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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to tell my mum to find her own racist knitting patterns

201 replies

gamerwidow · 26/01/2018 16:21

I am currently embroiled in a disagreement with my Mum because she wants me to find her a knitting pattern for a golliwog.
I have tried unsuccessfully to explain that this not the innocent toy she thinks it is and have told her that I am staggered that she thinks it is anything but racist. She is only 70, she should know better.
She is now in a massive sulk.
Am I right or should i just have let her have her knitting pattern?

OP posts:
PickAChew · 26/01/2018 16:24

If she can use the internet, she can find one as well as you can. There's plenty of doll patterns out there that she could adapt. The shape isn't that complicated for an experienced knitter.

Shakirasma · 26/01/2018 16:25

Wtf would she want to knit a Golliwog?

YANBU!

MissionItsPossible · 26/01/2018 16:25

YANBU. Who's she knitting it for btw?

Trinity66 · 26/01/2018 16:25

If she wants to knit it that's her business but I wouldn't be finding her a pattern or giving it to any of my DC (if that was her plan)

MissionItsPossible · 26/01/2018 16:27

Yes Trinity that's why I asked! I thought she might be planning to give it to a child.

chocolatestrawberries · 26/01/2018 16:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

John4703 · 26/01/2018 16:29

I am 70 and can't I understand why anyone would want to knit a golliwog. Totally out of order to promote racism, she may as well knit chains to show that slavery is good.

Original poster
gamerwidow · 26/01/2018 16:29

She’s knitting it to go in the raffle at her sheltered housing.
She can’t find it on her own she’s rubbish at using computers.
She could adapt a pattern true and I can’t force her not to knit one but for God’s sake it’s just not appropriate is it. I feel like I’m going mad trying to explain it to her.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 26/01/2018 16:30

I'd tell her to find her own if she really wants to go ahead.

taskmaster · 26/01/2018 16:31

She's 70 years old, leave her be. Yes, golliwogs are bad but its not for you to bully your mother into seeing things your way. Just tell her you can't help her.

Original poster
gamerwidow · 26/01/2018 16:34

She’s not a bad person just old fashioned in her views.

OP posts:
MargaretCavendish · 26/01/2018 16:34

She's 70 years old, leave her be

She's 70, not 90! I know people who are still working at that age - would that be an ok attitude in the workplace if it came from a 70 year old? Unless she has some other vulnerability - and the way OP talks suggests not - then just being 70 is no excuse, and it's patronising and ageist to suggest it might be.

Trailedanderror · 26/01/2018 16:36

70 really isn't old. No that's in this context.

Tweetiepie1000 · 26/01/2018 16:38

What about if you found a nice doll pattern instead of the one she wants? There are some really nice free patterns on ravelry with lovely dolls and you can knit all sorts of clothes for them etc.

Maybe some of it is she doesn’t realise how many pretty knitted doll patterns are actually available now. (Which are not remotely racist!)

IJoinedJustToPostThis · 26/01/2018 16:38

Can you point out that a paid of gloves or a scarf or even a fucking tea cosy would be better?

Trinity66 · 26/01/2018 16:39

She’s knitting it to go in the raffle at her sheltered housing.

I seriously doubt they'd accept it as a prize (or maybe they would but there's no way they will actually use it

AssassinatedBeauty · 26/01/2018 16:39

I'm not sure what's hard to understand about why it's racist. It's a doll based on a negative stereotype about black people.

I'd give her a pattern for a knitted doll that isn't a golliwog and try repeating your explanation as to why a golliwog is not appropriate.

geekymommy · 26/01/2018 16:41

If you don't think you can convince her that this is a bad idea, just tell her, "I have no idea where to look for something like that".

taskmaster · 26/01/2018 16:42

She's 70, not 90! I know people who are still working at that age - would that be an ok attitude in the workplace if it came from a 70 year old?

Do you have to be 90 before you aren't harangued by your children?

Her attitude would be fine in a workplace, in that knitting whatever she wanted in her own time is her own affair.

Do people not realise anymore that people are entitled to their own views and ideas, even if you hate them?

TroelsLovesSquinkies · 26/01/2018 16:45

Tell her you won't help, but suggest she knits one of these guards , my son got one when he was born from my Great Aunt He loved it till the moths are through it.

Original poster
gamerwidow · 26/01/2018 16:46

They will accept it as a prize her co residents asked her to make especially

OP posts:
AssassinatedBeauty · 26/01/2018 16:48

The OP doesn't have to help and enable her mother to do something that she finds wrong though.

Kittypillar · 26/01/2018 16:48

She’s knitting it to go in the raffle at her sheltered housing.

If it helps, it might be worth pointing out that they probably would not want to use that as a raffle prize in the first place because, as you've said, it really is not deemed appropriate? Eeesh.

KanyeWesticle · 26/01/2018 16:49

I agree - no gollywog.

Here's a lovely little girl rag doll. It's free. She can make one white and one black if she likes?

www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/ragdoll

ReanimatedSGB · 26/01/2018 16:49

Then you need to get off your high horse and source the knitting pattern for her. It's not up to you to police her hobby, or her friends.