To tell my students I'm pregnant

[user1499031722]

I got a real telling off by my headteacher today (I'm a teacher in case that isn't obvious!) for telling my students (I teach 6th form only) I am pregnant.

I had already told the HT and there for the school. I think it's outrageous that she should claim she now has lots of issues to deal with ie has to immediately advertise my role and broadcast it to all staff at the next staff meeting. All I could muster to say was I'm sorry and didn't realise I'd breached professional boundaries. But really I feel this is most unreasonable and ridiculous!

AIBU?

I'm 16 weeks FYI, told students at 15 weeks

Surely once you start to show they will guess anyway? I assume 6th form students can work out one is pregnant rather than eaten too many pies?

It sounds odd to me that your in trouble for saying your pregnant but then I’m not a teacher so don’t know what the rules are

Congratulations on the pregnancy btw

I agree with your HT in that other staff should know before your pupils.

Surely it’s your news to tell whenever you want to whomever. However was there a reason you told your class? At 15wks you prob weren’t - prob still not showing. Surely your head can’t advertise your maternity cover anyway until you say when you’re going so therefore wouldn’t be able to advertise a start date. Congrats anyway xx

Unless you had been asked to keep the information to yourself for a short period of time, I can’t see why you should be in trouble.
Saying that I’m 21 weeks pregnant with a very clear bump and haven’t said anything to my (primary) class or their parents just in case. The parents at least must have known for some time!

Congratulations 😊💐

I’m not sure who I think is being unreasonable really. A bit of both I think. It seems very early to tell your students, so it feels like you’ve crossed the line between teacher & friend with them. On the other hand, her reaction seems a bit thoughtless and over the top. If she had wanted you to keep it quiet for her convenience, she should have asked you not to tell them. I guess she just assumed you wouldn’t this early.

Never mind, what’s done is done. Don’t give it another thought & just enjoy your pregnancy as best you can 😊

I think I agree with your HT. Most professional settings will have procedures and policies in place to deal with things like this so you really should have checked first.

I think the HT might have wanted to get things lined up like when you would go on maternity leave, who will cover etc.

Now the HT will potentially have parents asking questions and won't be able to answer them, so will feel wrong-footed and feel incompetent.

I think I agree with your HT. Most professional settings will have procedures and policies in place to deal with things like this so you really should have checked first.

I agree too.

My students guessed at that point! I think she is being unreasonable. If she didn’t want you to say she should have told you!

Congratulations OP!

I think your HT has been a little over the top but tbh I sort of agree with her. She now had to deal with other parents/teaches/students asking questions about mat leave cover, cover for if you're off sick/antenatal appointments etc without necessarily having a plan in place. I don't work in an educational establishment but we are explicitly told not to tell clients about people leaving (for whatever reason) until a follow-on plan has been set. info think the head should have told you to keep it quiet though.

I can see why she dislikes the lack of control but this is my second pregnancy and I am clearly showing with noticible bump. In my previous pregnancy sixth formers were whispering about it in front of me when I hadn't told them and I felt uncomfortable. I appreciate she probably didn't think I would this early but I personally don't think it's particularly early and I wasn't informed I should do otherwise. There is no written policy or even informal rule I was made aware of that we shouldn't tell students. they told me they already knew which I guess shows it was obvious anyway?

I also don't see need to broadcast to all staff as not anyone's business other than those who I work with and those affected by my absence, involved in recruitment etc.

Thanks for the congrats :-)

Just to add as well, there is never a plan in place in schools prior to pregnancy announcement as the job ad goes live on school website and TES (Times educational supplement) beforehand so everyone knows long before a replacement found.

What? You don't have to advertise a role immediately because you know someone is leaving (whether for maternity leave or any other reason). Nor do other staff have more of a right to know than your pupils do.

I don't really think she should have given you a telling off. Totally inappropriate on her part. Getting maternity cover is not your problem. I really don't think it is an issue. You will be showing bigger and bigger before you go on mat leave so I don't see what difference it makes.
I chose not to tell anyone and I was 20wk and I mean no one - other teachers/headteacher etc. I had a huge bump!!!! Everyone was to polite to ask me but I really cba discussing it. I never said to the pupils to this day. Obviously they knew but never mentioned it.
Its up to the individual teacher.

I’m with the HT i’m afriad

At 16 weeks I looked very obviously pregnant so I’m not sure how the HT expected you to keep it a secret. Sixth formers are not oblivious 5 year olds. Your colleagues have probably already realised too and are just waiting for official word.
Congrats BTW.

Yes and this was main reason - I didn't want my students thinking I was leaving earlier than I am. I am staying until the end of the year and I know they would have worried that they would have had the disruption prior to their exams.

In any other environment it wouldn't be appropriate to tell customers before discussing it with your manager (and certainly not before they had a chance to get some future planning in place) and that's essentially what's happened here. Parents get twitchy over teacher going off on maternity leave so she'll no doubt have enquiries to deal with now that she won't necessarily have the answers to.

It's not the end of the world but I don't think it was very professional.

From a HR point of view and as someone else has said above....it's your news to share as you wish. Your headteacher is being unprofessional by even commenting on you doing this. In fact I'd tell her that if I was you but then I'm quite a ballsy one in the work place!

I didn't tell them before I discussed with my manager? I told my head/school (I am head of dept so no one to tell there) first. Also not sure customers are comparable to students. I spend 5 hours a week with each class and very little time with staff.

She is a horrible cow , has she any DC of her own I wonder ?
Don't let it upset you OP and Congratulations on your new baby.

She does and grandchildren. She is also very supportive of working mums so I was very taken aback!

And thank you Mrsmadeevans!