41

Send him a text, telling him you have your phone right next to you, so you'll hear it if rings. Send him a hug. Then go to sleep.

boatyardblues · 26/01/2018 23:42

Alternatively, if you can't get up there, does he have a night owl mate who can go & keep him company. They may use diluting eye drops on him so they have a good look in his eye. Once dilated, he won't be able to see a bloody thing. It's disorienting and it does help to have someone with you to be your eyes. However, if he's on his own, I am sure the staff will take good care of him until someone can get to him.

ugghhreally · 26/01/2018 23:43

You may want to consider seeing if you can get childcare to go to him. I had a v serious heart issue last year. Severity was unknown at the time I went to A & E. I insisted husband stayed at home, but I was so happy when he arrived (I was terrified and in resus unbeknownst to him). He may want your support.

Idontdowindows · 26/01/2018 23:43

Go to sleep, you need your energy in case he needs caring for later.

idontlikealdi · 26/01/2018 23:44

You have no childcare you may as well sleep if you can. I wouldn’t be able to sleep but at least doze with your phone on. Hope he’s ok.

Xmasbaby11 · 26/01/2018 23:45

Try to rest or sleep. Tomorrow may be a long demanding day
Hope all goes well.

BulletFox · 26/01/2018 23:50

He's probably worn out himself to be honest, you can tackle it better and be there tomorrow on some rest.

Originalfoogirl · 26/01/2018 23:50

I’d have been asleep a couple of hours ago.

frozenlake · 26/01/2018 23:53

Go sleep, you may be running around a lot tomorrow. Hope it goes well.

Chocolatesprinkledcrumpet · 26/01/2018 23:55

I second the retinal detachment theory. Surgery and rest most likely. You did what you could and what was best for your family. People here will tell you they would have went with him, but as hoc childcare on a Friday night is impossible to find. Get rest, I've got a feeling you will need it and your husband will need you in as sane edition as possible. Minding dc in a middle of the insanity that is a&e or worrying about them if you would have left them at home isn't the support your husband needs. Good luck tomorrow, keep us updated if you can.

Riverside2 · 26/01/2018 23:57

He dudnt call a friend to sit with him? I'm guessing from that he feels okay to be there alone but tbh I feel rather sad for him.

BulletFox · 27/01/2018 00:00

Are you actually allowed to have someone there though this time of night?

Hopefully OP's DH is asleep.

Butterymuffin · 27/01/2018 00:02

What ADish said. Text him then get some sleep in while you can.

TrinitySquirrel · 27/01/2018 00:07

Is his retena detaching? 😮