Putting DD in the shower/bath...

[scarletslass]

...fully clothed?

DD (almost 3) is testing her boundaries atm, and being rather stubborn. I was trying to get her into the bath (with the shower running over it as it fills), but she was refusing to get undressed. Rather than end up having another shouting session, I said to her that if she didn't let me undress her, I'd put in her the bath fully clothed. She carried on messing about, so I picked her up and stood her under the shower.

To be clear, the shower/bath was nice and warm, I did it gently and without yelling, and she just looked a bit surprised and said it doesn't feel nice. I helped her out, got her undressed and then we had a nice, fun bath.

DP thinks this was a bit cruel. I think it was a better option than a shouting match and made the point that I'd do what I say I will if she doesn't behave. Who is right?

It’s not cruel

As soon as she decided she didn’t like it you got her out, helped her get undressed and have a stress free bath. Much better than letting her tantrum escalate.

Totally fine

Perfectly no im not saying I would have just not bathed her if she needed it but didn’t want a bath.

In the OPs scenario what she did sounds like quite positive discipline, teaching consequences, and something they could giggle over. That’s great.

However if a child didn’t want a bath at all dumping them in fully clothed would be cruel IMO. I would find other ways to make the bath happen.

Which would have meant either pandering to her, or wrestling her clothes off her. Neither would have been right.

No, I don’t agree with that statement, but seeing as we are straying into purely hypothetical ground here it doesn’t matter does it.

I've done the same with my dcs when they've refused to get undressed for the shower, only had to do it once with each of them.

I've also made ds brush his teeth on the walk to school when he refused to brush them at home and would have made the others late for school. I warned him that he'd have to brush them on the walk to school or at school if he didn't brush them but he still refused.

It's not cruel it's teaching them that sometimes things have to be done whether we want to or not. I'm not going to spend my life negotiating with dcs over every little thing and pandering to them, nothing would ever get done if I did. Some things like washing, teeth brushing and dressing appropriately have to be done.