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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

About Nursery Hours?

84 replies

Teawithtoast · 23/01/2018 18:35

I'm going back to work soon. Part time, three days a week. I've found a really lovely nursery, but having read another thread, it's clear that long days at nursery are considered by quite a few to be unreasonable for babies. Given the hours I am expected to work, it is unreasonable to put an 11 month in nursery from 07.30 - 18.00 three days a week? If so, what else can I consider? (family providing childcare is not a option, neither is cutting back on my working days/hours sadly).

OP posts:

BackforGood · 23/01/2018 19:38

I agree with FurryGiraffe.
I chose a CMer because it was the closest thing to being 'at home' we could achieve, as I needed to go back to work. I really liked how much my dc went out and about with them, as opposed to be sat in one room all day, every day, as happens at a lot of Nurseries.
When he started school, he'd been in to lots of school things (assemblies, sports days etc.) as well as being used to the playground, the journey, etc.,... every day they called in at the park on the walk home from school. He went to shops and experienced things like going to the post office and the supermarket occasionally. He still mixed with other children at Toddler Groups etc. They walked miles and got fresh air and saw all the things you talk about on the way (diggers, Autumn trees, a helicopter, puddles, birds, squirrels, etc.,etc.etc,). She could really adapt to the weather, to how he was feeling - still took him when 'under the weather', etc.
However I'm sure all CMers aren't as brilliant, and I'm sure there are some Nurseries that are. It's personal choice.

skislope · 23/01/2018 19:40

I had a bad experience with a childminder as although they are regulated they work independently. She was quite unreliable, bought my child fast food even though I provided a lunch and just took them on her chores with little other stimulation apart from television. I preferred nursery for these reasons (aswell as more children being there so they made friends).

Rabstar · 23/01/2018 19:42

Both mine were full time nursery from 9mths and absolutely thrived. If you have selected the right nursery they will be spending time in an enriching, creative environment with a team that will form close bonds with and truely care about your child. It is normal to have the fears you have, I remember having them myself, but they were quickly dispelled. Each child is different but I have never understood the 'they'll be exhausted" comments , never experienced this, they are still active late afternoon the only difference been the environment they are in home vs nursery. Mine went to nursery full time because I had to work, but it turned out to have the added bonus of supporting and developing highly rounded and confident children by the time they went to school. Don't worry it will be fine!

Milliways · 23/01/2018 19:44

My DD did 8-6 3 days a week from 7 months old, and full time from 18months. I asked her the other year (she is now married) if she was ever resentful of Nursery, after school club, holiday clubs etc and she said no- she always knew she could tell me if unhappy and we would try and change things (happened a bit as she grew older).
DS only ever went 3 days as I managed to change my hours once DD was at school, but they both grew up to be great kids and now adults.

Just make sure your gut tells you the nursery is the right one for your child.

Merryhobnobs · 23/01/2018 19:46

My daughter started nursery at 11 months a full 3 days a week and she has thrived. She loves nursery. I know we absolutely made the right decision for her and us.

SaltAndPeppaPig · 23/01/2018 19:47

I've heard from a few people that full days can actually be more beneficial to the child, as they get used to the new routine quicker having spent longer periods of time in nursery as opposed to half days or only 1 day a week for example. Plenty of young babies and toddlers need to be in childcare for full days understandably when parents are working and there's nothing wrong with that! Your child will likely make friends quicker and become used to the carers quickly, after the initial settling in process, which can be difficult for any child (and parent!) no matter their age or how many hours they'll be doing. Best of luck to you and your little one!

liquidrevolution · 23/01/2018 19:54

My dd did 7.30 till 6pm 4 days a week from 8 months. It's hard and tiring but she is fine and thriving. She will certainly be ready for school in September.

And I sometimes finish work early and dont bother collecting her till 5.30. I'm a bit of a rebel.

BikeRunSki · 23/01/2018 19:54

My dc were in nursey for similar hours and also 3 days s week from around their first birthdays until they started school. At 6 and 9 now, they seem pretty ok.
—don’t be influenced by the judgy gaming dad thread—

Ellisandra · 23/01/2018 20:01

07:30-18:00 four days a week from 12 months.

She loved it there! Low staff turnover, small rooms, felt like a little family in there, all the staff knew her and she bounded in every day with a smile once she was physically able to bound! Lots going on, and all centred around her - not just fitting in around a CM's day and his/her other charges which I don't personally like. (though I know others do)

AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered · 23/01/2018 20:11

It's heartening to hear all the positive stories, DS will be going to nursery 4 days a week once he turns 1, 08:30 to 5pm. I feel like it's too long a day for a baby, and am terrified he'll hate it I'd absolutely hate to be a SAHM even though we could afford it but equally I'd hate it if DS was miserable.

Not all DC are the same, what works for some doesn't for others. We've decided if DS hates it to first try a nanny and if that doesn't work to both go part time. It's a really tough decision!

ItsASunnyDay · 23/01/2018 20:36

DD2 (12 months) is about to start nursery. She is booked in 8-17:30 5x days a week. DD1 also went to nursery from a similar age and got on brilliantly. They do far much more than they would stick at home with me. So don't worry - plenty of kids do the same hours and are absolutely fine!
That thread was quite weird - I am paying for 5x full days but am actually going to pick her up at lunch time on Fridays as I finish early. I also won't send her when I'm on annual leave. I wouldn't keep her there just to get my moneys worth! Bonkers!

