CUNTING UPS.

[AnachronisticCorpse]

After many years of faffing and prevaricating, DH finally ordered his new guitar the other day. HUGE deal. He almost never spends on himself and has had the same guitar since he was 14 (although it’s been repaired so often it’s not really the same one anymore). I was beyond thrilled that he finally decided, and he was looking forward to playing with his new toy this weekend.

Delivery was today. I have been in all day. I have seen every car and van coming in and out of the close. No UPS vans. No knocks at the door or rings at the bell. We have a dog who goes mad when people approach the house. No one has.

But APPARENTLY they tried to deliver it at 10.44. Did they fuck. And to add insult to injury they only deliver Mon-Fri (wtf?) so he now has to wait until next week.

Why are delivery companies so shit? Why do I get lulled into a false sense of security every time? And why for the love of fuck do they not have an actual person I can speak to to vent my spleen?

Gaaaaaaaah.

Ha!

Good luck OP, we had one of their cards, except it didn't say where the bloody parcel was delivered, apparently in a pick up location, so we drove to four different ones to chase it.

I must add that we all, dogs included, were in on the day on the original delivery attempt. There was none.

Fuckers.

Oh yes, no card either.

I reckon they just couldn’t be bothered.

Clearly HemanOrSheRa , Glitterspy

I have a huge vocabulary. In four languages. I swear like a sailor in all.

I obviously meant Iliketeabagging fucking hell 😂😂😂

Teabagging may not be a swear word, but it does invoke images of a couple of hairy bollocks being deliberately lowered into some poor sod's unsuspecting gob.

Yes Tea because we all want to be considered "classy" moronic saying here on MN.

It absolutely fucking adds to the outrage when they say 'tried to deliver' when you've been sat 2 metres from the front door all day waiting for it

Off thread slightly but DHs favourite word is 'cunt' can he say it like a normal person? No, because he's a fucktard he says it like 'Kuuuunta' it slightly rhymes with munta, But more harsh and throaty.
Everytime he says it I want to stab him. 😂😂

Perhaps you should go to a classier and more intelligence forum teabagging if your delicate sensibilities are so threatened here!

Good luck with the delivery OP, hope they pull up their socks!

Oi! How very fucking dare you SparklyMagpie .

Justabadwife

Has he seen Glow on Neflix? There's a character called Koontar there.

I have a huge vocabulary. In four languages. I swear like a sailor in all.

You are my new role model! FOUR languages!

You just have to read some of the obscene insults on this forum to see how creative and imaginative the members are.

Oh look the big kids are here, shouting fuck, cunt, wankers and being all cool.

Is this the grown up online version of kids smoking behind the bike sheds. I said cunt !! Look at me!!

Oh look, here's Bluntness being all blunt, calling everyone out - loot at me! I tell it like it is!

I couldn't work out what the thread was about.

Being all capitals I thought cunting ups were a bit stronger than the common or garden fucking ups.

A kind of fuck up on steroids.

As I have nothing useful to add to this discussion, I'll get my coat.

Watch those capital letters, OP.

I was just coming onto the thread to commiserate, OP. UPS are generally reckoned to be dreadful here, too.

As an aside, I don't usually swear, but will do when the occasion calls for it. Swearing has its place & this is definitely it! My current favourite is knobsplash. Not technically a swear, but filthy nonetheless. (Learned from DH - mouth like a sewer.)

And, I actually laughed at the image of running through a field of bees, covered in honey. Made a pleasant change from cleaning up after DD. Norovirus (I think)... it's been a fun couple of days... I'm praying I don't get it.

I also thought this was going to be a sweary variation on Cutted Up Pears or similar...

Isn't Bluntness100's point negated by the fact they've used 'gratuitous swearing' themselves? I've never been a cool big kid

Literally in stitches at the vocab police 😂
Nothing good to say about UPS, they suck. I once got an 'attempted delivery' card left at the bottom of the stairs. I live on the first floor in a small set of flats 🤔 Wankers

Ah, smoking behind the shed, those were the days.

God I miss smoking at school. It's just not the same when you're allowed.

also thought this was going to be a sweary variation on Cutted Up Pears or similar

So did I

What is teabagging? Is it when you double dip the teabag to save money?

True that.

I'd like to think I gave a reasonable explanation above Rudeolf 😇

I have a huge vocabulary. In four languages. I swear like a sailor in all.

Surely the only reason to learn a language is to be able to swear in it ? Otherwise you're just wasting consonants.