To be feeling fairly gutted at some stupid comments DH made last night.

[MegaLegs]

He'd had a couple of pints and always talks bollocks when slightly inebriated. Any hoo, he told me he'd had a convo with guy he works with about the benefits of having two wives, one for the dirty work and one for the bedroom (charming - he sounds bad already) I stupidly asked which one I'd be and he said well you already do such a good job with the house you shoould carry on!!!!

Megas self esteem level plummets.

Then proceeds to tell me about the young, nubile very pretty 25 year old single mother of three he had worked for that morning, she was what started the convo about two wives apparently.

Self esteem level now at rock bottom, doesn't help that I'm knackered, have PMT, a load of spots and still overweight.

There was other stuff too on a similar theme. I am so astonished at his complete lack of sensitivity. when I told him he was a)talking out of his arse and b) I was actually very hurt and offended. He tried to laugh it off, just something blokes talk about, just a joke etc.. Fine but then why tell me about it?? I'd rather not know thanks.

Anyway - I am gutted. DS2's party this afternoon, meant to be getting house sorted but I keep crying and I really can't be arsed to be honest.

Have braced myself for onslaught of comments from both sides in what is my first foray into the world of AIBU. Do your worst, kicks up arse most appreciated.

I think you sound like you're feeling low about yourself atm, so should spend some time working on that. go to the hairdressers, gets something different done, buy a lovely summer dress and some sexy sandals, some new makeup, some sunless tanner, get a manicure or eyebrows done, strut.

Be assertive with him, tell him you don't need to hear his sexist shit and he can do his own washing

Fantastic Colditz, must save that to favorites

i leave his pillows all balled up but plump my own nicely, i've mastered the knack of shaking the duvet on my side without disturbing his side too much.

it's paticularily evil as he really does love nicely plumped pillows

MTPW, we're unemployed so if i gave up on things like making the bed i think i'd have to hand my kids over to SS there and then, it's not like i've got to be anywhere that i can't spare 5 mins to straighten the beds at some point during the day. don't worry i'm not like brie from desperate housewives, there's no rule it has to be done in the morning!

No you are not being unreasonable but nor (IMO) is he really as bad as some of the other posts suggest; he was just being a drunken moron. You say you're feeling crappy at the moment and his stupidity certainly hasn't helped; maybe instead of plotting revenge against him you need to plan a treat for yourself? A new outfit, dinner with a friend you haven't seen for a while, some kind of pampering treat, whatever floats your boat. For you and not him, and he can take care of your DC while you're out to make up for his insensitivity. Try not to dwell on what he said but tell him that it upset you and that in future he might want not to share that kind of tedious adolescent laddish debate with you. Have fun with your DS's party and I hope you feel less blue soon.

the thing is Mega, men don't seem to have been given the gift of empathy, so he's said all of this and not really thought about how you feel.

I think you have to tell him exactly how you feel now he's made those comments. Now he's sober.

I know you're kind and thoughtful, so that's another string to your bow and a boost to your self esteem, I hope.

just tell him, if he had 2 wives, he'd have double the nagging.

He needs a bit of a dressing down, employ a young and good looking gardener to vocally lust over when dh is present to make him jealous

Sound advice all - thanks everyone.

PP and fleacircus have described him pretty well, he is generally very lovely just has moments of astonishing lack of tact (once told a friend on her wedding day that her dress looked a tight fit [wince] he meant it was well fitted but you see what I mean!)

I do need a revamp. Have bought a few nice summery clothes but need to find time (and dosh) for a haircut. Good weather has started me walking everywhere again so hope to lose a few ponds too.

I must get on!!

Margo xx

Buy a bottle of herbal essences-small- got a free haircut offer on at the moment.