Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this teacher being unreasonable or am I?

36 replies

poopsqueak · 24/01/2018 15:51

DD is 5, school talent show on. DD wants to audition, so we have practised a song together and I wrote her lyrics down so she can read them.

Teacher told the class auditions would happen in a few weeks last week.

DD very upset yesterday as teacher said 'who is applying for the talent show?' and about 15 children put their hands up. Teacher called out a few names (dd included) and said 'come to the front and do your audition'. So none of the kids were prepared.

Teacher then said she would be holding auditions over the rest of the week so 4 kids a day could audition a day (ish).

DD was asked to perform and she forgot her words and panicked. She asked if she could go tomorrow when she had her words. The teacher said 'no, this is your one and only chance' so DD improvised a dance (lord knows what that would have looked like).

My AIBU is that if all the children were told that the auditions were in a 'few weeks' then held a week later, of course they aren't going to be prepared. 2 girls did 'half a dance routine because thats all they practised' (dd has told me) and one boy apparently was going to do jokes but got up at the front and only remembered one.

I know this isn't massively important or outrageous, but my child cried on my knee for 20 minutes and I am sad about that, especially when she had practised a lot.

We did it verse by verse, so she had only remembered the first verse and panicked.

Even if the teacher gave one days notice - i.e 'the auditions are tomorrow' so the kids could have been prepared.

Anyway, my DD took her words in anyway so I suspect she will ask the teacher if she can try out again. I don't think she will be allowed to though.

I just dont think it sounds particularly fair on the children who are only 5 and 6.

OP posts:
araiwa · 24/01/2018 15:53

Turn up tomorrow in a suit with a clipboard and tell your doing an ofsted inspection on her all day- see how she likes it..

Pickleypickles · 24/01/2018 15:55

I agree it doesnt aound very fair OP. I think people forget how important the little stuff is at that age sometimes.
I would have a quiet word with the teacher and just explain that dd wasnt expecting it but had been practising and was really excited so is there any chance she could audition again when shes brought her words in?
Worst that can happen is she says no which i guess then you just have to accept.

scorpio93 · 24/01/2018 15:58

1- They're auditioning for a talent show?

Correct me if I'm wrong but usually anyone can enter a talent show. Imagine being 5 years old and being told "no you can't do the talent show" they'd be so sad and feel like they're not good enough! At least if all kids who want to, can enter the show regardless of an audition, they'll all feel good about performing in a talent show whether the win or not?

2- Definitely agree that the teacher isn't being fair. I hope she's allowed to audition. If not then I would personally write to said teacher and explain how it had affected your child and that it's unfair to spring it on them so fast when they've not had time to practice.

I hope this gets resolved

takeitandleaveit · 24/01/2018 15:59

The teacher. They're 5 ffs

MissionItsPossible · 24/01/2018 16:01

Audition? At that age anyone who wants to participate should be allowed.

TieGrr · 24/01/2018 16:03

Poor little pet. I agree with having a quiet word with the teacher to explain how excited and then disappointed your DD was. It's easy to forget how much these things can mean to little ones.

Twogoround · 24/01/2018 16:04

Private school?

Namechangetempissue · 24/01/2018 16:05

Hmm at auditions for a school talent show at five years old. It should be any child that would like to participate should be allowed. Why the pressure? It should be fun and encouraging!

quilpie · 24/01/2018 16:05

The teacher sounds awful.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 24/01/2018 16:06

Ye gods! The teacher.

As an ex teacher I don't often say that! But she is a real meanie! For a lot of reasons!

AppleKatie · 24/01/2018 16:06

Audition? For a talent show at 5??

There’s so much wrong with that... It should be sign up and then if too many names out of a hat (even if certain names never make it into the hat for their own good the kids don’t need to KNOW that at 5!!)

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 24/01/2018 16:06

OMG! She’s 5, what school is it? Fame?

KindergartenKop · 24/01/2018 16:15

You know ofsted only give about 12 hrs notice araiwa?