Original poster

Teawithtoast · 23/01/2018 20:39

Thank you so much everyone! Feeling much more positive now!

OP posts:

BettyChristmas · 23/01/2018 20:50

Anecdotal evidence but DD who went to nursery 4 days per week from 18 months is an exceptionally easy going child. Other children in the family who stayed at home or went to a childminder are not.

My preference of nursery over childminder is that I worry you never really know what one adult operating alone could be doing with your child, whether it’s a homely environment or not. I’ve seen friends’ DC stuck in trollies being pushed around the supermarket by CMs doing their shopping with zero interaction! At least at nursery there are more adults, structure and accountability. Also - I want my DC to see ‘home’ as exactly that. They go to nursery for childcare when I am at work but they only have one ‘home’ here with me where it’s different to nursery, rather than just being in different houses with different sets of rules etc.

happydays00 · 23/01/2018 21:03

My DD does 08:00 - 17:30 2 x days a week and has done since she was 9 months old. She loves it and as a pp says she also has coped much better than I expected! She is tired when I pick her up but no more tired than she is after a bush day of toddler group plus activity when at home with me. I am one of those "awful" mothers who sends her to Nursery on days where I could have her at home with me but choose not to

Bossbaby12 · 23/01/2018 21:06

My DD has been in for a similar amount of time since she was 9 months. I was worried and felt really guilty initially but we all got used to it very quickly and she loved it from day one!

PurplePotatoes · 23/01/2018 21:11

Both mine (DD 4 and DS 16 months) go to nursery for 3 days a week 7.30-5.30 and are absolutely fine. In fact we didn't send DD to nursery until she was 3 and I wish we had done it sooner as I don't think it benefited her at all socially and she struggled to settle and seemed to lose a lot of her confidence .
DS gets up to all sorts of messy activities that he absolutely loves, tries new foods etc. He loves it. I'm also one of those awful mothers who has an afternoon to herself once a week I need it! to do boring housework

BeakyPlinder · 23/01/2018 21:13

Mine is going 8am-6pm, 3 days a week starting next week. I have no other option unless I win the lottery. It's the best I can do, why would people judge us for this?!

kitkatsky · 23/01/2018 21:16

My daughter went730-6 five days a week from 10 weeks old. I didn’t like it but I had no choice. She benefitted from nursery so much tho- honestly think it brought her in leaps and bounds!

fruitpastille · 23/01/2018 21:19

I've had amazing childminders. I love the home from home environment. Mine do lots of enriching activities and get out and about to parks/farms/soft play etc. They get together with other childminders and their mindees too. Illness/holidays have rarely been a problem in ten years however I do have family back up so that's easy for me to say.

I found the major advantage of a childminder is when the children are school age they can go before and after school (and holidays if needed). I appreciate that is a while off for you!

meandmytinfoilhat · 23/01/2018 21:21

Many babies go into nursery younger for those hours.

Your child will be fine.

beansbananas · 23/01/2018 21:33

My daughter is 8 months and has just started nursery 8-6, 4 days a week. We're on week 2 and although she is still getting used to sleeping there, she seems very happy. No tears at drop offs or pick ups and I think she's really enjoying the more stimulating environment with other babies.

melclaire1111 · 23/01/2018 21:37

My little one went from 7.5 months 5 days from 730 - 530. I cried my eyes out when I first dropped her off (so did they!) But within a few weeks they were absolutely fine and settled so well. At 21 months her speech has come on so much more than I believe it would have being at home and she has so many little friends as well.

Hubby and I try and alternate pick ups as he does shifts so can sometimes pick up earlier , but even if he is off I insist she stays in til at least 4 so I know she has a proper dinner there as well.

I went to pick her up the other day when they were all in the garden and she was having so much fun that she didn't want to leave!

If you go with a nursery I would advise reading the Ofsted report. We looked at one nursery which looked ok and actually had better hours than where DC goes now, but the Ofsted report was terrible (inadequate!) So we looked for somewhere else and are so happy with our choice.

Allthewaves · 23/01/2018 21:48

poster NoArmaniNoPunani

Do not feel rubbish. My husband works away. I work 2 and a half days and you know what my kids have always been in childcare on my half day for the full day until 6pm because i like an afternoon to do adult stuff like drink a coffee in nice coffe shop, do a bit of shopping, shock horror - get a hair cut. I have no guilt, it's kept me sane.

TableShack · 23/01/2018 22:00

Lol! Don't worry. Mine did 8.30-5.30 five days a week from 7 months each - I have the happiest, most well-adjusted kids of anyone I know. Probably because their parents are kept sane by working!

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 23/01/2018 22:08

My kids attended nursery 8-6 mon to fri.theyre happy,well adjusted,loved nursery
I will say,you need to become resilient to any comments,and lose any mum guilt
You’ll encounter detractors,they’ll even regale you with dubious research that nursery is harmful
You ignore all that,chin up and get on with working.youll be a good role model to your child

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