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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be feeling fairly gutted at some stupid comments DH made last night.

33 replies

MegaLegs · 28/04/2007 09:59

He'd had a couple of pints and always talks bollocks when slightly inebriated. Any hoo, he told me he'd had a convo with guy he works with about the benefits of having two wives, one for the dirty work and one for the bedroom (charming - he sounds bad already) I stupidly asked which one I'd be and he said well you already do such a good job with the house you shoould carry on!!!!

Megas self esteem level plummets.

Then proceeds to tell me about the young, nubile very pretty 25 year old single mother of three he had worked for that morning, she was what started the convo about two wives apparently.

Self esteem level now at rock bottom, doesn't help that I'm knackered, have PMT, a load of spots and still overweight.

There was other stuff too on a similar theme. I am so astonished at his complete lack of sensitivity. when I told him he was a)talking out of his arse and b) I was actually very hurt and offended. He tried to laugh it off, just something blokes talk about, just a joke etc.. Fine but then why tell me about it?? I'd rather not know thanks.

Anyway - I am gutted. DS2's party this afternoon, meant to be getting house sorted but I keep crying and I really can't be arsed to be honest.

Have braced myself for onslaught of comments from both sides in what is my first foray into the world of AIBU. Do your worst, kicks up arse most appreciated.

OP posts:
edam · 28/04/2007 10:00

No, you aren't being unreasonable, your dh sounds like a pig. Selfish, sexist, oaf. In this respect at least.

themildmanneredjanitor · 28/04/2007 10:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cappuccino · 28/04/2007 10:06

stop crying the man is a twat

brimfull · 28/04/2007 10:07

I would be upset aswell,you need to talk about how you feel whilst sober.
Bet he regrets sying it.

MegaLegs · 28/04/2007 10:07

I had considered this one mmj!!

He's always had a problem with his mouth running away with him. Especially when he has had a drink. He digs a hole and gets deeper and deeper. I try to point out that some times he says stuff that is really insensitive but he always comes back with "it's just my humour." He does have a problem really, inherited from his Dad who is just the same. Foot in mouth disease my MIL calls it.

Most of the time he is lovely -I think he was trying to be one of the lads but he went too far.

OP posts:
twentypence · 28/04/2007 10:07

Tell him you fancy two husbands - one to earn money and one for the bedroom and he'd be neither (unless loaded of course and then you can generously let him be the former).

saralou100 · 28/04/2007 10:07

oh no, you poor thing! what a mean bastard!!

i hate it when dp talks to me like i'm one of his mates!

would it help if i said, you may be spotty and overweight, but your spots will go and you an lose the weight, your h will be a complete arse for the rest of his life for making the comments!!

have you spoken to him today??

now go dry your eyes, get ready for ds2 party and enjoy yourself!!

happytalk · 28/04/2007 10:08

Now he is sober,has he properly apologized?

MegaLegs · 28/04/2007 10:10

He's at work this morning, home at lunchtime.

He knows I'm upset but he is crap at actually saying sorry. From past experience when he has upset me ( and to be fair it's not that often) he will spend the afternoon doing my every whim and be a right crawler.

I aim to use this to my best advantage.

OP posts:
colditz · 28/04/2007 10:12

Write him a letter.

In large print

_

FUCK OFF YOU ARROGANT KNOB HEAD! YOU HAD BETTER HURRY UP AND GET YOURSELF A SECOND WIFE BECAUSE YOU ARE SO BAD IN THE BEDROOM I HAVE DECIDED NOT TO* PUT YOU THROUGH THE HUMILIATION OF TRYING TO LIVE UP TO THE STANDARD MY EX BOYFRIEND SET, THEREFORE WON'T BE SHAGGING YOU AGAIN.

_

sockmonkey · 28/04/2007 10:13

Poor ML. Comments like that will leave you feeling like crap.
I would suggest a small form of harmless revenge to cheer you up. DH is very very particular about his books... hates leaving fingerprints on them etc, so last time he was an idiot, I licked one of the covers (secretly) and felt a lot better.
My DSis puts cans of beans in the bottom of her DHs work bag to make it that bit heavier to carry.
It's very childish and silly, but then again so am I.
Hope all goes well with your party.

colditz · 28/04/2007 10:14

cLEAN YOUR BATHROOM WIT6H HIS TOOTHBRUSH. yOU WILL FEEL SO MUCH BETTER.

soorty

tiredemma · 28/04/2007 10:16

second Colditz-

I did that after dp made a shit, out of hand comment.

I cleaned the lav with his toothbrush and took great delight in watching him brush his teeth.
Pity he never got dysentry.

happytalk · 28/04/2007 10:19

Then i think he should take you shopping-jewellery i say.

MegaLegs · 28/04/2007 10:19

I am feeling better already - thanks!!

Yes, revenge may be the key.

I am going to get on with a few chores ( afterall I am so good at it) but will update later when he gets back from work.

OP posts:
MegaLegs · 28/04/2007 10:20

PMSL at sockmonkey licking books!!

OP posts:
sockmonkey · 28/04/2007 10:26

Glad you are feeling a bit better. Will wait to see what you come up with.... no pressure

collision · 28/04/2007 10:26

I think you are being silly and overeacting tbh.

You said he had been drinking and you have pmt!

stop being pathetic and sort yourself out for the party!

pickledpear · 28/04/2007 10:33

ML - he is not a bastard or a wanker he is your lovable husband being a bloke; insensitive, think before they speak, talk out their arse, macho, regular guy they all do it at some point then as you say come crawling when sober realised it could have serious knock on effects like bedroom ban food ban the list is endless so chin up; smile; and let him crawl away,after all you have the upper hand now. gosh the party is going to be alot of work for him and you sit and drink wine and chat....
if none of this helps then at least you know he is your bastard!!!!!

MegaLegs · 28/04/2007 10:39

pp.

Collision - will do!

OP posts:
collision · 28/04/2007 10:41

GOOD...GLAD YOU DIDNT TAKE OFFENSE!

sorry for capitals

SusanStoHelit · 28/04/2007 10:46

when dp is being an ass i stop doing the little things for him....

i've perfected the art of only making my side of the bed

i make food me and the kids eat that he doesn't like so he has to fend for himself.

i let his washing build up til he has to come begging for socks and boxers

you get the idea, have fun

(and no obviously YANBU)

edam · 28/04/2007 10:58

Impressed by only making your side of the bed, how on earth do you do that?

mytwopenceworth · 28/04/2007 10:59

i'm simply impressed that you make the bed!

powder28 · 28/04/2007 10:59

Am impressed by people having time to make their bed full stop!