I think this is one of those things you need to let go. Also don't always take your 5yos word as gospel. Maybe she told the class on a previous occasion and your DD missed this info?

manicinsomniac · 24/01/2018 16:18

Twogoround Private school? Unlikely, I'd say. I'm a performing arts teacher in a private school and would never get away with this in a million years. Audition dates have to be released well in advance, in writing, to parents, with information/suggestions about what to prepare and how much to prepare. Then feedback has to be given. When parents pay they require a huge amount of communication.

manicinsomniac · 24/01/2018 16:20

YANBU by the way. Children shouldn't have to audition on the spot with no prior warning (nor should adults come to that!)

And to whoever was surprised about 'auditioning' for a talent show - it could have been the first round. I often do that with competitions. You can't have all the entrants perform to a large audience or the shows would go on for hours. It has to be the final only.

ReanimatedSGB · 24/01/2018 16:39

The teacher - but the teacher probably knows naff all about performing arts and has been lumbered with running this show.

Though TBH a talent show for Year 1 or Reception or whatever sounds like an utter nightmare - especially if parents are going to be invited. 30+ five year olds singing out of tune, wetting themselves, laughing so much at their own jokes that they fluff the punchlline (yes, one's OWN DC doing this is adorable, but a whole load of other DC you don't know?) And then there will be one poor little sod whose pushy parents have been insisting on violin lessons since the age of 2 or whatever...

quilpie · 24/01/2018 16:45

The teacher - but the teacher probably knows naff all about performing arts and has been lumbered with running this show.

Then they should find out.

Witchend · 24/01/2018 17:45

If you had it from you dd then there's a good chance that the teacher said next week, not in a few weeks.

It happened to me in year R (we said a poem for the house competition) and the best would be in a concert. This happened every year.
I went up to the teacher and said that my poem wasn't ready as my mummy hadn't helped me learn it, and he said "never mind" or something. My overwhelming feeling was entirely, that next time I would make sure I was ready well in advance. Which from then on I did.

Quartz2208 · 24/01/2018 17:48

Yes are you sure she did not say next week and they misheard?

wombleID · 24/01/2018 17:48

Auditions at 5? That's bonkers.
Your dd is a star for improvising her own little dance though!

Original poster
poopsqueak · 24/01/2018 17:54

Yes it was the first round, each class nominates one person to perform in the competition and then the competition is school wide.

Another mum on the Facebook group has said her daughter came home crying too, had practised a joint dance and the other girl had been absent, so the teacher made her do it anyway. Then told her to stop being dramatic when she cried! Eek. She's a hard teacher! (Some aspects I like though). The other parent is having a word tomorrow.

No not private, just a standard primary. I think they may have underestimated how many kids wanted to audition an that's why it's at a class level.

OP posts:
changeAtAnyTime · 25/01/2018 01:54

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

RonaldMcDonald · 25/01/2018 02:07

Yabu

The teacher probably has 1 million other things to do and only limited time to do them in. She also has to give whomever wants a rattle at auditioning. If she had to wait for each child and their variables they would be 7 by the time of the talent show.
She is treating the kids similarly- do a quick turn so we can all vote - you are all 5 with limited talent and attention span and I am busy.

It is hard when your kid doesn't get what she wants or is upset. She also learns from it which is the purpose of school

TwoShades1 · 25/01/2018 03:31

Unless you have it in writing that the auditions were “in a few weeks” then I think it’s quite likely that the teacher said next week or in a few days. Or that the actual talent show is in a few weeks. My 7 year old SD still gets confused about timings and days and will be adamant that X is happening on Sunday even though we have said it’s on Friday about 20 times!

GreenTulips · 25/01/2018 03:44

Well if it's a class vote then it's less about talent and more about popularity - kids are fickle.

Not making the final at five has no bearing in her future

Teacher - who wants to audition - 15 acts

Who would like to perform today? Teacher picks 5 kids -

Kids then start 'but my friends not here, I haven't got my lines, I need my wand, I have a costume at home ......

Ask 30 5 year olds, Who's not had a turn yet' and they all raise their hands and say 'I've had a turn miss' 'I went yesterday' 'mom said ..... I can't because...' 'I've got a new dog/baby/rabbit'

Sadly 5 year olds don't listen!

Swipe left for the next trending thread