To leave my kids home alone for 5 minutes

[Justalittlelemondrizzle]

Just wondering what is the norm/acceptable. The dcs are 9 & 10. Wibu to nip to the shop for 5 minutes. They go to the shop and play out by themselves all the time and dc10 has a mobile should they need to call me while I'm out. They're pretty responsible and I'd lock the front door to stop anyone getting in but unlock the back door to the secure back garden in the unlikely event of them needing to get out of the house.

Sorry OP, not hijacking your thread, just wondering how long people would leave 10 year olds for. How long would those saying yes to 5 mins, how long would you say a 10 year old is ok for. For instance, a 10 year old off school due to sickness. School run for other children takes 1 hour and half. Some mums say yes, just get back asap. My DD is v v mature, but never been left alone so I don't like it. What would you do?

If she's not used to it, skippykips, 90 minutes sounds a fairly long time to start off with. I've just started leaving my 9yo and the other day I was gone 40 minutes, a bit longer than I'd thought because of traffic. She said afterwards that the first half hour was fine but the last 15 minutes she was starting to get a bit scared - though that was perhaps because I was a bit delayed.

I would, yes. If they go to the shop alone then they can stay home alone while you go.

Another one who can't understand why it wouldnt be fine unless other issues involved

If you have to lock them into the house, then they are too young.

@frogsoup
Yes thank you, I wouldn't leave her that long when she is sick. However, i have no idea what I would do with DD2 getting to school.
I can't even leave her for 5 mins at the moment, I get so so paranoid! I do need to give her trust and responsibility. So perhaps will build up a little

I do this with my dd who is 10 for up to 1/2 an hour. She is my only 1 so gets left by herself too. I give her the choice to come with me or stay home. She mostly chooses to stay at home

Friedgreen, you're not locking the kids IN, you're locking everyone else OUT.

DO you have a child over 4?

I leave my 9yo home alone to run her teen sister to her bus stop a couple mornings a week, takes about 20mins for the round trip. Means she has time to finish getting ready for school without a mad rush. She’s sensible, knows what to do and has a back up plan for if I have any problems when out.

I was walking home and home alone for 4 hours at that age. All day if sick.

So yes. Unless they're the type that start burning stuff the minute your back is turned.

I would leave a sick 10 yr old to do the school run (although it isn't 90 mins) but it depends what is wrong with them and how used they are to being home alone. A just turned 10yr old who has never been left alone and is projectile vomiting- no, a nearly 11 year old who walks to school alone, is used to being home alone and is towards the end of a migraine, yes I would take that risk. Life is rarely black and white.

It's fine as long as they don't fight and there is no bullying.

I would leave them without having given it more thought than letting them know and going out.

Well yes. in my opinion, but they're your kids. I leave my 10 year old alone all the time. He is starting secondary in September. Thats just 8 months away (gulp)
He is going to have to make his own way to school (which he does now, but its only five minutes away - the journey come Sept is considerably longer and by bike) He is going to have to let himself into the house after school.
People have very differing views about this. Some (imo) mollycoddle and some (again imo) are far too easy going, but you are the parent, and you know your children. Children need to learn independence at some point although its hard for us as parents to let them go. I think 9 is a perfectly good age to start trusting them to be alone for short periods.

I leave my 7&8 year old occasionally to pop to the shop, so 5-8mins tops. They're well drilled over what to do and what not to do, and are sensible kids. It does make me slightly nervy, but only because I know that if I feel others would judge if I told anyone I have absolute confidence, as much as possible, that it's absolutely fine and works for us. They usually play their iPads and don't move a muscle for the entire time

I thought people here might be interested in the thread running right now (not sure if I'm allowed to link it!), in which it becomes clear that in Finland, it is entirely normal for 6-year-olds to be trusted to walk an hour home by themselves through the snow in minus 15 temperatures! No traffic admittedly, but it does go to show by just how far in this country we have lost the trust that we should have in our kids to look after themselves.

You know what, kids surprise you if you give them the chance.