irresponsible husband car related

[Larryduff]

AIBU my husband is very 'laid back' (he would say, I say just lazy and careless) when it comes to car maintenance. It's one of his very few responsibilities as he uses the car to commute to work every day, I barely use it. It was serviced last summer and he was advised to replace all of the tyres within a few months/so many 1000 miles after the service. I've had to nag him numerous times to do it and every time I'm greeted with the same incredulous eye rolling reaction so I try not to say anything (this is recurrent theme in our relationship but that's another story).

Yesterday he had to take the car in to get the headlights replaced as they stopped working and when I saw the report it said the tyres were 'dangerously below the legal limit' and measured 0.5mm. He said he had to sign some sort of waiver so they would do the work.

I didn't get angry but I told him I was shocked and upset that he'd let it get to that point, driving himself and us and the kids around with such a dangerous car, not only risking our safety and other peoples but also risking a hefty fine if we got pulled over. His reaction was along the lines of 'so what, nothing's happened, you're overreacting.' Also suggesting that because he didn't know it was that bad I can't be angry with him.

I then asked him to leave the car at home and I would take it to the local garage so he didn't have to drive it another 50 miles like that but he insisted on taking to work and getting them done at kwik fit in his lunch break.

I ignored him all last night and he just carried on acting like I was being OTT and eventually I confronted him and said I felt like I couldn't trust him (this is the latest in a long history of laziness and neglect and an attitude of leave it to the last minute and someone else (me) will probably do it) and he just threw it back in my face.

I just want to know if other people think he's in the wrong and should have at least apologised. If it was me I would've been mortified (not that I would have ever let it get to that point but I could give him the benefit of the doubt if he showed a bit of remorse).

Scrap the car is probably safest all round.

Lazy is one thing but most lazy people would still manage this. I couldn't be in a relationship with someone so stupid, uncaring and unpleasant

Why is it OP fault that her husband is to lazy to sort the car out. Why do we keep allowing mostly men to do the bare minimum all the time.

OP if it was me I would be telling your husband he has 24 hours to sort it out otherwise I would be reporting to the police myself and he will not be trusted to drive me or our children anywhere until he can prove he is an adult and can put our safety above his lazy arsed behaviour.

You knew since the summer. And you say you’ve nagged him. So why did you keep getting in / using the car? It’s the drivers responsibility and if you’ve driven it since then you’re responsible. Legally.

What I mean I. The driver is supposed to check windscreen washers and tyres and fluids before they drove the car. If the police pulled you over for Baldy tyres then “my husband was supposed to sort it oops” wouldn’t cut it.

You have used the car since.

Everyone who would report their partner to the police, could they please explain why? Surely that’s damaging to the family unit?

We have all joint money, if I reported DH than a fine would effect me as much him.

You both knew, you're both responsible.

So quick and easy to book a car in for new tyres and take it to the garage.

Everyone who would report their partner to the police, could they please explain why? Surely that’s damaging to the family unit?

You really need this explaining to you?
Ok......
my partner deliberately driving a car in an unsafe/dangerous condition increases the risk and likelihood of an accident - and the chances of seriously hurting themself, any passengers and/or the public.

I do not desire to be responsible for 'damaging' my own family unit like this nor anyone elses.
Neither do i wish to have fatalities/deaths of others on my conscience either.
Other people's lives are just as valuable as mine, my partners and dc's. ....so if i could reduce/stop the chances of that happening and my own complicity in it then i will.

Or are seriously saying you don't care if your partner had an accident and killed himself - or someone else?

If course I don’t want my partner to burn themselves. I just wouldn’t see it as a police matter,

Hurt