What the hell should I do?

[unhingedtoday]

Had an attendance letter from school, it's our second one and they want us to go in and talk to them to see if they can help in anyway, they may have to report us, we may be fined etc etc

I suppose going in and talking to them is not the obvious answer?

Go in and talk to them.
Ask for help if you require it
Listen
Don't be defensive

Pressed post before finishing
DS is 4 and in reception. He has had quite a few days off because he seems to have caught every cold going this winter, as have I. He is off school with them because they always go into his chest and he struggles with his breathing, has been hospitalised many times over the years.
Anyway, he has been restless all night and has just woken with a terrible cough again. So what the hell do I do?
He's 4 for gods sake, and has had a particularly bad winter. I'm not keeping him off for the fun of it!

Can you not get some kind of doctors note to say he's been hospitalised through his illness?

Try not to fret.

Same answe

I got one of those letters the day after my son returned to school when my Nan died. I declined the meeting. You don't have to go and nothing will happen. Children are allowed to be I'll.

*ill NOT I'll

If you’re in the England, the compulsory school age is five. I don’t think the school can do anything in regards to fines until he reaches five years old, they’ll probably just question you about his absence and see if they can help.

www.gov.uk/school-attendance-absence

He doesn't legally have to be there until he's five anyway. Don't stress.

What lol? If his 4 then he doesn't need to be there.

As others have said - as he isn't 5 yet he doesn't even legally need to be there. They can't fine you

FYI - Your child is of "compulsory school age" on the 1st January, 1st April or 1st September following their 5th birthday. Children becoming 5 years old between 1st January and 31st March are of compulsory school age at the beginning of the term after 1st April.

Yes, that's what I thought about the age. He doesn't even turn 5 until July!

I would go and have a chat with them, rather than ignoring the letter. It may be that they can offer some kind of additional support for him, and could be more aware of needing to watch out for him with his breathing difficulties.

This is just the standard letter schools have to send out. They're obliged to do that once a certain amount of absence racks up. I wouldn't take it personally. He's only 4 so just go in and talk to them and explain how ill he's been.

I know this isn't why you posted but, on a practical note, I always caught everything going until I started taking probiotics daily to boost my immune system and I haven't been ill for nearly a year! That was unheard of before. Last winter I had 3 separate colds! I take them in strawberry flavoured sachets. It's worth a try so your DS stops suffering.

Tell them there is a special register mark for under CSA- code X. 4 year olds attendance is non compulsory so doesn't affect their attendance figures.

Thanks everyone. We will go and speak to them. It just makes me feel like a bad parent, but what can you do if they are ill?

Tell them there is a special register mark for under CSA- code X

People make this up as the they go along. MIS is encoded by the school - us uses X for absence and U for unauthorised.

'special register marks' indeed.

My son used to be coughing constantly, hospitalised occasionally, diagnosed with viral asthma. We now give him piriton daily and his inhaler when required and touch wood he's been fine for ages. It's worth a go!

If he doesn't turn 5 until July then the school has no case as legally he doesn't need to be there. Theyre trying to pressure you because ofsted is obviously throwing their rattle out their pram and stamping their feet.

They're not trying to pressure you - they're fulfilling their obligations and they're trying to see if they can help you. Don't feel defensive, try and build a positive relationship with the school so that they know you and your child and your needs. Go to the meeting, explain the situation and I'm sure they will be lovely and supportive to you.

good luck

We went. They were lovely and the head didn't know about the history of hospitals etc.
Talked about more flexibility like going in later if he has had a bad night with his asthma, bringing him in to see how he goes on, things like that.