To leave my kids home alone for 5 minutes

[Justalittlelemondrizzle]

Just wondering what is the norm/acceptable. The dcs are 9 & 10. Wibu to nip to the shop for 5 minutes. They go to the shop and play out by themselves all the time and dc10 has a mobile should they need to call me while I'm out. They're pretty responsible and I'd lock the front door to stop anyone getting in but unlock the back door to the secure back garden in the unlikely event of them needing to get out of the house.

I would with the ten year old but ny at nine but then mine didn't play out or do the shopping at that age alone. Different parents have different ways of doing things.

9&10? Absolutely. Mine are 7&8 and I regularly do this. They are sensible though and I test them when I get back by knocking on the door to see if they answer it! (They don't).

Of course it's fine.

I've left my 10 and 7 year olds home alone for 20 minutes a few times when absolutely necessary and the 10 year old on his own for a few hours weekly. If you trust them and they know the rules, then yes, no problem.

Ds is 9 and on the days his sister has an after school club he walks himself home from school, lets himself in and I get in about 20-30 mins later. When dd finishes school at normal time they walk together.

I would do this with my dc and wouldn’t bat an eyelid at any other family doing it (as long as the dc were happy doing it and sensible enough to deal with the responsibility).

The fact you’re asking worries me.

With most 9 and 10 year olds it would almost be a no brainier. Of course they’d be fine for 5 minutes.

However that’s “most” not all. And no one knows them as well as you, as their mother. So if you’re asking, then you must be hesitatant for some reason.

Yes definitely fine.

Of course.

I have recently started to do this and mine are 8&9. The front door is locked and they both have an iPod so can Facetime if there is a problem.

I think that sounds fine!

Alittleconcerned, I think it's more that people read threads on here where people say that leaving a 7 or 8yo alone for 15 minutes is practically grounds for removal by social services, and start questioning their own (perfectly sound) judgement about what their kids are capable of.

Of course it's ok. In the real world most people do this type of thing all the time, it's only a certain subsection of mumsnet that give the impression it's the norm to treat dc like toddlers till they are late teens.

I thought it was fine. There just seems to be lots of conflicting advice/discussion around. On here and elsewhere. I went to the shop and all was fine when I got back. Obviously! 😂

It's fine as long as they're happy about it and won't be stupid. Half an hour at that age is fine as long as they're happy about it and won't be stupid.

Absolutely fine. I had my own key and cycled to school at that age.

God yes!

A few years ago, there was a woman on here who refused to let her neurotypical 15 year old go to/from school alone because he "wasn't mature enough" (and whose fault is that??). Threads like this make me wonder what happened to that poor kid. I'm guessing significant rebellion, unless his mother listened to the wisdom of MN.

I just send mine to the shop now, that's the beauty of kid's growing up surely? Can only assume you needed fags, booze or lottery . I've left mine to do the same before (9yrs), my shop is literally 1 minute away. He does have contact numbers for family and lots of his friends live in our street, on the off chance I have a terrible accident crossing our tiny no through road.

Of course it's ok. In the real world most people do this type of thing all the time, it's only a certain subsection of mumsnet that give the impression it's the norm to treat dc like toddlers till they are late teens.

This is very true. Most people I know do this from a very young age.

Yeah, I wouldn't do it at night but otherwise fine. Mine walked to school from younger than that

9 and 10? Fine. I think the younger one needs to be okay to left alone in his/her own right, as it's not fair to expect the older child to be "in charge". So I wouldn't leave a 10 and a 6 year old, for example.

It must be a good idea to do this in baby steps, surely? 5 mins here and there, then half an hour and then longer when they're in secondary school.

I'm reassured that most people agree that this would be fine.

I've taught in HE for about 12 years and have really noticed an increase in students' lack of independence. I do get the feeling with some of them that their parents have barely allowed them out of the house before sending them to university, and it shows. Many are just debilitated by neediness and lack of independence. This is not doing them any favours in later life, imo.

9 and 10? Of course it's ok! I was letting myself in after school at 10.

40 years ago nobody would have turned a hair.At 10 I had a door key in case my mother was out when I got home. I think a 10 year old 40 years ago was more 'grown up' than today's children, perhaps because they were given more responsibility. I'm not saying that's a good or bad thing - it's just my observation. In my opinion a 9 and 10 year old should be fine on their own for 5 minutes. I wouldn't have given it a second thought when mine were that age. Although they would probably wanted to come to the shop to see what they could scam out of me.

We leave the DTs by themselves for short periods of time (they are nearly 10), usually when I have to leave to take one of them somewhere and can't take the other twin along as they have to be somewhere else with DH. I know where DH is thanks to find my iPhone.

They also go to the supermarket for sweets together without us now.

I was also walking home from primary school with my younger brother and would let ourselves in with a key too aged 10.