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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

CUNTING UPS.

74 replies

AnachronisticCorpse · 26/01/2018 16:44

After many years of faffing and prevaricating, DH finally ordered his new guitar the other day. HUGE deal. He almost never spends on himself and has had the same guitar since he was 14 (although it’s been repaired so often it’s not really the same one anymore). I was beyond thrilled that he finally decided, and he was looking forward to playing with his new toy this weekend.

Delivery was today. I have been in all day. I have seen every car and van coming in and out of the close. No UPS vans. No knocks at the door or rings at the bell. We have a dog who goes mad when people approach the house. No one has.

But APPARENTLY they tried to deliver it at 10.44. Did they fuck. And to add insult to injury they only deliver Mon-Fri (wtf?) so he now has to wait until next week.

Why are delivery companies so shit? Why do I get lulled into a false sense of security every time? And why for the love of fuck do they not have an actual person I can speak to to vent my spleen?

Gaaaaaaaah.

OP posts:
Rudeolf · 26/01/2018 18:20

Oh sorry! I missed it Grin

Too busy thinking about Viz.

Those were the days.

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 26/01/2018 18:20

Oh, I'm not wasting anything.
Grin

Agerbilatemycardigan · 26/01/2018 18:20

Absolutely - I know how to say fuck off in 6 languages, including Cantonese. I can insult people on an international scale.

Jozxyqk · 26/01/2018 18:21

I must admit, when I first saw the thread title, I misread UPS & thought it said LIPS. Which was rather odd.

mustbemad17 · 26/01/2018 18:22

I went to a boarding school with several different foreign speaking students...it is absolutely 100% the law that the first thing you learn in any language is how to swear with maximum impact 😂

Jammydodger81 · 26/01/2018 18:22

We never had bike sheds at school so we smoked in the toilets instead. Unsurprisingly we were caught. Often!

ilovesaladcreamandbeards · 26/01/2018 18:23

Oh my goodness....laughing so much at folk being given a lecture on swearing by someone who likes swinging hairy ball sacks in their mouth/face 🤣🤣🤣

Greensleeves · 26/01/2018 18:24

me too mustbemad. I can say fuck off in Finnish, Russian, Lithuanian, Swedish, Japanese...

also sometimes when I smoke outside when it's dark I get a little frisson of fear and hide the cherry behind my hand Blush

DGRossetti · 26/01/2018 18:24
SparklyMagpie · 26/01/2018 18:26

HemanOrSheRa 😂 I'm so fucking sorry

mustbemad17 · 26/01/2018 18:28

Greensleeves i'm impressed! We had Cantonese, Japanese, Russian & German. So much fun

LanaKanesLeftNippleTassle · 26/01/2018 18:29

Proper lolz at someone called teabagging complaining about swearing.
I'm a proper deviant sexually, but even I find tea bagging gross.Wink

Soooooo fucking "classy" compared to a good ol' anglo saxon word. Hmm

If you know MN is a sweary place, why cunting bother hanging out here if you don't like it??

NM is cute and fluffy and censors even "bitch" so fuck off there if you don't like swearing.....

Place is full of pearl clutching fuckweasels and cuntbadgers recently.

(See what I did there? Wink )

Aaaannnnnyyyy hhooooo....

OP UPS are cunts of the highest order...one of them left an electronic item out in the pouring rain and it was fucking ruined.

Dontwantanicknamethanks · 26/01/2018 18:30

So fucking hilarious!

ilovesaladcreamandbeards · 26/01/2018 18:34

Cuntbadgers 🤣🤣🤣🤣

EllenRipley · 26/01/2018 18:50

Big motherfucking LOLz to @Iliketeabagging ... Hmm

I feel for you, OP - I've had texts that say 'we tried to deliver (lie), we left a card (no you didn't) and here's a photo of your front door (that's not really your front door but a deliberately blurred piece of nothingness) to prove it.'

It's a first world problem but it sends me into a rage every time.

sandrapanda · 26/01/2018 19:18

My DS18 was due a delivery by UPS (Utter Phucking Shit as my DS renamed them) last week and apparently they attempted to deliver item twice, leaving no card. They lied, we have cctv and no attempts were made, he complained, they couldn't give a flying fuck and just kept repeating they'll re-deliver after weekend.

We checked google reviews for this particular depot 1 out 5 of stars...

ItMadeMyEyesWater · 26/01/2018 19:19

I just give the middle finger, that crosses all language barriersGrin

UpstartCrow · 26/01/2018 19:39

ItMadeMyEyesWater Be very careful its not an unintended compliment in another culture!

mustbemad17 · 26/01/2018 19:48

ItMadeMyEyesWater a good friend of mine would ask which orifice you would like said middle finger planted 😂

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 26/01/2018 19:55

I have found that Fuck Off & Cunt translate amazingly easily in any language hence eliminating the need to learn new ones 🤔
Also get extremely annoyed when the swear police rear their knob heads & insist that swearing somehow makes you lower class or less classy-again Fuck Off Cunt usually suffices... 🙄

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 26/01/2018 19:56

Oh & to answer OP-have always found UPS to be very good, sorry.

MoeSzyslaksTwinSister · 26/01/2018 20:01

UK mail done that to me. Two days in a row they came nowhere near the house yet said they'd tried to deliver both times!

I can see the fucking depot from my window. Ended up out in the rain to go get it.

Wallopers

MoeSzyslaksTwinSister · 26/01/2018 20:04

I can also say cunt in Portuguese but it's not that hard.

Rednailsandnaeknickers · 26/01/2018 20:07

Best cunting thread in ages Grin

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